


Doctor will see you now, Dean Winchester

by gp120



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-05-14 10:03:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 75,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5739499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gp120/pseuds/gp120
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is looking to explore his newly found interest in men. Crowley just happens to be around at the right time. It couldn't be that bad, right? Benny lands the surprisingly weird role of the fairy godmother for Dean's foray into dating men.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been bugging me for ages. Had to start putting it on paper. Will be pretty long eventually. I am envisioning at least 8 chapters with the current story line. Any comments will be appreciated. All mistakes are mine. I have no beta. So if you see grammar mistakes etc., let me know. I am happy to fix them. 
> 
> I will not be on a strict posting schedule. I have to work and apparently sleep sometime too...

“…all clear. Get the client in and prep for shift change. Over.”  
The ass with delusions of grandeur slipped past Dean to the opulent hotel room. The gun visibly strapped to his side barely covered by the suit jacket apparently made the clients feel they got their money’s worth. The celebrities thought someone was out to get them and they got paid to babysit. Simple living. Low stress usually. Just annoying. These people had no concept of real danger. A screaming tween was hardly capable of killing anything. And hardly required a full on security detail. What were they going to do? Erupt their ear drums with squealing and drown the target in drool?

Sometimes the client did really need them. The ambassadors and such. Still no accidents thus far though. He was hired based on his experience mostly. But ex-military tended to keep together, and Benny Milowitch was his buddy. And owed him. Iraq almost got Benny. And because of Dean, that did not happen. His bullet had been faster than the terrorists hand by just enough. Dean mostly worked the tactical side of things for Benny now, but since the crew had been hired by this weird pop star, they were under staffed.  
Benny had gotten him in with the job. After his last tour in Iraq, Dean had been drifting. “It will be just something to do. Easy money. You have to pay rent, right?” Benny had said. And thus far it had been exactly that. More human relations than he ever wanted to deal with, but the money was good. Good enough that he could actually pay part of his little brother’s tuition and a bigger place to have them both their own rooms. 

“Copy that, Milowitch.” Dean waited for Alex to take the night watch and headed home. The drive in his perfectly kept Impala was relaxing with the sparse late night traffic. The hum of the engine provided the soothing atmosphere required for forgetting about the idiot. He had the audacity to make Dean hold his coffee at the Starbucks he insisted he needed to go in to make an appearance. Ass.  
His place, for which the money was needed for, was a two bedroom apartment in a quiet neighborhood. Nothing too fancy. Nice balcony, real kitchen, air-conditioning, thick walls, gigantic TV. All he really needed was a beer and a pizza with some brainless TV.  
____________________________________________________________________________________  
Sam was ashamed. This was not supposed to happen. Everything was perfect. The classes were going well. He had a nice evening with his friends. The weather was cool and clear. Perfect for walking around and soaking in the night. And then this. It wasn’t the first time, but it was the worst he had felt.  
It would not have been a big deal if he didn’t feel so sick. The concussion was obvious even to him. But he could not see from his right eye. And his side hurt every time he took a breath. He could hardly walk home. The cabdriver stared but kept his thoughts to himself. Thank god Sam still had his wallet on him. He could have left it at Ruby’s. 

He had come to Ruby’s apartment a bit later than he said he would. And Ruby had not liked it. It was an accident. Really just a big misunderstanding. He did not flirt with anyone and had not had that many beers. His girlfriend should have known that. But she was in one of her moods. He should have anticipated this. It had been at least a month since the last episode and she had been slightly depressed lately. The fist to his face was a surprise and he had gone down harder than expected. He could not quite remember what happened after that.  
He hoped Dean was not home yet. His brother did not approve of Ruby. He never said anything outright. But never also teased him about her, like he used to do when Jess was still around. Never talked to Ruby. Only at her. Or through her.  
Sam fumbled with his keys and noticed his hands were swollen and cut up. Weird. Turning the key hurt his thumb a bit. Curious. And the light was on in the living room. Damn.  
“Hey, Sammy! What do you want on the pizza? I’m about to order in like five minutes.”  
“Holy shit! Did you get in a fight?!”  
“I…yeah…I need to puke….” Sam stumbled to the bathroom and collapsed next to the toilet. He felt really tired. And as soon as he was done puking, it was bed time for sure.

Dean had seen enough concussions to recognize his little brother had it bad. And the eye did not look good either. He heard Sam puking and gasping in the bathroom for a good five minutes. He opened the door to see Sam curled next to the toilet and whimpering. Something was not right.  
“Christ! Sammy, look at me!”  
Sam’s visible eye tried to concentrate on him.  
“Okay, we are heading to ER right now.”  
“No I just need to sleep…”  
“Dude, no. Do not fall asleep!”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
Dean drove too fast. At least it was night. Not much traffic after midnight. Less chance of killing someone accidentally. If Sammy was bleeding to his big brain and got brain damage… Not worth worrying yet.  
“You awake buddy?”  
“Hmm…?”  
“Sammy, you need to stay awake, okay? Just talk about something, anything. What happened?”  
“I was out late. Shouldn’t have been.”  
“So someone attacked you? Did you know them?”  
And Sammy just chuckled sadly. Wait. That didn't sound exactly like a chuckle, and it just kept going. Oh dear lord, he was crying. So, someone he knew. Christ.

The ER was packed with people. Saturday night was apparently a bad time to need a doctor. Filling out the paperwork while waiting was nerve wracking to say the least. Sam’s visible eye was red and puffy. Yes, Sam is over 18. No, he does not smoke. Uses alcohol moderately. No allergies.  
“Winchester? Room 3, please.”  
Dean accompanied Sam to the exam room. Just in case. Sam was vulnerable. And it was Dean’s job to care for him.  
The door opened and the doctor came in. A bit shorter than Dean. Stocky, bearded man. Obviously tired. “Concussion then?” He looked at Dean without even seeing Sam.  
“Ammm….yeah”  
“And why are you here? Are you also concussed or just look stupid naturally?”  
Sam actually chuckled at that.  
“I’m his brother. Ass… He was assaulted. Didn’t want to leave him alone with an asshole… I mean, Dr. Asshole”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
Dr. McLeod paused. Wait, what? Assaulted. And he could feel the color leave his face. He was not supposed to be in here in the first place. But they were short on staff. And he was technically staff. In a different department, but still employed by the hospital. And this was why he avoided the ER and general practice.  
Given the evening’s shortage of staff, he was unlikely to pawn off a concussed patient. And the security could not do anything about the situation, if there was a situation to be had. He looked at the chart in his hand.  
“So brother of…Sam Winchester. I would like you to wait outside.”  
“Dude, not leaving.”  
“For a below the waist procedure? Really? Are we a bit too close?” Damn. Should not have said that in front of an assault victim…  
“No! Just no! Not like that. He just….I can’t.”

Okay so the brother was not too controlling. Willing to leave the room for legitimate reason. And sounded genuinely worried about the brother. Also, unlikely to be the one having done the assaulting. Still getting info from a victim with a close family member in the room was not happening. Shame was among the most effective deterrents of truth.  
“Look, Sam Winchesters brother. I am going to have to conduct the examination without you here. If there is any chance of collecting evidence and building a case against the assailant, this needs to be done without you.”  
“I’m Dean.”  
“Right, Dean. Just wait outside, okay?”  
“Dean. I’ll be okay.” Sam’s little encouragement was enough. The brother left. Dr. McLeod could bet he did not go far though.

“So. What happened, Sam?”  
The boy was looking anywhere but at the doctor. Great.  
“Look, I need to know so I can treat you properly. You must know I need to ask: Do we need to test you for STDs or was there a condom used? If you don’t know, it’s okay. We can run your blood in any case.”  
The boy looked confused. And then understanding light up his face.  
“No! Good God, no! It wasn’t that kind of an assault! No, just…..fists. And maybe kicks. A bit of scratching….. I don’t really have that many details, but my pants were on all the time!”  
Oh thank God! Not that kind of an assault. Dr. McLeod was back in business fully.  
“You want to raise charges?”  
“No…”  
“You sure? It could be your word against his, but I could take pictures and document the damage for leverage.”  
“…she has problems enough…”

The mumbled answer explained the extensive defense wounds. This kid would not hit a girl. Why it is the ones raised right who get it turned against them?  
“Okay then. Let’s take a look at the damage. Shirt off. Do I need to see anything under your pants?”  
“No?”  
“There was a question there. Okay. Off with the kit. Keep the underwear on. Take this gown. I’ll wait outside.”

As soon as McLeod stepped out Dean was on him.  
“What is going on?!”  
“Doctor-patient privilege. Sorry. You’ll have to ask him after I’m done patching him up”  
“He’s not gonna talk about it! He will mope and isolate himself and pretend!”  
“All fine survival mechanisms…. You want a name of a shrink?”  
“I… no. I’ll try and talk to him”  
“Not to him. With him, okay?”  
“Oh… okay. Thanks.”

Sam had put the flimsy hospital gown on. Dr. McLeod promised himself he would not comment on the boxers with bunnies on them. He could laugh about it after his shift.  
“Okay. Where does it hurt? And even little things can matter, so no down playing.”  
“My head, but that feels like a concussion. I had one when I was younger. My hands really hurt. And when I take a deep breath there is a sting on my side. And my back aches and my knees feel bruised…”  
McLeod felt Sam’s head first. Nothing too alarming. Just a huge goose egg at the back of the head. A bit of blood hidden by too much hair. Easy to treat. Just needed some pain meds. And maybe a damn haircut. “Did you know you were bleeding from your head?”  
“Ah…no. Honestly it just felt numb.”  
“Well. Let’s take a look at your back….and damn that explains why you feel sore. There are foot shaped. Or shoe shaped. Difficult to tell. No broken skin. And it does not feel like anything is broken on the left side. And right side….”  
“AUGH!”  
“Okay, right side is not great. Feels like a broken rib here. We’ll take you out for x-rays and make sure nothing is punctured”  
He took a look at the hands next. Pretty swollen and bloody.  
“Squeeze my hands, Sam. Good. Seems like these need just bandaging. And lots of rest.”  
“I have class Monday morning. Can I write by then? Or you know. See from both of my eyes?”  
“What class?”  
“English composition and algebra. Oh and Political science.”  
“Can you use a computer for writing stuff? If so, use it. And avoid straining your hands. Your eye will be fine. And do you really need to see for political science…?”  
“What? Yeah I need to see!”  
“Just pulling your leg, Sam. As long as the x-rays come clean, you should be able to attend classes as long as the headache doesn’t get worse”

They were carting Sam to radiology when Dean pounced at him again.  
“Calm down! Sam needs an x-ray. He should be back soon and I’ll read the results as they become available. You have an hour at least here. Have coffee or something. Feed the parking meter for your car. Whatever.”  
“Oh shit! The car!”  
It was a bit funny seeing the man run for the exit. McLeod found the view was exquisite with the tight jeans. Mixing business and pleasure was not acceptable, but Dean was not a patient. He allowed a bit of pleasure. He was entitled for slaving in the ER. Where he admittedly did not belong to. His “attitude” was wrong and he could not “deal with the clientele” ER was bound to have. Surgery on the other hand had the advantage of anesthesia making the patients more agreeable. 

Sam’s x-ray looked okay. The bruising was severe and there was a fracture there, but all he could do was wrap the ribs.  
“So will you be coming back with this kind of stuff next month or the month after that, Sam?” The wrap was tight enough for now. It would have to be redone. And the rib needed time to heal. If Sam went back to fighting anyone, the damage would likely be worse. “Will there be another broken rib, a black eye, concussion?”  
“I….no. I won’t be back…”  
“Just so you know. I think this is not the first time this kind of thing has happened. And it is scary to leave someone behind. But you have to. You have your brother. He seems to care great deal about you.”  
“Yeah, Dean is a mother hen sometimes. We live together.”  
Interesting. Brothers living together past youth and parental involvement. At least there would be someone keeping an eye on Sam. Which reminded him… Dean was behind the door again thankfully. 

“Come on in Dean, Sam is almost ready to go.”  
“How are you man?”  
“I’m fine. They gave me something for the head.” Sam’s eyes were a bit glazed over.  
“He is going to be a tad loopy on Vicodin. You can fill the prescription tomorrow. Oh and do you know how to wrap ribs?”  
“Yeah, yeah. Anything else?”  
“Just to make sure: the wrap has to be really tight. Tighter than you would think.”  
“I was in the army. I can field wrap anyone.” That deadpan answer was very interesting. The yummy got the physique probably from training. Dr. McLeod’s spank bank got a new character: soldier Dean in camo. This shift could not end soon enough.  
“Well then. Have a good night boys. Sam, do not get yourself hauled back here again.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________  
Dean was driving home. It was past midnight. And Sam was asleep on the passenger’s side leaning against the window. Who would beat his sweet little brother? Did Sam hit on some asshole’s girlfriend? Was the guy some kind of expert in beating people? Dean knew he had drilled basic self-defense skills into Sam before his first tour. Had Sam not practiced? Or was he too slow? Dear god, was he threatened with a gun to deem him defenseless?  
Hauling Sam upstairs was not easy. Thank god the elevator was working. Stairs would not have been pleasant. Dumping his concussed brother on the bed with all his clothes on and just throwing the covers over him was as much as he had the energy to do. He should be there when Sam woke up.  
“Hey Benny, It’s me…… yeah sorry I called this late. I can’t take over from Alex in the morning.”  
“What? Why? Dude, we need you to keep up appearances for the wanker”  
“I know. But Sammy got beat up, and we just got back from the ER”  
“Jesus, Dean! How is he?”  
“Concussed. Has a huge shiner and a broken rib”  
“Ouch… Well I guess, I’ll take one for the team. You know I hate this right?”  
“Thanks Benny. I’ll make up for it, I really will.”  
“Like the good old days in Iraq? My girlfriend would love that.”  
“…eh….not that! But you know. Night shift as soon as Sam’s in the clear or something.”  
“I ain’t got a much of a choice do I, unless I fancy looking after your brother…. Which I don’t.”  
“Thanks Benny”

Benny and he had fooled around during Dean’s last tour. When the tent got too cold during the night, Benny would wrap himself around anyone close enough. And Dean had started making himself the person closest. He had just needed something. And Benny was solid enough to feel like there was something more real to it than blood. 

Dean had been surprised how okay he was with the hand jobs. He wasn’t a homophobe, but not being one and having some leanings toward men were not the same thing. The night cuddling he could shrug off as unconscious need for warmth and human contact. A hand on a dick was a conscious thing. Front lines in a war-zone had not been the greatest place to have a sexual crisis in. First of all, everyone lived too close to each other and there was too much eye candy everywhere with less than sufficient amount of clothing on. Secondly, there were no women in his platoon to make any comparisons. Did he still like women? Was this just something he was pushed to by too long tours with mainly men around? 

He had talked to Benny about it a bit. Benny had been understanding and gruff about it. He had told about the first few times he did stuff with guys. How he had gotten over the fear of people knowing. So the girlfriend was a surprise in the end too. Benny had casually mentioned he was bi. And then a week later, showed the picture of a redhead in his pocket. Apparently Dean had not given a prick vibe or scent of disgust at the bi comment, and this was the reward for it. “Does she know you, you know, do stuff here… with me?” Dean had asked. Dean could not be the…mistress? Was that the right term? “Yeah she knows. I tell her stuff man. She actually gets off on it.” 

And that had resulted in a picture of him and Benny being sent to the girlfriend. Without their shirts, hugging and Benny crabbing Dean’s ass. And she had enjoyed it so much, she actually sent Dean cookies and a picture of her enjoying the photo. And Dean had his answer there. He could still appreciate the red head’s limber legs and full lips. The ass was exquisite with the panties framing it just right. But when he needed to get off, he imagined a rougher hand on his dick and a bit of stubble grazing his cheek. 

After coming back, Dean had not dated. Women or men. He did have a new appreciation for porn. And used it as educational tool. Trying to stay quiet while fingering oneself the first time had been difficult. Especially after he found the prostate and the reason this being a bit gay was apparently all the rage. That was the first time he cursed the decision to room with Sam. 

This was one of the times he was glad to share the apartment with Sam. God knows what Sam would have gotten into on his own.

“Dean, you should have gone to work. I feel fine.”  
“You, my man, cannot wrap your own ribs at the moment. And I need to keep you resting. No food making and running around the apartment for you.”  
“You are not making food! We both know it won’t be edible and we will starve!”  
“Don’t be dramatic, bitch. I’ll order the pizza I was going to get last night.”  
“…jerk.”

“But seriously Sammy, who did this to you?”  
“If I tell you, promise me you won’t go ballistic, Dean? Please?”  
“Someone assaults you and I should be calm? That is unlikely to happen dude.”  
“Thus it is unlikely that I will tell you”  
“Fine then. I will call your girlfriend here and she will make you tell who it was!”

Sam’s face lost all the color and he swayed in the couch he was sitting on. And he just spilled the sordid tale to his big brother. How Ruby was usually nice and adventurous and energetic. And then she would get depressed and violent. And she would blame Sam for setting her off. And then be apologetic and cry for days trying to placate Sam. Everything could be okay for months. And then something would happen. And again things would be perfect for a few months. Sam’s swollen eye was drowning in tears by the end of the sordid little tale.  
“Sammy, do you think Ruby has some sort of mental illness?” Dean suspected that would be the case. He had met Ruby. Apparently on one of her good days. And she had been a bit manic. But he had figured she was Sam’s “manic pixie dream girl” or something. Seems like she might be “manic depressive pixie nightmare girl”. 

“Sam, she needs help. And you cannot be the one to give that help. It might sound cruel or shitty, but do you have her parent’s phone number or e-mail address, or anything? They need to get this thing under control.”  
In the end Sam called Ruby’s parents. They seemed shocked. They knew Ruby had problems. And they knew she had a medication for it. Which was all news to Sam. She had probably stopped taking her meds few months into their relationship. The parents promised to come down and take care of Ruby. And Sam promised to see them before they would take Ruby home to Connecticut. Dean though it was a bad idea. And insisted on tagging along for the meeting. At least he was able to convince the meeting to be had before the parents would confront Ruby. And with no Ruby around. After Sam’s classes would be a good time. Sam would be too tired to defend Ruby and sugarcoat anything for the parents.  
Monday afternoon was a good time for a late lunch and hashing out the details of Sam’s assailant. Dean wanted to think he was ready for anything. But when Ruby’s dads sat in the booth with him and Sam, he was in shock. 

“We knew Ruby had problems when we adopted. She was doing so well with the medication though.”  
Dean would have had something intelligent to say about the situation, if he was not in a state of unresponsiveness with his mouth hanging open. These real life gay people in front of him had adopted a kid. Did they have “Gaydar”? Could they tell he liked fingering himself from just how he looked?  
He did not pay attention to the conversation at all. His mind was racing and his hands were sweating. And at the same time he was curious as hell about how these two people met. And how normal they really seemed. Their handshakes at the end were just normal. Not limp or sweaty. Sam was livid about Dean’s poor manners and insistence of being there and then not saying a word to Ruby’s parents. 

Dean still had to re-wrap Sam’s ribs for the night, so he would have to just deal with it.  
Maybe he could have that? A real relationship. The sex part he obviously was okay with in theory and in his limited experience. His boss would not mind. Benny would approve for sure. But how does one go about finding a…boyfriend? He was not in college or anything. No easy access to other experimenting guys. And it would be weird to try stuff out with an eighteen-year-old. It would look bad. Thirty was not the age to start this stuff. Or was it? What was the gay normal? He needed to talk to Benny.

After his promised night shift standing around another rich idiot’s garden, Dean headed to the main office. Benny would be already in by now.  
“Dean, how was the night my man?”  
“Boring. Wet. We need to stop doing this outdoor crap when the snow gets deeper though.”  
“Right you are. This was hopefully the last overnight you need to do this year.”  
“We could get platforms in the trees at the edge of the property and just you know…pick out any potential assailants with tranqs.”  
“Dude… not everyone has the skills you do. They would shoot the post man and we would be in deep shit.”  
“Heh…I know. Just a thought.”

“So what did you really come in for? Usually you just head home and crash for a while.”  
“Right….Um….Benny you remember Iraq and when we would you know…”  
“Oh I remember. Anna remembers too. You thinking about a rematch? Anna would love that.”  
“Ah…not exactly. I’ve been thinking and the whole guy thing seems something I should check out. So how would I go about that?” Dean felt half of his blood supply was collecting to his face. Having his eyes solidly on the nametag on Benny’s desk, he probably lost some non-verbal communication. But screw it. He just needed the advice, not the amused grins or whatever Benny’s face was projecting.  
“Well. I’d say get onto Grinder and shop around, but I know that would be too much for a first timer. How about a bar. You like bars, right? Alcohol helps a bit. Do you know what kind of person you are interested in seeing?”  
“Not really? I mean someone relaxed and… I don’t know… Not girly? That would be the whole point of the gay thing, right?”  
Benny chuckled and when Dean finally looked at him, he was smiling.  
“Tell you what. I’ll take you out this Friday. I know a nice bar on the edge of the downtown. Blackstone’s is a decent place for chatting and hanging out. You might like it even if you were not in the market for company”


	2. Chapter 2

Dean knew Benny’s offer for chaperoning his first gay bar outing was beyond kind. But it actually prevented Dean from chickening out too. What does one wear for these things? Were gay guys attracted to the same stuff women were? That would make sense…maybe? So black jeans and a gray t-shirt. Blue shirt, no flannel. Casual suede shoes. Did this look gay enough? Googling this shit had been of no help.  
“Dean! Benny’s here!” Sam looked fine now. The eye was almost right colored. Dean had wrapped the ribs earlier and hopefully the kid would not fuck the bandages up before the morning.  
“Hey man! Wasn’t expecting you until later. It’s 6pm.”  
“Figured we could catch a dinner before going. Steaks and beer sound good?”  
“Hell yeah! Let me just check Sammy’s bandages and…”  
“Dean, they are fine! You just put them on! Just go!” Sam seemed a bit cranky.  
“Fine then! Don’t call me to come and re-do them though. You are on your own for the night.”  
“Finally! I need to get this paper done and you are not helping. Flying around the apartment and “cleaning” things should not be that loud. You really need a night out. So thank you Benny. Don’t let him home early!”

Benny drove them to a restaurant. After ordering their food, Benny started the conversation innocently enough.  
“So, have you been thinking this a while?”  
“I mean, yeah. Didn’t date anyone since coming back…just couldn’t. I guess the women no longer hold that attraction.”  
“God I feel like your fairy godmother or something. Listen, a few words of advice. Guard your drink, and don’t let anyone pressure you into stuff and…”  
“Benny I’m not a teenage girl. Stop that.”  
“Heh…seriously though. Don’t leave your drink out.”  
“Is that really a problem?”  
“Not a huge one. Until, you know, it happens. This place is safe, but making it a habit is just good practice, you know.”  
“Jesus… I have yet to put my foot in a gay bar and you are making it a habit for me”

“Don’t worry, most guys are there to just meet people. But you are “new” and will attract all kinds…”  
“I’m hardly new! 34 is not “new” anything!”  
“No dude. Newly gay, curious or whatever. It’s not a bad thing Dean. At least you will get the chance to meet up with plenty of suitors.”  
“Benny, don’t call them suitors. I ain’t a princess waiting for a prince.” Dean was starting to get nervous. He noticed the beer was already gone. He ordered a second one when their food came in. Talking shop while eating got Dean a bit more relaxed, but all that was gone the second Benny parked in front of Blackstone’s. He shouldn’t be this nervous about a bar. He had been to war. This was nothing.

But in Iraq Dean had known what was expected of him and how to fulfill those expectations. This was flying blind. If he walked closer to Benny than usual, Benny did not comment on it. Sitting at the bar felt too exposed. So Dean navigated them to a table next to the wall. Strategic spot with view of the door and the bartender. The linoleum floors seemed the only ratty thing in the place. Walls were exposed brick with black and white photographs framed here and there. The lighting was soft and furniture good quality wood. And damn, the beer was great. 

“Dean, don’t look so nervous. It’s just a normal night at a bar. And for god’s sake don’t lean so close to me. You are never going to talk to anyone, if they think we are an item”  
Dean had not noticed their proximity. He blushed a bit and dragged the chair farther from Benny’s. “Sorry… So how does this work? Do I just choose someone and go for it?”  
“Basically whatever you want. You have the option to be the one chased for once though. That can be fun you know.”  
“That what you did before Anna?”  
“Every now and then, yeah” Dean found this interesting. Benny was the traditional alpha male type and he had difficulty to imagine him being hit on. By anyone.  
“So how is that? Did you feel weird? Wait, did they actually buy you drinks?”  
“It is strange at first, but fun. And yep. Some got me drinks, some didn’t. It really just depends. Dude, why don’t I sit at the bar for a while and you can see for yourself. I can spot at least two people who might be interested in talking to you.”  
“What?! How would you know? What do I say? What do they want?”  
“Dean. Breathe. It’s just talking to guys. Just like at work. Normal stuff.”

Benny sauntered to the bar and dug out his phone. No doubt calling Anna. And a young looking man starts to approach Dean’s table. Dean tries to look anywhere else but at him. The forest green long sleeve t-shirt, messy hair and blue eyes, with goatee and stubble, stops right in front of him.  
“Hi!”  
“…hi…” Dean suspiciously stared at the guy and busied himself by taking a sip of his beer.  
“So, I’m Jack. Was that your boyfriend who just left?” Dean was thrown back by the British accent. And the straight forward question.  
“Um…no he’s just a friend”  
“With benefits?”  
“What? No. Just a friend…”  
“Do you mind if I take a seat?”  
“Um…go for it”  
“So…I’m Jack…” The guy just stared at him. “And your name would be…?”  
“Oh, right. Dean.”  
“Dean. So what do you do, if you don’t mind me asking?”  
“…work security stuff for a company…”  
“Is that a fancy way of saying “mall-cop”?”  
“What? No! Private contracting, dude.”  
“Sorry, could not resist myself there. I’m a comedian by the way.”  
“Really?”  
“Yes. “For real” as you Americans say. And I did not mean to sound like an ass there. But you are rather fine looking guy, and I get a bit nervous.”  
Dean almost choked on his beer.  
“What?!”  
“Sorry, mate. You are absolutely gorgeous and I would not resist if you decided to take me home.”  
“I…what? You would…” Holy shit! That escalated from zero to sixty too fast.  
“Was that not clear enough? I would love to have a bit fun with you in private. I’m only in town for the weekend and you are absolutely a fine looking guy I wouldn’t mind keeping warm for a few days.”  
Dean was speechless. Was this how girls felt like? Flattered and red faced and… scared? He could still see Benny at the bar. Okay. No threat of violence from the goatee guy. Jack.  
“I… Jack… I don’t know…”

Luckily Benny had spotted his panic and slit to his stool next to Dean.  
“Hey Dean. I got you a refill. Who’s this?”  
“Benny, this is Jack.”  
“Hi, Benny! Your friend here is a bit confused. I am hitting on him pretty obviously.”  
“Hah! Jack, listen. Dean is a bit shy. Your technique might be wrong man.”  
“Well, if you change your mind, Dean, I am right over there at the corner, with me mates! Have a good evening gentlemen.”  
Jack made his way to the bar and Dean took a deep breath. Benny chuckled.  
“So how was that, buddy? Exciting being hit on?”  
“That was terrifying! How do women handle this crap all the time? He went straight to business with nothing more than “My name is Jack”! Are men like this always?”  
Benny just laughed aloud.  
_________________________________________________________________________  
Dr. Crowley McLeod had the weekend off. Finally. He put out a complaint about the previous weekends ER stint. His department head was not sympathetic. Just dismissed it as an emergency situation. And nothing had really happened. There were no patient complaints. And because of that Dr. McLeod had to make all kinds of noise. It would not do that people thought he was good for ER.  
The appendices, cancer patients, and amazingly one organ donor had kept him busy for the work week. His apartment was a mess and there was no food in the fridge by Friday night. Going out would be nice. No cooking, some inane conversation with guys at the Blackstone’s. Call it an early night. The plan sounded perfect.  
His casual blazer paired with dark jeans would do. Nothing too fancy. He was not aiming to pick anyone up, so the flashier shirts stayed in the closet. Just a T-shirt. It also made him seem younger than his 43 years. 

The Blackstone’s was busy, but not packed, so Crowley slid onto the bar and ordered a burger. Might as well go all out and get a scotch afterwards. The bartender was familiar with him and made pleasant small talk while his burger was being made. The hospital cafeteria didn’t even try make things edible and just the thought of properly prepared burger had him salivating.  
A large guy sat next to him just as the burger was set on the bar. He was gruff looking, but Crowley didn’t mind. Muscular arm pulled out a phone and the man started to talk to someone. So he figured there would be no conversation with the man to be had. Especially when words like “honey” and “sweet cheeks” were uttered into the phone, Crowley tuned the man out. Until a distracted partial sentence reached his ears. “…Anna I have to go, some dude is all over Dean and he looks scared shitless…”

Dean? Could be a common name. He took a look at the table the man sat at, and lo and behold, it was a blushing Dean Winchester in the flesh. Messy hair and all with a beer in front of him. Another fine look to add for later examination.  
What was the alpha male soldier doing in a gay bar with a friend who was obviously in a relationship with someone else? Did the regular bars run out of beer? Or could Dean actually play for the home team? Or at least be a switch hitter?  
He had an in with Dean. They could talk about Sam or something. He snatched the last but of lettuce from the plate, grabbed the scotch and made his way towards the table where Dean was talking to the muscle man animatedly.

“…Are men like this always?”  
Interesting bit of random conversation. Obviously the guy did not make a decent impression. Lucky for Crowley then. He slid closer and made sure to have Dean notice him first.  
“Dr. McLeod?”  
Right. He had not told his name at the ER.  
“Just Crowley. How is Sam doing, Dean?”  
“He is almost back to normal, apart from the ribs. What are you doing here?”  
“Um… having a drink…?” Was the guy dense? This was a gay bar. Didn’t he know that? Oh. He did get red there. Kind of adorable.  
“You do know I have life outside the hospital. Fancy meeting you here though. Didn’t think this would have been your crowd.” How does that feel, mister you-can’t-possibly-be gay-you-are-a-doctor.  
“What? You thought I was into loud music, fruity drinks, and recreational drugs?”  
Touché, Dean! This is fun.  
____________________________________________________________  
Benny was impressed. This guy was confident as hell coming to the table with him there to talk to Dean. And he apparently knew Dean from somewhere. This could be good for Dean. He needed more friends. And Benny could not be the kind of friend to do everything with Dean. He was the man’s employer now. And this Crowley person seemed okay. No red flags thus far. Wait, was Dean actually flirting? At least teasing.  
“I’m Benny by the way”  
“Crowley McLeod, nice to meet you”  
The trio ordered a round of drinks. And Benny slid his to Dean. The conversation flowed nicely from army stories to funniest hospital cases. And Anna kept texting him to get home for finalizing their engagement party details. They hadn’t told anyone yet. It was going to be their thing. 

After ten, Benny started to get restless. He did not want to drag Dean home just as he was having so much fun with Crowley. He was finally opening up and even laughing. Although part of it was obviously due to the numerous drinks he had downed. Crowley seemed nice enough guy. He talked to Benny too, but he especially listened to Dean.  
When Dean slipped to the restroom, Benny started to fix up for leaving.  
“So, Crowley. I kind of need to head out. And I am Dean’s ride.”  
“Oh…and?”  
“And Dean is having a great time. I think he might like to stay. He should take a cab home whenever he wants to leave. If you could make sure he makes it into that cab, I would really appreciate that.”  
“What kind of a friend leaves Dean in a bar full of horny gays?” Crowley teased Benny  
“The kind who has a girlfriend huffing and buffing at home. And employees to dispatch in the morning. Can I count on you?”  
“Sure man. But Dean is a big boy. He can make his own way home regardless of you or me.”  
“Dude, he is quite drunk. I have not seen him like this in ages. I mean, you heard him giggle, right?”  
“That I did.” Crowley’s small smile with that comment was not lost on Benny  
“He was so nervous of coming here. I would hate to make the night end too soon. And I trust you won’t make it end badly.” Benny did not want to directly threaten Crowley. But subtext was okay. That he could explain away if need be.  
“Kneecaps, balls, and head injury et cetera if it does? I got the message quite clearly, thanks.”  
“I just don’t know you all that well. And neither does Dean. But he seems to get on with you well. And I have never seen more hilarious attempts at flirting from him…”

“Benny! What are you doing with your coat buddy?” Tipsy Dean slid to the table before Crowley could answer. “You were talking about me weren’t you? I swear it is not true Crowley. Whatever he said. Unless it was something awesome, then yes that was me.”  
Benny smiled at Dean apologetically. “Anna’s getting huffy. I have to go home. Plus I have to work in the morning unlike some people.”  
“Aww….can we stay a bit more? Let me talk to Anna. She loves me.”  
“Hey, dude. You can stay, you don’t need me here really, right?”  
“I….guess?” Dean looked a bit unsure. Time to reassure him.  
“Let me have your phone dude. Here… A number for a cab service. Use it when you want to go home. You have my number. Call if you need me. And you have your new friend here to keep you company. You will be fine. It’s just a bar.”  
“Okay… okay, I’ll have a few more drinks then. Say hi to Anna from me!”  
Benny glanced at Dean and Crowley as he was stepping out of the bar. They were smiling. And Dean looked ridiculously happy. Good decision then.  
_______________________________________________________________________  
Crowley eyed Dean and his shot of tequila. How had that man been nervous about coming here? And the flirting was really hilarious when he thought how it looked to an outsider. Being the target of it was nice though. It had been a while. And Dean was a handsome guy with that down to earth air about him. All kinds of grounded and real person with no agendas.  
“So it’s just us then. And of course the total population of Blackstone’s”  
“Yeah. Benny’s girlfriend is a bit demanding. And I haven’t had a night out in a long while”  
“So why did you bring Benny here of all places?”  
“Oh, he actually suggested it. He’s been here before and figured I would like it here.”  
“How did that conversation go? ‘I thought of a gay bar and you might like it?’”  
“Nah… Benny used to have… a thing with guys?”  
“You mean he is bi.”  
“Yeah, bi. We used to…you know in Iraq…”

Okay, so Dean definitely was into guys. And had been flirting with him all night. Well. That is a generous description of the clumsy comments and blushing. Like a too tipsy college co-ed trying to seem coy and a slut at the same time. Crowley was all for flirting. But disliked games when all parties were not on the same page. His cards would be on the table. Let Dean make what he wanted of it.  
“Oh really? Interesting. So do I have to worry you are his nasty on the side?”  
“…what? No… Wait you would be worried?” Maybe it was the alcohol making him a bit slow on the uptake. Or just not used to reading between the lines. Would make sense with military background. Direct orders and all that.  
“I have no desire to get involved with anyone who turns out to have other... suitors, or serious involvements. I am not a great ‘other guy’”  
Dean downed the tequila shot and started on the chaser, an excellent porter. Crowley kept his eyes on the man. Dean looked nervous and seemed to be calculating something. 

______________________________________________  
Oh. Oh God. Dean was being propositioned. And more elegantly than Jack had done earlier in the evening. He could still taste the tequila at the back of his tongue. Was this too soon? Then again, he had done stuff with Benny. And he kind of knew Crowley. And Crowley was really interesting and funny. Made him feel warm in a different way than the alcohol.  
Maybe he was drunk enough to try this. He used to pick up women in bars. This could be fun. Another sip of the excellent beer gave him time to get his thoughts in order. Crowley was the kind of person he would be interested in.  
“Are you propositioning me, Crowley? For real?”  
“What if I am?”  
“I might be… you know, open to… whatever…” Well that didn’t sound very confident. Dean would have to work on his delivery.  
“Relax, Dean. I am not going to drag you down an alley and demand a blowjob.”  
Oh God. Now Dean was thinking about blowjobs. And penises. And Crowley’s hands on him. Great. But still, good to know what was not on the table. His nervous giggle was fueled by alcohol.  
“Good. Good. I would have been out of my depth there…” Wait, was that too revealing? Did he want to do that with Crowley? Would the man… I don’t know… withdraw the proposition?  
“Heh… me too. I like to think I’m classier than that.”

Was this what gay guys talked about? Sex stuff? The porn never showed this part. Benny had really been a chaperone. Nothing like this came up when he was here.  
“So, what do you think of the Blackstone’s then?” Crowley suddenly changed the topic. Was that a dismissal?  
“I…uh like it. It’s like a normal bar. I mean not overtly… uh” Well shit. That came out really wrong.  
“Gay? Dean, you don’t have to sensor yourself. That’s the point of living in America in the 21st century. We have a black president and bloody legal gay marriage. It would be a bit silly to get all puritan at this point” Well that is a good point.  
“Dude, I recently spent two years in a country where being gay was a death sentence. I might be a bit slow to catch on”  
“And still you managed to get it going with your buddy Benny. I am impressed.”

Dean had to laugh at that. In the worst possible place on earth for experimenting, Dean Winchester had managed to fool around with a dude for the first time.  
“Yeah, I guess that sounds a bit ludicrous when you put it like that. In my defense, that was more about just being close to someone than an actual relationship. He was with Anna already. And before you start, she knew about it. Got off on it. And even sent a photo getting off on it.”  
“Wow. I did not expect that. She hot?”  
“Oh, insanely.”  
Dean was starting to get a bit hot and bothered by the topic.  
“You have that picture on you?”  
“Why? You bi? I don’t think she is available for anything”  
“Just curious what kind of goddess she would have to be to drag any man off you”

Dean blushed again. So this is what being hit on felt like. The knowledge of a very possible follow through made Dean’s stomach feel funny and face heat up. He made a move meant as casual to grab his beer. And completely missed the glass. That must make him seem really drunk… damn. Maybe he was.  
_____________________________________________________________________  
Dean was interesting and everything Crowley would look for in a partner. There was no awkward silences between them and the conversation was a real conversation between two people instead of a power play or a constant game. Crowley was tipsy himself, but Dean seemed even more so. At least he didn’t have to drive home. The walk was not too long. And maybe Dean would come along and keep him entertained at this ungodly hour of… eleven thirty. It wasn’t as late as it felt. Time to see if this actually went anywhere.  
“Well, Dean. It has been an absolute pleasure to see you again and in much nicer circumstances.”  
“Are you leaving already?” The poor guy looked crest fallen. So there was hope.  
“I was hoping you might also be leaving already…” Crowley leaned closer to Dean to deliver this line to emphasize the intimacy of the statement.  
“Oh! Um… Yeah. I’ll just get my tab sorted” 

Crowley watched Dean fidget at the bar and check his phone. The ass looked as good as at the hospital. And in Crowley’s private daydreams. As Dean made his way back to the table, he stumbled a bit into the unoccupied chairs. So he was drunk. But seemingly happy about it, if the grin was anything to go by.  
“So did you want to call a cab or come to see my place?”  
“I think… I think I’d like to see your place.” Dean would not look him in the eye while saying that. As if it was embarrassing. Maybe Dean had a long dry spell under his belt. Or some social anxieties. Or maybe he wasn’t out? Whatever it was, it made the admission a bit cute.

“Sounds good to me. It’s not far. We can walk, if you don’t mind the snow.” It seemed Dean had not noticed the flakes falling on him until Crowley pointed it out. Crowley had the drunken thought of just slapping Dean’s ass to get him moving. But Dean smiled and started following Crowley on the sidewalk.  
Dean stumbled again on the curb. “So your doctoring gig has been going on a long time then?”  
“Yeah. I’ve been with the department for six years now.”  
“It must be really rewarding. Helping people all the time.”  
“You help people too”  
“Some, yeah. Most of them though don’t really need it. They just want the status a personal security detail gives. Assholes,”  
“Hah. I can see that. Anyone famous on your clientele?”  
“Well if there was, I wouldn’t really know. Some ambassadors use our services. I just plan the operations. You know, tactical side.”  
“Sounds like something you would be good at. You know, with your background.”  
“Yeah. Half of us are ex-military.”

They had reached the apartment building after under half an hour of walking. The dusting of snow made the complex look nicer than it actually was.  
“So this is me. You still up for checking it out?” Better give the guy every possible out. Benny’s subtle threat was not an idle one. Crowley could tell.  
“Yeah. I mean if you still want to…”  
“Come on then. Third floor.”  
Crowley followed Dean to the stairwell. And noted the unsure steps. The man was still tipsy obviously. They had both been drinking. It was fine. He would sober up probably once they got inside and settled a bit.  
_______________________________________________________________________  
Okay. The stairs kept moving in a funny way. Dean was admittedly drunk. And entering into another man’s apartment in the middle of the night. He was fine. And damn, the apartment was nice and spacious. A bit bigger than his and the lack of clutter made it look huge in comparison.  
“So this is how the fancy people live!” Dean giggled. He could not help it.  
“I’m not that fancy, Dean”  
“Yeah, you are. All educated and doctor-y! Should be proud of yourself.”  
The warm apartment made Dean acutely aware of the effects of alcohol on him. He was loud without meaning to be. And he wanted to sit down as soon as possible. Things were pleasantly fuzzy and the feeling would be best enjoyed from a soft surface. Like the couch.  
Dean made the executive decision to take off his coat and dump it on the little bench in the foyer. Crowley smiled, or smirked. It was difficult to tell. And he also got rid of his shoes and coat. Okay. Shoes off. 

Dean carefully balanced while toeing off the suede shoes. It took him a moment to realize he had used Crowley’s shoulder for the balancing.  
“Sorry” Dean whispered at the sudden closeness. Dean noted how Crowley actually eyed his lips instead of eyes. And it was suddenly very warm and he could hear blood rushing in his ears. Crowley leaned closer and Dean could read his intent clearly. And he leaned toward Crowley slightly, initiating a kiss. Crowley’s lips felt dry and warm. The stubble teased Dean’s chin and provided more sensation than kissing a woman would. Suddenly he felt a hand on his waist and a tongue licked his lower lip. It startled him and ended the kiss. 

Okay, that was new. Crowley looked at him with a hint of concern. The touch on his waist had been somehow possessive. Women didn’t touch him like that. It made Dean’s reality tilt into a new angle. This would take some getting used to…  
“A drink?” Crowley asked, clearing his throat and taking a step back. Dean felt himself relax a bit. Drinking with Crowley would be something familiar. He’d managed to do it for several hours earlier in the evening. Although… maybe being drunk in a half stranger’s apartment at night was not the greatest idea.  
“I think I’ve had enough alcohol for tonight.” Crowley tilted his head, not unlike a dog.  
“I’ll get you a water, okay?”  
That sounded great and Dean accepted it with a nod. Dean could feel the cool air of the apartment when Crowley stepped completely away from his personal space and into the kitchen of the open plan living space. 

His next stop was in clear view. A brown leather sofa was propped in front of a fireplace. Dean sat down and wondered how this was going to proceed. Was there going to be more kissing before the main event? Crowley clearly was a dominant personality. Would he want to top? Would he notice Dean hadn’t done much before?  
He was too deep in thought to notice Crowley standing in front of him with the water.  
“Dean?”  
“Oh, thanks.” Crowley sat next to him with his own glass of water. And stared at Dean.  
“What?” Crowley seemed to be assessing him. It made him feel weird. Did he sit funny? Was there something on his face?

“We are both pretty drunk. More so than I thought we would be.”  
“Okay… and?” Really. This was the condition he had done all his previous one-night stands. The classical drunken sex with giggles and decent orgasms was to be expected, right?  
“You can’t give a reliable consent right now, Dean.”  
Wait, what did that mean? Would Crowley throw him out?

“What do you mean?”  
“I mean, it would be unfair for both of us to do something intimate right now”  
“I… you want me to leave?” Was the kiss really bad for Crowley? Did he do something unacceptably weird? God, did his breath smell rotten?  
“Oh! No, you can stay here. We just won’t, you know, get intimate”  
“Why do you want me to stay then?” 

“This was never going to be a one night stand for me. If you had taken a cab, I would have given you my number and gotten yours in exchange, hopefully. That option is still open, if you want to go home. It’s just a policy of mine. To always get an informed consent from a partner”  
Dean was unsure of what to say or do. What the hell was wrong with him? Usually hooking up was really easy. Something must have shown on his face.  
“Okay. You don’t have to decide this second. We are going to wind down and have a snack. Watch TV or something. Then you can either take the couch or share the bed with me for the night, if you decide to stay. It is up to you really.” Crowley got up and headed to the kitchen.

That sounded reasonable. He could do that. With a sheepish smile, Dean relaxed into his seat. Were his nerves so obvious? He refused to be ashamed. And in any case, Crowley had put the brakes on, not him. Being drunk was not a problem for him in the least for “getting intimate”, as Crowley had put it. Hell… that was the usual condition he was in, when doing the nasty with a girl he had just met.  
Crowley dished out cheese and crackers on a plate in the kitchen. Dean seemed nervous, but had gotten comfortable on the sofa.  
“Are you allergic to anything?” One could never be too careful these days. He did not deed to practice tracheotomy and rush to the ER tonight.  
“Nope. Why?”  
“The crackers have nuts in them.”  
_________________________________________________________________________________  
Now that sex was off the table for the night, Dean seemed more at ease. Maybe one night stands were not his ideal either. Or he had been worried about the performance aspects with the amount of alcohol consumed.  
As Crowley was setting the food on the coffee table, he remembered Benny again.  
“Dean, you should text Benny or something”  
“Why?”  
“He seemed the type to worry. And he was very adamant about getting you home tonight.”  
“I am at your home. That counts in my books.”  
“Well, up to you I guess.”  
Crowley turned on the TV and sat next to Dean casually. Far enough to make Dean work for the contact if he wanted it.  
“Did Benny say something to you to make you like this?”  
“Like what?”  
“All chivalrous, I guess”

Crowley chuckled. It was rather silly. “He might have hinted at things. But the consent stuff is my regular policy.” Crowley grabbed the remote and opened up Netflix to have something to do while Dean stared at him curiously.  
“How about a comedian for a wind down show? Do you like Louie C.K. ?” Crowley asked to break the stare.  
“Yeah. Louie’s cool.” Dean loaded a cracker with cheese and Crowley noted he scooted minutely closer to him on the sofa. Crowley started the show and relaxed as much as he could with the delectable man lounging next to him. They commented on some of the jokes. As if they had been friends for a long time. Dean didn’t seem to mind him talking over the TV show and he did not mind the loud laugh Dean let loose at particularly witty jokes. 

The show was almost over when Crowley became aware of the silence from Dean’s end of the sofa. And just as Louie was starting the last joke, a soft pressure of Dean’s head on Crowley’s shoulder got him distracted. Obviously Dean had gotten comfortable with him to be able to fall asleep. Or maybe he was just so tired he didn’t notice, who he was leaning on.  
Okay then. Time for bed. Or leaving. Depending on what Dean decided.  
Crowley nudged Deans side and got him to wake up.

“Hey, Dean. Dean, you fell asleep for a while.”  
“…wha…? Oh yeah… Just tired…”  
He looked adorably soft and disoriented.  
“Now would probably be a good time to decide if you want to stay or get a cab.” One more out never hurt anyone. Except Crowley of course, if this was the last he would see of Dean.  
“…um… Can I stay here? I really don’t feel like trekking to the other end of the city.”  
Yes! Yes, yes, absolutely!  
“Couch or bed? I can grab some sheets for the couch, if you want.” The question sounded more casual to Crowley than it really should have. At least it wasn’t completely obvious what he wanted the answer to be.  
“Honestly, any flat surface will do… Would you mind if I came to the bed? I mean, might as well save you from getting the sheets out and all that…” Dean was obviously trying to play it cool. It was adorable.

Crowley was ecstatic. In a tired way.  
“I don’t mind at all. Bathroom’s in that hallway to the left. I’m going to just clean up the kitchen”  
Dean stumbled to the bathroom and closed the door. Crowley smiled to himself as he put the crackers away and set up the coffee maker for the morning. Suddenly he wasn’t as tired as before.  
The tap was still running in the bathroom when Crowley got to the bedroom and slipped into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. Turning down the covers and dimming the lights made the bathroom light frame Dean starkly as he exited.  
“Make yourself comfortable. I sleep on the left side just so you know.”  
Crowley brushed his teeth distractedly and sneaked back to the bedroom to find Dean’s pants on the floor. Okay. No pants.  
Dean was sitting up in his bed still in his t-shirt and looked extremely tired.

Crowley slipped onto his side of the bed.  
“I might cuddle during the night, just so you know.” That sounded like a disclaimer even to Crowley’s own ears.  
“…’s fine. Benny did too…”  
Why did Dean bring Benny up now? Obviously he was tired. Time to get unconscious and hope for erection-less night. And maybe some accidental snuggling.  
Dean was out of his mind tired. The sheets were soft and smelled of fabric softener. He was so ready to just sleep. Crowley was making himself comfortable on the other side of the bed making the mattress dip and bounce.  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  
If Dean was more alert, he might have stressed about the situation much more. But as it were, the exhaustion allowed Dean to just fall on the mattress and pull the covers over himself. He laid on his back and glanced briefly at Crowley. He was turned towards Dean.  
“Good night, Dean. Let me know if you need anything. Just wake me up, I am a light sleeper anyway.”  
“Okay… g’ night…”  
As he drifted into sleep, he could still feel the covers being moved around. And then the warmth of the bed claimed Dean and his drunken mind. 

As consciousness returned, Dean felt toasty. And the sun was warming his face. Wait, his bedroom did not face the morning sun. The disorientation didn’t last long after he opened his eyes. This was not his bedroom nor was he looking at his wall. It belonged to the guy he went home with - Crowley, Sam’s doctor. And Crowley was laying on his side facing Dean, awake.  
“…’ morning...?” Well, this was awkward. Holy shit, he had spent the night with a guy. The gay thing was real now. No denying it. He didn’t feel too hung over, which was a blessing.  
“Hello.” Crowley’s voice sounded deep and gravelly. That was new. Someone with deeper voice than his in the same bed. What was the protocol for these things anyway? If this was a standard heterosexual one night stand, he would have made his excuses and slid away as soon as possible to avoid any mixed signals about a relationship.

“What time is it?”  
“Half past nine.” Crowley smiled at him. He seemed pleased. Why was that? Did they have sex last night? Dean would know, right? Maybe?  
“…did I…?” He could feel the blush travel up his face.  
“What?”  
“I don’t know. Make an ass of myself last night?” There was no way he could just ask straight about the sex.  
“Nope. We were drunk, you did drunk people stuff and fell asleep in front of the TV.”  
That did not quite answer Dean’s underlying question.  
“So we didn’t…?” He couldn’t even finish the question.  
“No. Remember how we agreed we were too drunk?”  
“Right.” That did ring a bell. It had been weird.  
“So is this how this works for you usually?”  
______________________________________________________________________  
Dean was still in his bed, so Crowley figured he wasn’t going to bolt out in panic.  
“What do you mean?”  
“The whole no sex on the first sleepover or whatever this is “  
So that was the issue. It didn’t seem like Dean had been properly up for anything more than falling asleep last night. Maybe just thrown off, based on whatever expectations he had.  
“Sure, if anyone is drunk”  
“Damn. You make me feel like an asshole about any and every one night stand I have had in my life.”  
“Not my intention. People usually imply consent and everyone is fine with it in the morning too. I just play it safe.”

“Did something… Never mind.” Ah. Of course he would go there.  
“You can ask, you know. And no nothing happened to me personally. I’ve just seen things. And known people, who would stretch the definition of consent.” Crowley didn’t go into detail about that ever. Even with his psychiatrist they never talked about it even if he had put it on the table in the first meeting. It had not come up with the stuff they had worked on yet.  
“Cool. And I appreciate it” Dean angled himself so they could face each other while talking. 

This suited Crowley just fine. A person was less likely to just leave if they were willing to lay in bed, staring at his face.  
“So how do you define consent? Just out of curiosity.” Was this a trick question?  
“Consent is the permission for me to touch you in a sexual way.” Better go with the most straight forward explanation. No need to muddle the waters. And Dean started to seem more alert and intrigued too. Which were not bad things.

“How about hugs?”  
“As long as there’s no groping” But Crowley did hope for groping.  
“Wow. That would have wrecked my teenage escapades efficiently.”  
Imagining a young Dean getting it on for the first time was unsurprisingly arousing.  
“I haven’t followed this policy forever, Dean. College was kind of wild sometimes“  
“Well that makes me feel instantly better” Was that sarcasm?

“Do you have any rules for relationships, Dean? Now that we are on the topic.” Might as well do this by the book. Super informed consent.  
“I…have not really thought about that. I guess no sleeping around is the only hard and fast rule in my book. And Benny was a special case. The desert is fucking cold, and that man is warm. I didn’t know about Anna until later”

“I understand that. Special circumstances and all.”  
“Are we having a conversation about the logistics of a relationship? Is this how the whole gay thing works?” Gay thing? As opposed to bi thing, which would be what Dean was more familiar with?  
“Might be just that I am too old to deal with unclear signals. How has it worked with you before, then? Non-verbal fumbling and what not?” And why could Crowley not just ask about the gay comment…? Fear of scaring Dean off by being too confrontational, was legitimate.

“It has not worked before actually…” Dean turned on his back to stare at the ceiling. Obvious sign of discomfort.  
“Bad relationship?”  
“…um, not bad necessarily. Just not right.”  
Why wouldn’t Dean face him when talking about past relationship? Was it embarrassing?  
______________________________________________  
Dean wasn’t sure if he should mention the relationship he was referring to was with a woman. But Crowley was so open about everything. It would probably come out at some point. And Dean really liked Crowley.  
“Actually it was a woman. Benny is the only guy I have done… stuff with” Stuff included just cuddling, hugs, and hand jobs.  
The silence was surprisingly long. Was this an issue for Crowley?  
“Oh. So that’s why…”  
“What?” Jesus, did Dean do something really stupid?  
“Explains why Benny was so damn protective.”  
Dean hadn’t noticed anything. He wasn’t paying too much attention to Benny anyway the previous night. Crowley was looking at Dean and tilting his head when Dean finally looked to him again. Did Dean just screw this up?  
“That a problem?”

“Not for me if it’s not to you. As I said, not looking to be a short time anything. If you want to play the field, I am not the guy to do that with”  
Dean recognized the out he was given. But he didn’t want it. It was weird to hash out everything this directly. Maybe the theoretical frame work was actually the best way for him to ease into this gay thing.  
______________________________________________________  
Oh my God, why did I say that? Who says no to healthy romp with an insanely good looking guy, like Dean?! Crowley wanted to get laid at some point. And scaring Dean off with this relationship stuff might prevent that. Time to amend the previous statement…  
“I mean, as long as you let me know what kind of a thing you are looking for… I can be persuaded to… hum… experiment with you and all that…” The backpedaling made him sound desperate even to himself. Great.  
“I… I think I might…like to try this with you?”  
“I would be delighted to try too.” 

Crowley let out a breath he was not aware he had held. Okay. Okay, he could work with this.  
“Just… what actually is ‘this’?” Dean asked him, seemingly embarrassed for having to bring it up.  
“Oh… I don’t know? Dating?”  
“Like dinners, movies, and what not? Like in high school? Aren’t we kinda past that kind of stuff?”  
“What? Getting to know someone new?”

“I… Well, no? That wasn’t what I meant. Aren’t we supposed to skip that kind of stalling and insecure guessing games?” That made Crowley think on younger Dean blushing away on dates and trying to open a bra. Was that supposed to make him jealous?  
“Obviously. But the getting-to-know-you –part is kind of nice. What on earth did you do with women? Just sex them up and whatever?”  
“No? Kinda? It was usually straight to the bedroom and then stuff just happened. They would either stay or go. And I would take them out, sure, and we would repeat the stuff. Lisa got me to do the domestic crap too, like stay in and make dinner… Oh shit, I sound like an asshole…” 

Dean covered his mouth with his hand in shock. Really? That tale sounded still quite normal to Crowley, based on what he knew about straight people’s relationships. And maybe that was how guys behaved when they were so deep in the closet they didn’t even know it.  
“Sounds like normal college shenanigans, Dean. Heck, that’s what I did too.”  
“With guys?”  
“Yes…? Unless you were too drunk to notice last night, I am actually gay.”

“Hardy-ha. I got that…” Dean pushed the covers off slightly. It was getting uncomfortably warm in the bed. And if Crowley stayed any longer laying this close to Dean, he would be compelled to jump the man in a rumpled T-shirt.  
Crowley got out of bed and grabbed a dressing gown, as Dean sat up and fluffed his hair up. Adorable. 

“Do you want breakfast, by the way? I am going to do eggs and toast.” He trailed to the kitchen and started getting things together. Dean had followed him in his rumbled T-shirt and last night’s pants.  
“Yeah, if it’s no hassle for you. Can I help with anything?”  
“Sure. Could you get the vegetables chopped?”  
They worked in silence to begin with. And apparently it got Dean uncomfortable enough to start talking again.  
“So are you on call all the time for ER?” What was he talking about? Oh, right. Crowley hadn’t told him ER wasn’t his usual gig.

“Actually, I don’t work for the ER. That was a shortage of staff situation. I’m part of the surgical team.”  
“Wow.” Dean had stopped chopping. Crowley turned to him in question.  
“Is that a problem?” Crowley had to smile at Dean’s expression. Equal parts disbelief and awe.  
“I…No! It’s just… I’m just a security guy. You actually save people from dying.”  
“It’s a job. I like it. And your job is important too.”

“Not really. You wouldn’t believe the assholes who hire us for the smallest reasons.”  
“They obviously think your job is important. And I’m ready for the vegetables.”  
“What? Oh, right. Here.”  
The omelets were Crowley’s best dish. Easy and fast for impossible mornings, delicious with the correct additions. And looked appealing. No opportunities wasted to impress Dean.  
“This smells great, Crowley. Thank you.”  
“Hey, you helped.”  
“Minimally. Oh god this tastes good… I could get used to this every morning.”  
Crowley smiled at that. And Dean blushed.  
__________________________________________________  
“I mean… It’s really good…”  
Why did I say that?! Gives all kinds of impressions about the whole ‘thing’ they were going to have.  
“Don’t worry, Dean. I know what you meant. Although, I am not opposed to making this for you more than once.”  
Oh. Okay. Not a big deal. There could be more morning omelets. Dean wasn’t against omelets. Would there be expectation of something in return though? He had never had to think about that. Heck, even when he lost his virginity fumbling in the bedroom of Rosie Diaz. Wait was he a virgin again? How did ‘butt stuff’ count as separate? He should google this stuff. Turns out porn did not give any applicable advice. 

“You seem to be deep in thought. Regrets?”  
“What? No. Not at all. It’s just weird… I guess. This whole actual relationship ‘thing’ is just kinda new in a way. And it’s been ages since I did the whole dating thing.”  
“Relax. We’ll play it by the ear. It’ll be like hanging around with Benny.”

Except it would be nothing like Benny. Benny didn’t make him omelets and make his stomach feel warm in a weird way. “Less platonic though, right?”  
“Yes.” Crowley smiled at him. It made Dean smile back. And the finished omelet got a slice of toast, and better coffee than Dean had at home, as follow-ups.  
Crowley was cleaning up the kitchen and Dean sat at the kitchen island observing his… lover? Didn’t sound right and implied things. Boyfriend? Sounds like high school crush… Something Sam might get away with, but not Dean at his 30+ years of age. Shit! Sam. And his ribs. Dean needed to get home. 

“Crowley? I really need to go.”  
“What? Why so suddenly?”  
“Sam’s at home. His ribs need to be re-wrapped… and it’s past ten! Where’s my phone?”  
“Hey, calm down. It’s been a week. They should be reasonably set. No harm in doing the wrap later one morning at this point.”  
Right. Crowley would know.  
“Still, I need to call him or something…”  
Crowley fished Dean’s phone from the couch and gave Dean some privacy by retreating to the bedroom. 

Dean was about to hit “call”, when it occurred to him. He would have to explain where he was to his little brother. The thought made Dean uncomfortable. They lived together. It could get really messy, if Sam didn’t take it well. So he texted a “Will be home soon” and started the hunt for his socks and button down.  
Crowley emerged from the bedroom in jeans and black sweater. He looked sharper than anyone had the right to after a night of drinking. Dean felt rumbled and probably smelled less than fresh.  
“So… I need to go… I guess this is it…”

“Do you want a ride home? I’m heading to the store anyway.”  
That sounded nice. Especially since he didn’t really want to leave yet. Half an hour or so more time with Crowley would prolong the undoubtedly awkward goodbye.  
“If that’s not a hassle for you, sure.”  
He observed Crowley get shopping bags and his coat on. Things looked a bit different in the daylight. Crowley had more stubble than he remembered from last night. He looked a bit older than Dean. For some reason that made him more attractive. 

The snow still covered the apartment parking lot. And they had to brush down Crowley’s car, an unimpressive Honda SUV.  
“Man, your car is bland.”  
“Heh…I guess we are over then.” Crowley laughed. Obviously not offended. So he didn’t really care about the car too much. “What do you drive then, pray tell?”  
“My baby is a 76 Impala. She purrs perfectly and looks much classier than this…whatever it is.”  
“It’s a car, Dean.”  
“Exactly! This is just a car! My baby is special…”  
“So do I get to meet this special baby some time?”  
“Sure, I’ll bring her over… sometime?”  
“ Sounds good.” Crowley drove unhurriedly to the address Dean gave him. And it gave Dean the chance to really look at the man. 

“How old are you, Crowley?” Shit, he wasn’t supposed to say that aloud! “I mean…”  
“I’ll turn forty this year” Crowley answered before Dean had the chance to back pedal. Crowley glanced at him and smirked a bit. Dean felt a blush color his face.  
“I’m not ashamed of my age. And I take it you’re not a spring chicken either. At this point it is just numbers.”  
“I know…I was just curious. I’m 32. Just so you know. “  
“Well good to know, Dean.”

Wrinkles appeared at the corners of Crowley’s eyes when he laughed. Just like Dean. It would be interesting to ‘date’ a guy. Maybe he didn’t have to wait up for hours for Crowley to get ready for going somewhere. And the whole debacle with the toilet seat would be a non-issue.  
Sooner than he wanted to, they were in front of Dean’s apartment. The curtains were still closed. So maybe Sam was taking it easy. Dean turned to Crowley in an attempt to say goodbye.  
“Give me your phone, Dean.”

“Huh?” That was weird. Fishing out the device from his back pocket, Dean observed Crowley smiling.  
“Okay, here is my number” Crowley actually took a picture of himself to go with the number. “This way you won’t forget what I look like in the stark light of the morning.”  
“Oh! Yeah, I should give mine to you too…”  
_________________________________________________________________  
It was like Dean expected him to steal his phone, or something. The picture was a cheesy thing to add. But it might persuade Dean to call him. Not because Crowley was handsome or anything. Average at the best. But giving a reminder was good marketing in any case.  
“Just give me a call, and I’ll get the number.” Better to leave the ball in Dean’s court. 

And then his phone vibrated in his pocket. Dean was grinning. He had immediately called Crowley to do just that. Okay, at least he was still on board for the relationship thing. Crowley could not contain a smile.  
“So, busy weekend ahead?”  
Was Dean trying to ask him out already?  
“Not really. I have both days off. Well, I’m on call tomorrow, but it’s just normal stuff. Shopping and what not.”  
“Cool. So I should probably go and check on Sam…”

Well that would not leave adequately good impression. So Crowley leaned towards Dean and projected pretty clearly he wanted a kiss by flicking his eyes to Deans lips. Dean just stared at him. Well fuck it. And he dove in. Just a short kiss, which he had planned on, changed into a long one with a bit of tongue as Dean closed his eyes and kissed him back with enthusiasm.  
___________________________________________________________  
Oh wow. Kissing was nice. Really nice. Dean leaned into the kiss and could feel Crowley’s stubble on his face. That was odd. It was the second time they kissed. So it wasn’t as big of a shock to feel the masculine hand on his shoulder. It still felt possessive. And he liked it. Crowley’s tongue swiped at his lower lip and it felt more erotic than it should. Crowley ended the kiss and held Dean’s cheek for a second before turning back to the steering wheel. That was a weird gesture. But felt nice. 

“Okay?”  
Was he okay? Maybe? His cheeks were hot. And he kinda wanted to try that again. But it was obviously time to let Crowley go. “Yeah…”  
“Well, I hope you had a good time. And give me a call or something if you want to. You have my number.”  
“Yeah, I had a good time. Thanks for letting me stay.”  
“Hey, that was absolutely my pleasure, Dean.”  
Dean opened the door and climbed out of the SUV. He waved as the vehicle disappeared at the end of the street.

And thus began Dean’s short walk of shame to the apartment. Once he got inside the apartment, it was clear Sam was up and about. He could hear dishes clinking from the hallway leading to kitchen.  
“I’m home Sam! Time to get you wrapped up again!” Maybe the task would distract Sam from the fact Dean had not come home at all.  
Turns out that was wistful thinking. While he was tugging the bandages around his little brother’s mid-section, Sam decided it was the perfect time for a chat.  
“You get laid?”  
“What? No…”  
“You were out all night! Did you sleep it off at Benny’s?”

Answering ‘no’ would give more questions. And ‘yes’ was unlikely to hold the test of time, if Benny ever saw Sam again. Which was a given.  
“Nah, stayed at a friend’s place.” Crowley was a friend kind of. Boyfriend?  
“Whatever you say, Dean. Hey do you want to get some breakfast?”  
“Sorry bro, already had some. How does your side feel? Tight enough?”  
“It’s fine. Doesn’t really hurt anymore unless I bend down”  
“Good… good.”

“So you went out like the first time since getting back from Iraq. How was that?”  
“It was good. Takes some time to get used to. But still. Good.”  
“Uhu. And why didn’t you get home last night? I saw a strange car outside dropping you off. That was not Benny”  
“I… it was my friend. I stayed with them for the night. No big deal.”  
“One night stand? Way to go Dean!” 

Well that was hopefully not true. And it was something different entirely with Crowley. Sleepover was probably a better term. It must have shown on Dean’s face that he didn’t appreciate the comment at all.  
“Okay. I’ll back off. None of my business. Unless the ‘friend’ is a hooker and you might get arrested. In which case I would kill you slowly and painfully for making me represent a delinquent before even getting an internship.”  
“Duly noted”  
“Speaking of education, I have to get going with this essay thing. So I’ll see you after I get back home from the library. Don’t wait up to eat dinner. It’s a long one.”

Great. No Sammy for the day. Normally that would have meant a couple of beers and a football game. Today though, Dean was a bit hungover still. And football didn’t seem like an interesting option. He had so much on his mind.  
Research was required for the whole gay thing now. Why didn’t porn include the before-part of the sex? It would have been so much easier to just watch it and make note of important bits. 

Internet turned out to be a mixed bag. Mostly dating advice for people who had already had sex and wanted some more of it. Or teenagers trying it all out for the first time.  
As far as he could tell, Crowley had been the perfect gentleman by any standards. And clearly interested. Dean scrolled his phone and landed on Crowley’s picture. It was one of those awkward selfies, but with a real smile. He wanted to talk to Crowley more. Get to know him more. And maybe kiss him a bit more. And do other stuff. Just the steps there were elusive. 

Maybe Benny knew how this would work? It was just embarrassing to ask these things from his friend. But what choice did he have exactly?  
Dean decided to stress about it in the shower. At least something would get done that way, instead of just sitting around in yesterday’s clothes. His T-shirt still smelled a bit of Crowley’s sheets. And the omelet. There was a splatter of tomato and something else on the hem. Great. If Dean took one last sniff of the shirt before designating it for wash, it was no-ones business but his own


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out to be longer than expected. The details just added up. Promise to move the story forward in the fluffiness more swiftly in the next chapter...

It took until 5pm for Dean’s desperation to peak and for him to text Benny and beg to meet up with him. He didn’t even care Anna would be there. He just needed some help in figuring this dating thing out. So he took a drive in the rush hour traffic to get to Benny’s and Anna’s place. 

Anna opens the front door and lets Dean in along with some snow inside. They have some small talk and Pizza is brought to the table for dinner. Finally Benny opens the conversation Dean really needs to have.  
“Hey! How was last night?”  
How was last night best explained? No sex, but something else?  
“Um… I kinda had a sleepover or something with Crowley…” Dean could feel his face warming up. Sounded like he was a teenage girl. The vision of him and Crowley playing spin the bottle and gossiping in their pajamas was laughable.  
“You what? One night stand? On your first night out?” Benny had stopped eating and was scrutinizing Dean now. Anna looked confused.  
“It wasn’t like that, Benny. Not exactly”  
“Dude, I’m not judging, just surprised”  
“It was literally a sleepover. We watched TV, slept, and had breakfast…”  
“Wow… So you guys are just friends then?”  
“No! He… I think, he was planning to, you know, do stuff with me. But then he changed his mind.”  
“He saw you in a well-lit room and decided ‘nope, too ugly’?”  
“No! He said we were too drunk… Consent and all that… “. Benny looked at him all funny. 

“Really?! Was he ugly? Oh! Or convicted criminal?” Anna chimed in with the most left field guesses.  
“No! God, he’s a doctor! They do background checks at hospitals! And for your knowledge, Anna, he is not ugly.” Dean dug out his phone to show the evidence.  
“A doctor. Nicely played Dean… And indeed he is not hideous. Just a bit older than you, right?”  
“Yeah, he’s forty. But that’s not all that old, right?” Just like eight years. Heck, Anna was six years Benny’s junior. They would have no leg to stand on.  
“So you had a sleepover with a doctor. And nothing sexual happened. You sure it is a dude?”  
“Benny! Yes, I’m sure! God! And we did kiss…”  
“So he honored your virtue?”  
“Yeah? I guess. Apparently too drunk to give an acceptable consent, or something? Is this how gay relationships work? Is consent really a huge deal? And I mean explicit, verbal ‘I consent to fucking with you’ and not the usual non-verbal stuff? Is this same sort of issue as ‘keep an eye on your drink’?”

“Dude, this might just be a personal thing with this guy. Usually it’s the same as with straight people really. At least in my experience.”  
Well that wasn’t helpful. Why did he get involved with a peculiar guy with non-standard behavioral patterns? Despair must have shown on his face and Benny tried to jump in to reassure him.  
“Dean, it seems like you have met the only gentlemanly gay in the area. You have a thing with a unicorn, dear. Savor it.”  
“How does one ‘savor’ a situation where they are completely out of the loop and have no clue what to do? Anna, any ideas? You must have dated some gentlemen before Benny snatched you.”

Anna laughed.  
“What? I’m not gentleman enough?”  
“Darling, you are just the right amount of gentleman for me, Benny. And yes I have dated a few prudish religious guys, if that is of any relevance.”  
Was it? Dean had no idea. So he just made a gesture for Anna to continue. He was way past embarrassed by now. And dammit, he wanted something out of all this awkwardness.  
“Well the whole thing started off in a church. Nothing too exciting. We did go on normal dates, but after a while he started to take me on long rides in the countryside. You know how these things go. Silent night and a secluded area… And he actually asked my permission for everything. Kissing, touching…anything.”  
This sounded like a similar situation. 

“So how did that work out? Logistically I mean.”  
“As in who asked who? In the end I asked him to take my virginity.”  
Benny choked on his beer.  
“You never told me! How old were you, dear?”  
“Seventeen, Benny. And no need to try and find him to avenge any wrong doings. He was very thoughtful and sweet. And we broke up when I left for college. You don’t have to worry!”  
“So why do you think he did all that asking? Something going on at his home?”  
“I have no clue. But his mother was super strict. That might have at least contributed.”  
“And the whole dating thing just progressed to that slowly? Or was it zero to sixty kind of thing?”  
“Dean, that’s a very personal question you are asking from my fiancé…”  
“Benny, relax! You know I don’t… Wait. What did you say?”  
Anna just smiled. And Benny looked at her apologetically. 

“Did you…?”  
“Yeah.”  
“So you are going to…?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Congratulations man! Anna, you have way better poker face than Benny. You should be in charge of the gambling in this relationship.”  
So that’s why Benny left Blackstone’s so early. Maybe he proposed? Not very romantic even on Dean’s cynical standards.  
“So how did it go down?”  
“On that holiday few weeks ago. To New Orleans. Thanks for taking over the management stuff for that by the way”  
“Jesus! And you have been keeping it to yourselves all this time. Wait, so no ring?”  
“Well I don’t wear it for work anyway. And we didn’t want it to be a big deal. And we wanted to have some time to plan for the engagement party ourselves. You know how parents can be. Especially my mother would have hijacked the whole thing…”  
Well that kind of explains it. Benny was going to get married now. 

“You have been dating for like three years, so it was kind of time. It’s not like Benny is getting any prettier”  
“Hey, man! I am plenty pretty! Anna, defend your fiancé”  
“Hah! He is the prettiest Benny I have seen, Dean”  
“What does that mean? Prettiest Benny… I shall be the fairest of them all. Do I need to poison Dean’s apples or something?”  
Anna dissolved into giggles at that. And Dean started to feel like a third wheel. And Benny apparently noticed, and offered him the out he needed.

“Man, just spend some time with this guy. He seemed like a great person. These things are really personal for everyone and you can’t follow a pattern from your past relationships.”  
Benny was right. Even if Dean wanted it to be not true. He put on his coat and got up from the table. He looked outside and noted how dark it was.  
“Well. Thanks for nothing Benny. And thank you, Anna for at least trying. Congratulations and good night, future Mr. and Mrs. Milowitch!”  
“Speaking of which… We are having the engagement party next Saturday. Feel free to bring Crowley.” Benny looked so hopeful and excited.  
“Nah… too early, don’t you think?” Technically they had had one date… or sleepover, whatever.  
“Maybe. But you are coming, right”  
“Absolutely, dude!”

Dean was opening the front door to his apartment, when his phone buzzed. Did he leave something at Benny’s?  
Nope. Crowley.  
‘How was your day? Had fun last night/ this morning. Would you care for a proper date?’  
Wow. He must have been too concentrated on the phone. Suddenly he heard Sam’s voice surprisingly close to his ear.  
“Are you just going to stand there all night? At least close the door, will you?”  
Right.  
________________________________________________________  
Did Dean get his message? Or was he busy? Did he go to bed early?  
Crowley was getting antsy. And for that, he felt like a kid. It should not matter this much. Dean would answer when he wanted to. Or not. The ball was in his court. But Crowley was invested now. It had taken an hour to come up with the message and edit it to suitable simplicity and appearance of relaxed and confident man.  
Crowley had done distracted shopping. And based the decisions at the grocery store on things he imagined Dean might like. The huge carton of eggs was an overkill. Unless Dean stayed for breakfast every day and had omelets for dinner too. His cholesterol would hit all time high, if he had to consume all of the eggs himself.  
What if Dean had deleted his number already? Crowley should have slept with the guy when he still had the chance. He imagined morning sex with Dean would have been glorious. But something in Dean’s body language had warned him off. Made him wonder what he had done with Benny. Crowley was acutely aware of the lack of detail in Dean’s description on their army thing. 

Trying not to imagine those two going at it all sweaty in a tent – equally arousing and jealousy inducing image. Maybe Dean would spill that later. If he only answered the text. He should have just called to get it over with. But texting seemed less intrusive. And offered at least a false hope, unlike direct questions on the phone.  
The ping of his phone was exciting as well as terrifying.  
‘I’m up for it. When?’  
Okay. He could work with that.  
‘How is Thursday? I work next weekend.’  
‘Okay’  
Wait…that is it? Man of few words. Crowley started to put a late night snack together and was about to settle down with a glass of wine when his phone buzzed again. A phone call from Dean. 

“Second thoughts?” Better to get to the point before starting on the wine.  
“What? No…”  
“In that case, great to hear from you, Dean”  
“I just… What are we doing?”  
“Um… We had this talk when you were here, didn’t we?”  
“No, I mean, what are we doing on Thursday?”  
“Oh! Dinner? At the steak place up on Main Street. I could pick you up around six.”  
“No.” Crowley had gotten apparently the wrong idea on food front. He could have sworn Dean was a steak man.

“You don’t like steaks?”  
“Love ‘em. I’m just not sitting in your bland car more than I need to. I’ll pick you up on my baby.”  
Oh. So not wrong on the food. Just unaware of the obsession with cars. Crowley could deal with that.  
“Okay. Looking forward to seeing this magical creature.”  
“She is awesome. Sorry for disturbing your night. I’m just shit at texting”  
“No problem! Feel free to call any time, Dean. And we can practice the texting…”  
“Well, I’ll let you go. Good night, Crowley.”  
“Good night, Dean.”

When Crowley was about to end the call, a faint voice from the other end drifted to his ears. ‘... that your girlfriend, D…’ Oh, that is interesting. Must have been the brother. So he wasn’t out. At least to his family. Benny obviously knew and approved, so Dean did have some sort of support and wasn’t against people knowing as he was willing to frequent Blackstone’s in the city he lived in.

The wine was glorious. The cheese and crackers balanced together nicely. And the evening was almost perfect. If only Dean was there to share the wine. The bed sheets didn’t quite smell like they usually did on the right side. Crowley found it delightful.  
____________________________________________________________  
Dean was finishing up a plan for their newest client on Tuesday afternoon, when Benny dropped a sandwich on his desk. The guy needed a break. And Benny was dying to know more about the whole relationship thing Dean seemed to be getting into. Saturday talk had been very informative, but Dean had seemed panicky and had possibly kept most of his more interesting cards close to his chest with Anna there.

“Time for lunch! I’m buying. Well, I bought. Haven’t seen you since Saturday.”  
“I was busy with Sam. And changing some parts on baby.” True? Or half true?  
“You still good for Saturday?” Anna would kill him if Dean didn’t appear. Presumably as a protective measure to give her an out from conversations with her insane family.  
“Should be yeah”  
“Sorry to cock block you with that…”  
“No! You are not… I’m not… He’s working the weekend shift.” The flush looked funny on Dean.  
“Okay. So still thinking of taking it slow?”  
“What? I met the guy like three days ago. How fast do you expect these things to go?!”  
“Well, sometimes smitten people tend to spend all their time together whenever they can.”  
“I am not smitten! Or a 16-year-old girl for that matter. I am an adult with stuff to do, and so is he…”

“So I have just imagined you looking at his picture on your phone every hour since Monday?”  
“Could be I’m waiting for Sam to call. You can’t possibly know what I was looking at!”  
“Oh come on! You get this tiny smirk on. And the window behind you reflects everything nicely. There are no secrets here. And I thought you were the best strategist I had here. You basically wanted me to know what you were looking at…” Benny could have gone on for a while, but Dean seemed mortified.  
“Fine! We text. Happy?” Not a 16-year-old girl….right.  
“Extremely. It is great you are getting along.”  
“Yeah. We… there’s a date on Thursday.”  
“That’s nice. Where are you going.”  
“Out for steaks”  
“Sounds like fun… And…?”  
“What?” God, this was like pulling teeth.

“You brought Thursday up. You never bring stuff up for shits and giggles, Dean.”  
Dean seemed to avoid Benny’s eyes. Then he checked that no-one else was in the office area.  
“What do I wear?”  
“Excuse me?”  
“What the hell do I wear, Benny? He’s gay.”  
“And you are not exactly straight… What’s the problem?”  
“He might think I’m a slob if I just wore the same stuff I had on for Blackstone’s.”  
“Wait... You are asking me what to wear? Have you seen me? Do I look like a fashionista here?”  
“No. I need a second opinion, Benny.”  
“Just wear what you are comfortable in”  
“I don’t think they serve to shirtless people in sweats.”  
“So just wear a different shirt with whatever you had on Friday. If you really feel like you need to dress up, just put on a tie or something.” It was kind of adorable. The whole first date jitters. 

They ate the rest of the sandwiches going over the plans Dean had put together. And Benny managed to see an incoming text from Crowley before Dean swiped his phone into his pocket with a fresh blush on his cheeks. The ‘What are you up to Mr. Security?’ was enough for Benny to extrapolate the types of texts they sent during the day.  
He was happy for Dean. This Crowley character seemed nice based on his impression at the Blackstone’s. If they were going slowly, it might turn into something serious. Which would be good for Dean. Benny knew some of Dean’s romantic history to be bland, and seemingly going through motions without real emotions. This thing could be something healthier. 

In the army Benny had gotten an instant gay vibe from their group’s sniper. And he had been correct on his assumption. In the beginning the clumsy hand jobs had glued him onto Dean’s inexperience. And the cuddling was nice for him, but it seemed to really make a difference for Dean’s performance on the field. Which told Benny Dean and really needed the comfort. He wasn’t entirely sure if it had something to do with the war zone or something deeper Dean dragged with him from home all the way to Iraq. 

If someone deserved a bit of romancing, it was Dean. Someone with patience would be a nice first post war relationship for his friend. It didn’t really matter if this thing with Crowley was a short fling or a longer thing. Dean just needed to get to his comfort zone with guys. After rather spotty history with women for such a long time, it might take a while for the man to get used to it. And Benny was determined to see Dean happy. He owed the guy his life.  
_______________________________________________________  
Thursday dragged on with Crowley stuck in surgery for the whole morning. His paperwork was piling up in his office and he really didn’t want to stay late to finish it all. But apparently one could not refuse an emergency appendectomy because of an impending date.  
His office was a safe haven after dealing with nurses and the patient’s wife for half an hour after un-scrubbing. His phone was blinking on the desk with a new text message awaiting.  
‘Should I wear a tie?’ Dean.  
‘Not unless you want to.’  
‘No tie. Thanks!’

They had been texting in the evenings. Just checking in on each other. Subtle flirting and jokes mostly. Crowley was flattered that Dean seemed to trust him with bits of personal information. Like the fact that he didn’t care for oranges, preferred sweatpants over other clothing, and liked to sing in the car.  
As he finished the latest paperwork, Crowley started to curse his work schedule. The weekend would have been perfect for a little longer date. Maybe an overnight stay with Dean. Instead he was stuck with a dinner date on a Thursday and an early Friday medical board meeting. 

Dean’s obvious inexperience fascinated Crowley. Not that his own experience was anything to brag about. Well, the stuff in college had been a barrel of fun at the time. But his last breakup with Chad had been less than amicable, and it had been almost a year ago. He was getting too old for chasing people in bars and other social gatherings. Dean was mature enough and seemed to avoid the clubbing scene. Maybe the inexperienced man would be a perfect fit with both maturity of a real adult and the excitement for a new relationship.

The drive to his apartment felt slower than it probably was. Every asshole with a license to drive apparently decided to be on the road and taking their sweet time. Having Dean pick him up instead of having to do the driving himself was a welcome change. Chad - and now that he thought about it - everyone else he had dated in the past four years, had assumed Crowley would drive. Was that about control on his side? Or did his past dates expect him to drive, because he was a doctor and in a sort of position of authority? He would have to ask his psychiatrist if the issue came up. 

Putting on his nicer gray khakis and black sweater over a button-up shirt after a quick shower was all he had time for, before there was a knock on his front door. Opening the door was like unwrapping a present. Dean stood on the other side with a nervous expression on his face, hands in pockets.  
“You’re early! Come on in.”  
“I know… Couldn’t sit in the car any longer…”  
As Dean started to go around Crowley to the apartment, Crowley slid his arm around Dean’s waist and leaned on the hallway wall. The move brought Dean with him and their faces close together.  
“Good to see you, Dean.” A proper ‘hello’ was in order here. So Crowley slowly leaned closer to Dean with the universal ‘I-really-want-to-kiss-you-can-I-please-please-please’ look on his face. He could feel Dean’s tense muscles relax slowly and when his eyes closed, Crowley snaked his free arm around Dean’s neck and went for a kiss. And it was as delightful as it had been last weekend. 

He released Dean and ended the kiss with one last peck on the lips.  
“…uh. That was…nice. Good to know you still like me…”  
“I missed you. I wanted to have a refresher. Problem?”  
“No! No, just not used to this, I guess.”  
Dean’s small smile reassured Crowley.  
“I didn’t mean to freak you out.”  
“You didn’t! Really! I was about to do that anyway… maybe after getting completely inside the apartment.”  
Right. Crowley was still leaning on the door frame with the door open.  
“Sorry. You look too good to postpone a good ‘hello’.”  
____________________________________________________________  
Dean’s face was probably red like a baboon’s ass in heat. Crowley seemed to be the cause of this reaction too often for Dean to dismiss it. He was indeed the ‘blushing virgin’, if ‘butt-stuff’ counted as separate. That was still not clear. Porn hinted a ‘yes’ with fetishized scenarios, but Benny had treated it as a non-issue in Iraq.  
“Well… Hello.”  
“Indeed. Just give me a minute and I’ll put some shoes on.”

Okay. The moment of truth. How long was Crowley’s ‘minute’? Dean just nodded and prepared for a lengthy wait. But before he had the time to start fiddling with his sleeves and shuffling his feet, Crowley appeared from his bedroom with leather shoes on and a sports jacket in hand.  
“Where did you park?” Holy shit. That was fast. This was awesome. Why hadn’t he dated guys earlier?  
“Um… just on the street.”  
“Excellent. Shall we?”  
“Yeah, let’s get some steaks.”

They stepped outside to the cooling night air and fresh dusting of snow. Baby was in a great shape and Dean swelled with pride when Crowley whistled and complimented his car. Dean had washed it just for the occasion the previous night.  
The drive to the restaurant was quiet. Dean noticed Crowley watching him.  
“Is there something on my face?”  
“No. I’m just curious. You seem content. Is it the car?”

Dean really looked at Crowley at the next traffic light before answering. The guy seemed really genuine. And didn’t look like he was aiming to mock him.  
“I like driving my baby, yeah. And you know… We are going out.”  
“So you haven’t gone out lately?”  
“No. It didn’t feel like a priority. And I was still getting used to the new job.”  
Dean didn’t mention the underlying real reason: sexual identity crisis. Crowley knew he hadn’t been with other guys apart from Benny. He was a smart man. He could figure it out, if he wanted to. Probably already had.

The restaurant was thankfully nothing too fancy. Dean had scouted the location beforehand. No harm in being prepared. He knew what he wanted to try, where the bathrooms were and what kind of beers were on tap. It made him more relaxed. At least as long as he didn’t dwell on the fact that he had to fucking scout the place out. If he did dwell on things like that, he would start to worry about his mental health more than he already did.  
The table at the window was dimly lit and gave the illusion of privacy. Their waiter, ‘Timothy’, probably smelled money and seemed overtly polite taking their orders with huge smiles all around. 

“So how do you feel about this whole dating a guy thing now?”  
Wow. Crowley apparently didn’t believe in small talk or aimless chat.  
“I am all for it. Isn’t it kind of obvious? And damn, when you say it’ll be a minute, it really is going to be a minute.” Crowley laughed aloud at that. It made the crow’s feet at the corner of his eyes show.  
“Well if that is all it takes to impress you, I swear you are going to love this.”  
“What?”  
“I will not drag you shopping and make you hold my non-existent handbag.”

Now it was Dean’s turn to laugh. It was a bit ridiculous. But at the same time it really made him think about the differences he might actually enjoy about dating Crowley compared to a woman. Was it unfair to compare though? As long as he didn’t bring it up much, it should be fine.  
“Did you ever go out with women?” Two could play the no-chitchat-game.  
“I did when I was much younger. Not my cup of tea. Don’t worry though. I have a working knowledge on both sexes. In case you were worried I would be insensitive to your… blunders”  
“Oh… So you know my… experience hasn’t been extensive? Did Benny talk to you?”  
“No. You did. You were drunk.”

“Okay. Remind me to not get shitfaced ever again.”  
“Why? It’s good to know that kind of stuff. Helps us make things comfortable for both of us. Besides, I hate guessing.”  
“That I did get. The whole consent thing… No-one has ever asked before.”  
“Isn’t that sad? One would think the open minded attitude to sex would have encouraged that kind of stuff…”  
Maybe it was. Dean hadn’t thought about it before. Maybe women had more thoughts about that. He should ask Anna.  
_________________________________________________  
Crowley enjoyed the conversation. It kept him on his toes. And they had not talked about his job. For some reason his past dates had insisted on going on and on about the fabulous career and interesting cases he must have worked on. Dean seemed actually interested in him as a person instead of just a doctor. Their conversation flowed nicely. And it wasn’t dull chatter about weather and the food they were eating. Even if it was a great meal.  
They had finished the meal and the waiter with a too wide smile was trying to tempt Dean with the dessert options. Crowley was not impressed by the not-so-subtle flirting from ‘Timothy’.

“Would you like to stop by at my place for coffee instead of staying here?” No harm in making sure ‘Timothy’ understood Dean was on a date with him. In any case the tip would be less than 15%.  
“Sure. Well get the check, thanks.”  
As the waiter scurried away, Crowley saw Dean biting his lip nervously and sneaking glances at Crowley. Oh. He thought it was ‘coffee’ and not just a cup of coffee. Before he had the chance to reassure Dean nothing of the sort was going on, ‘Timothy’ was back with a decidedly smaller smile. He put the check in front of Dean. And Crowley grabbed it before Dean could even think about it.  
“I chose the place, I pay the check. You can do it the next time, Dean.” Please don’t fight me about this… It would not do to have Timothy’s hopes rise again. Thankfully Dean seemed to be distracted enough for him to just slide his card in the holder and onto Timothy’s clammy hand. 

When they were alone again, Crowley leaned towards Dean to deliver his reassuring message.  
“Dean. Coffee is just a coffee.”  
“I knew that” No he didn’t. And the relaxing of Dean’s shoulders at the comment gave him away.  
“Well good. Wouldn’t wasn’t you to have the wrong idea or anything. Timothy there though could do with some wrong ideas as he already has had quite a few of his own”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You honestly didn’t notice?”  
“Did he spit in our food or something?”  
“Dean. He was flirting with you”  
“No he wasn’t. Waiters just seem nice because they want big tips”  
“Really? Are they always like this around you so you don’t know the difference?”  
“Like what? I saw nothing out of ordinary.”  
__________________________________________________________________  
Dean was a bit embarrassed to say he didn’t notice the waiter’s behavior. Mainly because he was only paying attention to Crowley. The guy was interesting. Dean liked how Crowley would squint his eyes when Dean was telling him something he wasn’t too sure about was true. And how Crowley’s eyes would inspect each bite of the steak he took onto his fork. As if the visual of the meat brought something more to the experience.  
“Dean. Timothy here has been flirting with you shamelessly”  
“No he hasn’t. Maybe he’s been just more eager than normal. It is a service industry where manners matter.”  
“Exactly. And these are not the manners that get him good tips. I can prove it. I bet he tries to give you his number.”  
“You’re on. Seriously. Absurd.” Crowley’s smile widened at that.

“Well look at this fine piece of evidence here Dean” Crowley dug out the customer copy of their check. “Let me turn around this little piece of paper Timothy planted in front of you just a few minutes ago. And see this little set of numbers here…”  
Oh dear God. There was a phone number written on the back of the receipt along with a little message.  
“’Coffee tonight? Call any time… Timothy.’ Shit” Well that was a surprise. Wait a minute. Had this happened before? He never looked at his receipts.  
“Quite right. You understand why Timothy’s tip is going to be a bit of a disappointment”  
“Totally…” Who had the nerve to try and pick up a person when they were obviously on a date? Wait did this not look like a date?

Timothy sauntered back to their table with Crowley’s credit card, and if Dean stared at the guy a bit too long, it was because he still couldn’t believe this was happening. They were walking to the car when a thought came to Dean.  
“You wanted me to come for a coffee for real? Or was that just a show for ‘Timothy’s’ benefit?”  
“I really actually would love to have you over for a coffee. And only coffee. I have to work in the morning. If not for that, we could have had the ‘coffee’ too.”  
Well that was kind of unnerving. Dean knew there were expectations and all that. Especially after the hello-kiss, he knew Crowley was interested in a physical interaction of some sort. Maybe it was good to have just a coffee.  
“Sounds good. I happen to remember you make excellent coffee.” And it had been a good cup of coffee on that Saturday morning. 

They drove in silence again. And as Dean was parking the car, he felt less on edge than at the restaurant. Driving always made him calm down. They settled in the kitchen and Crowley started prepping the coffee with his complicated coffee maker.  
“Sorry I don’t have decaf. Just a side effect of medical school. Huge tolerance for caffeine.”  
“I don’t mind. Same problem with me. Caffeine tablets are the devils drug. But they do keep you up until dawn and then some during night watch.” The smell of coffee was reassuringly normal. Crowley with his rolled up sleeves and mussed hair was even more attractive than the version, with everything in its proper place, in the restaurant had been.  
“There you go. Cream?”  
“Just sugar, thanks.”

“Didn’t take you for a sugar kind of guy” Crowley was obviously teasing him.  
“Well I have sides you haven’t seen, Crowley” Dean hoped his smirk was just a little bit flirty.  
“Oh I bet there are all kinds of sides to you…” Oh that was a flirt. And that smile with a tilted head. Dean had never felt more like a tasty treat dangled in front of a cat. This was real flirting. And it was supposedly just a coffee. Made one wonder what it would be like to have the ‘coffee’ option.  
“Well… You might find out one day” Two could play this game.  
“I would like that someday, indeed.” They sipped at their coffees and just smiled. Obviously they were both happy about the current situation. Dean felt comfortable and flattered. Hopefully it showed. 

The coffee and a bit of chat ended up being the best part of the night. It was almost ten, when Dean started to gather himself in preparation to leave. He put his twice filled cup on the kitchen table and got up. Crowley did the same and took the cups to the sink.  
“Well it has been the best date I have had in years, Crowley. Thank you for taking me.”  
“Dean. You haven’t had a real date in years.” Crowley laughed.  
Right. That was true. Iraq didn’t count. Benny didn’t do dates, and where would they have gone? To sample the local dishes with rifles on the ready?  
“Still. It has been really nice.”  
“Too bad I have work in the morning. I swear they schedule the surgeries for 6am just to annoy me.”

Dean put his coat on and turned to Crowley to say goodbye. And it felt right to step into Crowley’s personal space and tilt his head for a kiss. Dean wanted to touch the man and didn’t know where to put his hands. They hovered over Crowley’s shoulders for a bit. And then traveled to the cheeks and the stubble. It was an interesting contrast to the soft and moist lips Dean was mapping. A bit prickly. He had to end the kiss earlier than he wanted to. If they continued like that, he might do something about the hard-on in his pants right then and there. When Dean started to take a step back, he noticed Crowley had put his hands on Dean’s waist. Funny how that didn’t register earlier.  
“Well. Have a good night Dean. I can’t wait to do this again.”  
“Me too…” Dean didn’t want to really leave. A thought came to him. “Hand me your phone. Crowley”

The man smiled and gave the thing to Dean without question. Dean opened the camera and proceeded to take a picture of himself. The lighting in the hallway was crappy. Crowley deserved better and angling the phone was in order. Just as he pressed the button to take a picture, Crowley’s lips materialized on his cheek. He was still stumped and didn’t react to Crowley taking the phone from him.  
“Now that is a shot I needed. The look on your face. Priceless.” Dean peaked at the photo. It was indeed a rare shot of him with his mouth open and eyes wide. And was he blushing too? Thankfully it could be just the poor lighting playing tricks on him. At least that was the story he would stick to.  
“Oh God… I look like an idiot. You will have to remove that immediately.”

“Never. This is exactly what I need to get through the atrocious staff meeting tomorrow.”  
“Well… Since you will be sufficiently entertained, I am off. I really had a good time.”  
Crowley stepped to him and gave a chaste peck on Dean’s lips.  
“Me too. Have a good night and drive safe, Dean.”  
“Yeah. Okay. Bye.”  
Dean smiled all the way home. Until he remembered Saturday. And Benny’s engagement party. He didn’t even have a gift…


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is getting fluffier by the day. I swear I'm not dragging this out for the fun of it. Looking forward to writing the juicier bits soon. But apparently I have a subconscious desire to cover everything in sugar and roll in it before getting to the real business.

Dean was holding a case of wine. Finally an engagement present Benny could appreciate. Benny and Anna were making their way to him through the crowd in the restaurant they had reserved. Dean was late as usual. And Benny was going to roast his ass for it later.  
“Glad you could make it!” Benny actually was glad. But not as relieved as Anna.  
“My mother is driving me insane. Pretend to have a deep conversation with me immediately. Look serious.”  
“Okay…?”  
“Confused is fine too. Keep it up while I call my brother to chew his ass for leaving me alone with her.”  
Benny would have laughed at Dean’s expression, if his future mother in law was not actually a special kind of insane person. The kind you found in craft stores and glued to the TV when ‘Say yes to the dress’ was on. Their wedding had probably been planned three times over since the engagement was made official three days ago.  
Benny’s mantra was ‘I am marrying her, not her mother’ for the foreseeable future. Just the number of times she had ‘fixed’ his tie, drove him mad. Dean could offer moral support and an escape from the insane people for both Benny and Anna. It helped that Dean came alone. It was only polite to keep him company as the evening progressed. Anna was swept into a conversation with her cousin Jenna, leaving Benny with Dean.

“So how’s your love life?” Seemed like a good old fashioned question to rile Dean up. The longer they talked, the less Benny needed to entertain his future in-laws.  
“Benny, your interest in my ‘love life’ is disturbing. Sure you’re not getting cold feet?”  
It might seem like that to Dean. But Benny felt a tad bit responsible for Dean’s love life. He had opened that Pandora’s Box and hoped nothing nasty came out.  
“Nah. Just curious. You seem happy. I have not seen you this kind of happy.”  
“What kind, pray tell…”  
“You know. Excited happy. Not the vary kind you had in Iraq, or when we came home.”  
“I have been plenty happy before.”  
“I know. Just… this seems different breed of happy, that’s all.”  
They kept sipping champagne for a while. His fiancée was taking with the guests politely and glancing to him every now and then. She was radiant in her green dress and Benny couldn’t wait to get her out of it after the party was over. 

She was the coolest girl Benny had met. She didn’t mind him being bi. She loved it. And had proved it by being fine with him fooling around with Dean. She must have known it was nothing serious. Although, at the time Benny had worried that she might leave him during his stint in the military. They had an open relationship at the time. It had worked relatively well for them. Taking off the stress of temptation in a new relationship when they were far apart had been Anna’s idea. And despite Benny’s initial doubts it had turned out okay.  
He still remembers when he told Anna about Dean on Skype. He was extra nervous. Benny had been prepared to beg for her forgiveness. And she had found it hilarious and a turn-on. He hadn’t seen that coming. And as Anna pumped Benny for details, he could see her eyes going out of focus and cheeks flushing. It had become something they talked about a lot while he was in Iraq. And in a way it was probably good for Dean too. Anna had taken to Dean and treated him like a brother she actually liked. 

Benny excused himself to save Anna from his uncle. She was too nice for her own good. Never impolite to the blithering idiots Benny had to call family.  
“Anna, dear. Would you come and greet Dean for a bit?”  
She looked confused. They had greeted Dean already. Benny successfully communicated with his eyes for Anna to just play along.  
“Would you excuse me, Randall? My fiancée needs me.”  
Anna seemed to relax into Benny’s side as they made their way back to Dean.  
“Thanks honey… It was starting to get awkward.”  
“From here, it looked to have crossed into awkward five minutes ago”  
“Can’t we just escape now? This is unbearable.”  
“Come on now, Anna. The people are bound to leave soon. Only one more hour, I promise”

Dean was happy to talk with them for the rest of the evening as the party slowly died down. They were packing the presents into their car when Anna started teasing Dean.  
“Benny told me you were on a date with your suitor this week”  
“Yeah. Had steaks”  
“Oh come on. That is surely not the only thing you had”  
“We had salads too”  
“Brat!”  
“Nosey!”  
“Oh come on! I will have to vigorously live through you any exciting dating and mating scenarios now that I am a chained woman”  
Benny had to laugh at that. “Anna. You like the chains, honey”  
“Benny, stay out of this. I am getting my dose of entertainment. Dean, spill. With details please!”  
“Fine! Can we talk about it somewhere not on the street?” Dean actually seemed to warm up to the idea. Maybe the half assed advice they had given him earlier had made them part of Team Dean in this whole dating thing. To be fair, Benny liked to take the credit for the whole current dating situation anyway. 

They enlisted Dean’s help to haul the gifts to their house. After transferring the pile of sickeningly pastel presents to their living room, Anna was ready to have a little heart-to-heart with Dean. Benny excused himself to the kitchen for preparing drinks. Anything Dean told Anna, he would be made aware anyway after Dean left.  
____________________________________________________  
Dean sat on Benny’s and Anna’s couch with an eager looking Anna curled on the other end of it.  
“We are not on the street. And we even have drinks coming. No excuses left, Dean”  
“You are way too invested in this”  
“And that is what friends should be! Invested in their friends’ happiness. And let’s face it, you want to brag about it.”  
He really did want to talk about it. He couldn’t do that with Sam. And he didn’t really have any other good friends. And Anna had shared her insight into the relationship before without judgement. 

“We went out for steaks. But that wasn’t the real part. The real part was when we went back to his place.”  
“Oh my god! Did you do it?”  
“What? No! I just went to his place for coffee. And yes he explicitly said it was just coffee. Not…you know…’coffee’”  
“And what made it more real than steaks?”  
“We talked.”  
“And you didn’t while having steaks? Too busy eating?”  
“Brat… No we talked about the little things, the fun things, you know the inane details about ourselves, that others usually find annoying”  
“Oh and his details were better than anyone else’s?”  
“Yeah.”

“So what you want is a guy who has good details”  
“Apparently. I also kissed him again. I seem to do that in his foyer mostly.”  
“Go Dean! I have to say, this high school style dating really suits you. You seem different.”

Benny decided to join them at that point with coffee.  
“That’s what I said. See Dean, it has to be true if we made the same observation independently.”  
Dean tried to not feel appalled about his thing with Crowley being called high school dating. It wasn’t like that. Right? “It’s just weird. Being like this with a dude.”  
“It would be rather concerning if it wasn’t. I mean, if this didn’t rock your world even a little bit, you might just be considered a psychopath, or sociopath, or something”  
“Maybe…”  
“Come on. You know my history, Dean. Don’t you think I was a bit freaked out after my college roommate made a pass at me and I liked it?”  
“I know, Benny… just… Now I keep wondering if this is what it is supposed to feel like. You know. Instead of how I felt before with women?”  
“Oh. That’s deep, dude.”  
Well shit. If even Benny the bi sexual thought it was weird, it must be something out of his realm of experience. Wait, does this mean I’m gay? Completely gay, not bi. The question had kept nagging at him on and off since getting discharged with Benny.  
“Well, I’m a deep guy. With hidden layers and great details.”  
Anna’s laugh broke the tension as Dean had planned. Better to divert the conversation into less deep waters. 

“So have you lovebirds set the date yet?”  
“Nope. And actually I think we should elope anyway.”  
“Anna. That would break your mother’s twisted, glitter pumping heart.”  
“Well having the whole traditional wedding with her there would break my soul.”  
“Well then, Dean. As per my fiancees request, we shall elope on an unknown date. And I shall prepare for the wrath of the mother in law.”  
“You my dear will get off easy. She will kill me for not wearing white and allowing her to re-live her wedding day with better cake!”  
“She will pin it on me! I am the evil man who seduced her daughter to join the dark side.”  
“Benny, I have been on the dark side since before we met. You remember, I like the chains.”

After his little deep confession, he felt more comfortable with Benny’s and Anna’s wedding trouble. At least it was something else to concentrate on. However, now the conversation was getting too couple-y for Dean.  
“Well I will leave you to your chains Anna, Benny I’ll see you on Tuesday at work. Thanks for the chat. Again.”  
“Hey no worries, buddy. If you ever need to talk, our door is open.”  
“Thanks…”

The drive home was uneventful and opening the front door was followed by a sigh of exhaustion. It wasn’t even 11pm and he was ready for bed. Dean was getting old.  
“How was Benny?” Shit. Sam was up and about. Why couldn’t he do normal 20 somethings stuff? Go to bars and make have all-night study sessions at the university.  
“Benny’s fine.”  
He wandered to the kitchen and opened up a beer. Might as well relax and then completely pass out. He deserved a good night’s sleep every once in a while. Dean settled on the couch in his button-down and slacks. He was about to put the TV on, when Sam sauntered in his line of sight with a serious expression.  
“What? Something wrong?”  
“Is there, Dean?”  
“What are you talking about?” Sam was being annoying and confusing again. He must be all better and in no need of Dean’s mothering.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Where did that come from?  
“Benny and Anna are planning to elope?” How would Sam have gotten the down-low on that? And why would he care enough to pester Dean about it?  
“Are you playing dumb? Dean, you left your phone here.” Oh. And that would be a problem?  
“And..?”  
“Someone has been texting you.”  
Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit. Crowley.  
“Did the noise disturb your delicate studying mentality?”  
“Now that you mention it, kinda.”  
“Well sorry. Won’t happen again.”  
“Dean, I read one of them.”

No. It couldn’t have been anything incriminating. There was nothing untoward in their messages. Apart from the unnecessary use of smileys. And maybe some intimate details. Which could be interpreted in an innocent way if one was dumb or blind.  
“That’s not cool man.” Better try and play it cool.  
“I know. But neither is keeping huge secrets, dude.”  
Okay. So it was something incriminating. Could this be swept under the rug?  
“What was it, Sam? I have friends with twisted sense of humor.”  
Sam just stared with his bitch-face on setting that was equally patronizing and disbelieving.  
Dean took the phone from Sam’s hand and focused on the screen. If only to ignore the bitch-face.  
It was Crowley. Of course. ‘Miss you in my bed’ captions a selfie with the man in question with his head on the very pillow Dean distantly remembers using earlier. As far as incriminating evidence goes, this is the bleeding body, and the smoking gun with the fingerprint on the handle.

Dean stops breathing for a beat. And he feels faint. Like he was about to pass out. If he passed out, Sam might leave it be. For a while. And then take it as evidence of god knows what. There is no saliva in his mouth. And something seems to be lodged in his throat. He can’t even see properly. He snatches the phone off Sam’s hand. And just leaves. Puts his sneakers on, grabs a sweatshirt, and takes the car keys he just left on the counter. His next clear thought comes as he is pulling onto Benny’s drive way. They just had their engagement party. The lights are out. It’s almost midnight. But he can’t go home and face Sam right now.  
___________________________________________________________  
The evening had been boring as hell. The wine was great, but Crowley couldn’t have as much as he would have liked because of the Sunday afternoon shift. He finished the book he had been working on for a while. The ending was bland. And Dean had been busy with his friend’s engagement party all day. Not even a short text. Which didn’t prevent Crowley from sending as many tipsy texts he wanted to.

Crowley was trimming his beard when he heard his phone ringing. Please, let it not be an emergency call from the hospital. Dr. Patel should be on call anyway. Not him.  
“Crowley.”  
“Hi. It’s Dean. I…” There was a long silence. It was probably an invitation for Crowley to jump in.  
“Good to hear from you. How was the party?” The silence continued for a bit.  
“Are you busy?”  
“Not really. Why?”  
“I’m kind of in your part of the town. A night cap?”  
Who could say no to that? It was late, sure, but Crowley was damned if he let this opportunity slip. It had been a boring night, he was still pleasantly buzzed, and this might still save the day. And Dean was finally taking the initiative.  
“Sure! You know your way. See you soon.”  
He put down the phone and just had enough time to finish his dental hygiene routine, before there was a knock on the door.

“Well that was fast. Were you stalking me or something?” Dean did look a bit disheveled with a gray hoodie on top of what would be his Sunday best. And the sneakers didn’t go with anything he was wearing. Definitely not dressed to impress. A spontaneous visit then?  
“No. I was just driving around.”  
“Come on in. Would you care for some wine?”  
“Sure. Sorry to barge in like this.”  
“This is the high point of my day, Dean. I am delighted to see you.”  
The poor guy blushed.

Crowley poured small glasses of wine for them and was pleased to see Dean sitting on his couch instead of the armchair. He balanced the wine glasses in one hand and loaded the bowl of popcorn he had planned to gorge on while watching mindless comedies.  
“So what drove you to wander the streets tonight? Too many happy straight people in one day?”  
“Sam.” The little brother. What did that gangly giant do? Throw a kegger or have too loud sex with a girl in the apartment?  
“Throwing parties at your place?”  
“No… reading my texts while I’m at Benny’s engagement party…”

Well then. Sibling fight. Didn’t seem bad enough to warrant an abandon ship procedure.  
“Nothing too bad I hope.”  
Dean avoided his eyes. There was something else then.  
“You had sent some pictures…”  
That’s right. Crowley vaguely remembered taking a selfie and sending a few texts. Nothing too graphic. Or was there? Shit. Sam thought Dean had a girlfriend or something. At least based on that cut off tidbit he heard while on the phone with Dean.  
“Sorry about that. Had some wine after work.” God, what did you say after freaking out your boyfriend’s little brother? Did he even have a shirt on for that selfie?

“I just left. He was asking about it, and I fled. That makes me look guilty right?”  
Guilty? Was Sam blaming Dean of something? Maybe the brother wasn’t okay with Dean being bi?  
“If he’s not okay with your orientation, that’s his problem. Not your fault on any level.”  
“I didn’t stay to find out actually.”  
“He doesn’t know then?”  
“No… Sammy doesn’t know we have a thing…”  
“Were you planning to tell him?”  
“I hadn’t thought that far. It’s still pretty recent development, you know? And he just came out from a bad relationship…”  
Obviously avoiding the issue there. And Sam probably got a load of that avoidance crap.  
“Dean, are you out to Sam?”  
“I… What? Um… no?”

“Isn’t it good for him to know you? The real you? Look, I like to think I’m getting to know you, Dean. And you are a really great guy.”  
Dean just stared at him. And started blinking a lot. And breathing irregularly. Either this was a panic attack in the making or… Yep. Dean was actually tearing up. Jesus, had no-one ever said they liked Dean for Dean? All parts, whatever they might be? In a way that he would actually believe them?  
Crowley couldn’t just let Dean sniffle on his couch. He hugged the man carefully, bending Dean’s head to his shoulder. Little encouragement never hurt anyone. And Dean was huggable in his rumbled sweater.  
____________________________________________  
Oh God, he was such a wuss. Dean felt like an open wound. Everything was flowing out. At least he wasn’t actively crying. Just…. Leaking. Into Crowley’s T-shirt. Dean lifted his arms to push himself away from Crowley, but ended up just touching the man lightly. He wasn’t ready to let go of this yet. Crowley was warm and solid. Like Benny had been in the desert.  
What was Sam thinking right now? Dean had no idea. Even thinking about it was exhausting. He knew, his little stunt had been too much. And Sam wasn’t the kind of person to judge quickly. But he was Dean’s family. And family was different. If Sam didn’t approve, Dean would be alone in a way he had never been. 

“Can I stay over?” It was a selfish request. He would be of no entertainment or even decent company. He wanted to be held like Crowley was holding him now, for a bit longer. His bed at home would feel cold and uninviting.  
“Of course, Dean. Do you want to borrow a toothbrush?”  
“Yeah. I should.”  
When Dean emerged from the bathroom in his undershirt and boxer shorts, Crowley was already in bed.  
“I don’t have a super early shift tomorrow, but I usually get up around 7 anyway. Is that okay?”  
“Yeah. I don’t mind.”

Dean just wanted to not think about stuff for a while. He wandered to the bed and Crowley lifted the covers to invite him in. It wasn’t like this last time he was here, right? They had both been pretty drunk and tired already, basically passing out. The sheets were soft. Were they the same ones he had slept in last time? Probably not. Crowley seemed like the kind of a person to change the sheets weekly.  
Slipping into the bed is weird. The silence bothers Dean. He had cried onto Crowley’s shoulder. And now he was in the bed imposing on his privacy.  
“Sorry to freak out on you like that…”  
“Hey, it is not a big deal. You had a rough night.”  
“Yeah, but still. I should probably have stayed home and dealt with this.”  
“Dean. You were not ready. It is okay to be freaked out. And I am sorry to have caused this to begin with.”  
“It’s not your fault. I should have had my phone on me. Or better yet. Should have had the balls to talk to Sam before.”  
“Nah. Tomorrow is soon enough. Get some sleep and calm down. It will look less intimidating in the morning, I swear. Always seems like that anyway.”  
“Maybe.”

Dean sunk into the mattress and tried to relax. When that didn't work, he started talking.  
“How did you come out to your family, if you don’t mind me asking?”  
“Well. They pretty much knew from the get go. Mother was disappointed, but got over it partly because I became a doctor. Dad was great. Also absent. And everyone else pretty much saw it coming and nothing changed.” Could it really be that easy? Not that Dean had much of family or friends anyway.  
“How on earth was your dad okay with it? Mine would have beat me silly if he was still alive.”  
“I think he was bi. Not sure. He took off before I turned 17.”  
“Sorry to hear that…”  
“I think it was for the best. No-one could have suffered through my mother’s tyranny for over 20 years. I certainly didn’t.”

That helped a bit. Dean started to warm up. The covers felt soft and Crowley radiated warmth from the other side of the bed.  
“Good night, Dean. Try and get some sleep, okay.”  
“Yeah. Thanks again for letting me stay.”  
“Hey, that’s what boyfriends are for.”  
Yeah. Boyfriends. That sounded more normal than it had a week ago. Dean could see Crowley’s eyes close and assumedly he was asleep. He was tired too. But wanted to be reassured with more than words. Shuffling to Crowley’s side of bed and aligning their arms for a long stretch of skin contact felt nice.

“Come on then” was uttered in a gravelly voice.  
Okay, Crowley was not asleep. The older man turned towards Dean and a heavy arm draped over Deans chest. Turning to face Crowley set Dean to face a T-shirt covered chest. And the arm around him now prompted him to lean in and add his own arm around Crowley. This was different from Benny. They would just spoon. But this was more intimate. And so warm. 

Dean must have fallen asleep fast. He opened his eyes and was alone in the bed bathed in pale light. There were noises coming out from the kitchen and Dean followed them. He grabbed his sweatshirt for warmth and cursed his stupidity to just have slacks and dress shirt on him.  
“Good to see you up. An omelet?” Crowley was in his dressing gown and slippers.  
“Thanks… you know I love these.”  
“Well thank you for the high praise. As I said. I don’t mind making them for you.”  
______________________________________________  
They ate in silence for a while. Dean got tomato on his shirt again. And Crowley found it adorable. Last night had been great. Despite Dean’s less than ideal situation that prompted him to come over.  
It was also nice that Dean would trust Crowley to provide a safe haven from shit flying at him. Be it a bit exaggerated compared to the reality. Still, obviously a big deal for Dean. The man with no pants in Crowley’s kitchen was a delightful distraction and he ended up eating slower than usual.

“How are you feeling this morning, Dean?”  
“Okay. I know, I overreacted.”  
“Sam will understand. He didn’t come off as a bigoted asshole. Although that could have been the concussion too.”  
“He’s not a bigot, I know. It’s just that he is my family. Well apart from Uncle Bobby.”  
“Yeah? Do you really think he would get huffy about this?”  
“He seemed angry last night. I guess for keeping secrets and not about the dating thing itself.”  
“Likely”

Dean looked a bit worried still, but not on the verge of tears like last night. Crowley did wonder if Dean was exploring his vulnerable side now that he had someone to allow that for him. It was a convenient insight into his personality. One Crowley might not have been able to get to in other relationships.  
The omelet was getting cold and Dean was actually eyeing his leftovers hungrily.  
“You want the rest? I’m full.”  
“If you’re sure…” Crowley smiled as he pushed the plate to Dean.  
“Don’t pretend you haven’t been lusting after it since five minutes ago. And I am not that hungry.”  
He would make a double dose for Dean next time. Now it seemed like there would definitely be a next time.

After cleaning everything up, Dean was putting his sad slacks back on. Those poor pants were going to take a lot of care to come out presentable after spending the night in a pile on the floor.  
“Hey, Dean. Stop abusing your pants. Just… let me see if I have something.”  
Of course his irrational desire to see Dean in his clothes had everything to do with this. Crowley dug out reasonably clean pair of sweatpants from his closet. The black ones with his med school logo on the hip. Hah… definitely his.  
“Thanks… You sure these will fit?”  
“Just use the drawstring if you need to. And I had those when I was still in med school. Was a bit slimmer then anyway. And they were a bit long on me. Might be all right on you”  
“Hey, you are fine now. Don’t start on that bullshit about weight.”  
“Okay. Good to know. I shall now freely drown myself in cupcakes and pie”  
“Good. I’ll join you.”  
The pants looked very fine on Dean. Maybe a bit too fine. Crowley had to stop staring. His dressing gown only covered so much.  
_____________________________________________________________  
“Well, I should probably head home for damage control…”  
“Probably. I have to go to the hospital soon anyway.”  
“Just wanted to say, I really appreciate you offering me asylum last night. Sorry for being such a downer…”  
“Hey, it is my privilege to do these things.” 

Dean’s mess had never been anyone’s ‘privilege’. How was this shit storm anything someone wants? Had Dean ever wanted to deal with someone else’s problems? Maybe Sam’s. That was different though. Which made Crowley special. And not in the condescending glue eating type special. Like heartwarming kind special.  
“I’ll get your pants washed. Thanks for the loan…”  
“No hurry. I like to see you in them for some reason”  
And hadn’t there been similar sentiments from Dean when Lisa wore his dress shirt that one time? Maybe? Was this some possessiveness thing? Man, he needed to look into psychology at some point, if he really wanted to understand this stuff. Or maybe not. Maybe more information would make it weirder. 

They were in the foyer again. And Dean was acutely aware of his history with the location as Crowley leaned in for a good bye kiss. It was still nice. Something felt different though.  
“Did you do something to your beard?”  
“Yeah, I trimmed it a bit. Why?”  
“Huh. Didn’t know I would notice the difference. Interesting.”  
Well that was a dumb thing to bring up… Crowley seemed to be okay with it.  
“Well, I do try to keep things interesting for you” The wink was playful and somehow dirty.  
“I… appreciate it?”  
“You’re welcome. Now, head home, you have the day off.”  
“Okay” Dean was close enough to give one last little peck to Crowley while hugging him. That seemed like a reasonable move. Until he felt it poking his thigh. What?

“Sorry. I apparently really like you wearing my pants…”  
Oh God. It was a boner. A real male boner, for Dean. Or at least some concept pertaining to Dean. Did he want to take Dean to the bedroom now? Did he want him to leave?  
“I… that’s okay…”  
“It’s not your fault, you know. Directly at least. It’s morning.”  
Well Dean was familiar with the phenomenon. It was weird being on the receiving end of the thing though. So he just avoided eye contact and possibly blushed.  
“I really like you, you know. And it is not a comment on our pace in this relationship. You know that right?”  
“Yeah I get that. Just… sorry to cause... that…”  
“Nothing to be sorry for, Dean. I have to be at work in a couple of hours. The patients might not appreciate this, so…” Oh! Time to leave. So Crowley could take care of the… yes. Time to go. Before there were two problems here and sweatpants really didn’t cover anything. Crowley kissed his hand. And bid his farewell. Dean walked to his car and willed an erection away by thinking about what to say to Sam while he was driving home.

His entrance to the apartment seemed to go unnoticed. He filled the washing machine with the poor slacks and crumbled dress shirt. He must have looked stupid at Crowley’s door last night. Sam cornered Dean next to the washing machine having obviously waited for it.  
“You’re home then? Are you okay?”  
“I’m fine…”  
“Sorry if I came across… aggressive last night. Really didn’t mean to.”  
“It’s okay…”  
“No, I really was just upset that you wouldn’t tell me. This is a big deal, Dean.”  
“I know…” Dean was starting to tense. This could still go badly. He didn’t want to do this in the bathroom with the loud hum of the laundry.  
“Why didn’t you tell me you were into guys?”  
“I didn’t know until Iraq, okay. And can you imagine a natural spot in a conversation to slip that in? ‘Have you seen my pants? By the way I think I might be a bit gay’ did not seem to flow”  
Sam actually smiled at that. 

“Thank god. I thought you had felt like this forever and just kept a front up all though high school and what not”  
So that was it? Sam had no problem with it as long as he knew about it? That seemed too easy. Or this meant Dean had been running himself ragged worrying about it at all. Apparently he was silent too long with his eyes staring into nothing as the next time he focused on something, it was a wall. Sam had left. He wandered into the kitchen and found his little brother getting his smoothie thing ready. 

Dean suddenly feels a cold glass in his hand and automatically drinks the water offered.  
“Dean, is that guy texting your boyfriend?” Those words from his annoying little brother’s mouth sound appropriate. This is how Sam interrogated Dean about his first girlfriends. Dean had been rather proud to share the details at that occasion.  
“Crowley?… maybe…”  
“You know that’s fine, right?”  
“Huh…?”  
“Dean, it’s okay. I don’t mind. You have seemed so happy lately, it would be stupid of me not to support it” Jesus, everyone kept saying the same thing. He should seriously monitor his behavior in public.

“So you’re fine with me being… bi?”  
“Yes, Dean. Did you think I would have yelled at you and told you to stop it right away? I’m not dad. And he is dead anyway. You should do whatever… or whoever you want.”  
“Ew… Never talk like that again.”  
“What, you got shy all of the sudden? I have heard way too much about your girlfriends. Hell, I know their bra sizes and what triggers their orgasms. For comparison, I should know about Crowley.” The brat had the audacity to grin at that. “He looks familiar too. I’m sure I have seen him recently somewhere.”  
Concussion would probably cause that. Maybe Dean could play dumb. But the rainbow colored cat was out of the bag. And it would be nice not to sneak around Sam. And he did seem to take it really well. 

“You were pretty out of it at the ER. Crowley was actually your doctor.”  
“You are sleeping with my doctor?! You used my misery as a way of getting laid?”  
“No! No, I saw him later at a bar.”  
“Oh. Oh! When Benny took you out. And you didn’t come home for the night… Were you with Crowley?”  
“Yeah…”  
“Way to go Dean. You really bagged a winner there.”  
“I didn’t ‘bag’ anything. I just… you know. Slept over.”  
“Like teenage girls?”  
Oh boy. He would have to explain this thing again. Maybe they should just do it, so he didn’t have to go through this awkward story over and over.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got around to updating this and felt like adding spice to the seemingly endless cotton candy sweetness. But just a little bit. I'm still working on writing up the juicy stuff. Any comments and suggestions, as well as helpful criticism are welcome. Also pointing out grammatical blunders is greatly appreciated.   
> Disclaimer: I know nothing about medical stuff. I'm not that kind of a doctor.

Crowley was enjoying a cafeteria lunch at the hospital. Maybe enjoyment was too strong of a word. But the food was unlikely to cause him indigestion and he needed something to get him through the surgery at two. Wondering how Dean’s talk with his brother was going, he checked his phone. For the tenth time since eleven. No messages or calls. Maybe they were still hashing it out. 

His late morning wank had been inspired. He had imagined his sweatpants hanging too low on Dean’s hips and Dean’s hands on his dick. It had been embarrassingly short session. Hopefully the whole morning wood situation hadn’t freaked Dean out too much.   
The operation would be fairly routine and hopefully over by four. Crowley wanted to escape before he would be dragged into the weekend ER mess again. Maybe he could call Dean after work. Texting was so difficult to interpret with this one. The short words really didn’t convey much. And Dean had such an expressive voice. Crowley would love to hear some dirty talk with that voice. 

His final guilty pleasure before suiting up for the operation, was to take a look at the photo of him and Dean in his foyer. He should get some variation to this. Maybe Dean wouldn’t be against it either. Of course depending on how things went with the brother. Secretly Crowley hoped for the tension to continue, if that got Dean to crash in his bed.  
________________________________________________________  
Dean was getting annoyed with Sam. He went on and on about the “courting” that was apparently going on in Dean’s life. No it was not like teenagers sneaking around. No, there was nothing wrong with Crowley, or Dean for that matter.   
“But you used to have sex on the first or second date!”  
“When I was in college! It was a while ago. Things change.”  
“Well yeah, but this much?”  
“Look, I’m glad you are okay with this, but would you please just let this go?”  
“No way! I am single as fuck and need entertainment. And yours is the absolutely best show in town, Dean. I mean, from ladies’ man to… this.”  
“What?”  
“You know. Puppy love.”  
“Sam! It is so not! I will strangle you.” They were both way over thirty years old. No way for anything to be puppy love or young love, or whatever.  
“No you won’t! I am heading to the library anyway. So you can swoon to the text I just heard you got.”

Dean hadn’t heard that. It was past five so might indeed be Crowley. He checked his messages and indeed, it was from Crowley. ‘How did it go? I got extra eggs, just in case’  
The talk bit had gone fine. It was a relief. ‘It was okay. Now he doesn’t stop teasing me about it’  
‘Glad it worked out. Although, if you ever need to seek asylum, feel free to show up’  
Okay. Was that sweet or was that just Crowley trying to get into Dean’s pants? Dean had never had this kind of problem with women. He knew he was trying to get into their pants. Did the women wonder about his messages like this? 

Wait… Was he ‘the woman’ in this? Dean was no-ones bitch. How did all this actually look like to an outsider? Was he turning into some sort of fem gay? Did Crowley think of him like that? Did Crowley expect Dean to submit and become a perfect little house boy? ‘House boy’? Why did that sound so dirty?   
Dean distractedly wen about his night routine. Getting the gear ready for a proper workday was a soothing process. He carried a gun for a living. He couldn’t be that kind of a fag, if he carried a piece everywhere he went, right? 

Luckily Dean was tired enough to fall asleep fast. On the down side the dreams bothered him. He woke up on Monday morning with clear memory of the night’s mental home video. Crowley starred the dreams and Dean played apparently an excellent house boy. Minimal clothing, cooking, massages… even a scene of him welcoming Crowley home after a long day at work. In a frock. With dinner on the table. There was something disgustingly submissive about the whole thing. 

If he did an extra hard work out in the morning at the office gym, that was just to prove himself he could. And choosing the manliest meat loaded lunch before the gig they were going to be on for the week was just because that sounded the best out of everything.   
“Whoa Dean! That thing could stop your heart if you’re not careful.”  
“Benny, it is delicious. It is my duty as a man to enjoy it.”  
“You saying my salad is girly?”  
“Yes” The tiny cucumber hearts didn’t help Benny at all. Who thought a salad would need that?  
“Well… fine. But I’m not reviving you after the inevitable heart attack.”  
“Nothing wrong with my heart” Dean did feel healthy and energetic… More so than before.   
“No. It is full of sweet love for this doctor of yours!” Oh, god. Dean could feel his cheeks burn. It was in the middle of the street. Why did Benny insist on making a scene in public about his personal life? Was he behaving like teenage girl? Did everyone at work know now?  
“Shut it Benny! I swear I will disembowel you and make it look like an accident, if you breathe that to anyone. Including me!”  
“Whoa! Calm down…”

Scouting the revenue their client would be throwing a large charity auction at, was a nightmare. There were a million nooks to hide on the historic estate. Why did rich people insist on making everything so difficult? Was it something about the smell of money that made them all insane and suddenly into creepy complex architecture?   
Benny had a concerned look on his face as he was talking to the client. There were actual death threats against this Andrew Rottenkopf character. And it was because he was donating all the charity auction’s proceedings to a foundation for transgender kid’s treatments. Some people had their panties and jock straps in a bundle over this. Suffering of kids must really not resonate with the stalkers seen around Mr. Rottenkopf’s house. Postponing the auction would do nothing in any case. These sorts of idiots were not seasonal.  
“I have to say, tomorrow is going to be an interesting night, Benny. You sure we have enough manpower to cover this mansion? This makes me wish the walls did have ears, eyes, and guns.”  
“It’ll be okay. I called Ricky and Christina in just in case. We are paid enough to put absolutely everyone on this.”  
That was a relief for Dean. At least rich people paid well. And in this case for a reason. 

Dean was looking over the blueprints and making notes for the team meeting, when someone cleared their throat behind him.   
“Mr. Milowitch told you would be able to inform me about tomorrow’s specifics. Mr. Winchester, is it?”  
Their client, Mr. Rottenkopf, was standing behind Dean in a ridiculously well-fitting suit.   
“Yes, sir. I am in charge of the strategic aspects of the night”   
And as Dean turned to face their client, he noticed for the first time how the blue eyes of Mr. Rottenkoph slid up and down Dean’s whole body. Huh.   
“Do you foresee any problems, Mr. Winchester?”  
“No, sir. We will have increased number of personnel on the site with concealed carry as discussed. The check-up at the main entrance is our main focus in addition to the back garden entrance.”  
“And where will you be stationed for the night?”  
“I will take the outside watch with Ricky… I mean, Mr. Savoy. And Milowitch is in charge of the main ball room.”   
“Pity. I would have loved to see you in a suit and a tie…” 

As the client walked away, Dean realized he had been hit on. In an obvious way. Or was it flirting? Was he supposed to be flattered? Mr. Rottenkopf was younger than him and not bad to look at. And was he really thinking about doing something about it? Not really… Although maybe a younger guy wouldn’t make him feel like a girl as often as Crowley did. He might feel more comfortable taking a “manlier” role again. Now that he watched the client walk away, there was something feminine in his step.  
“Benny, do I give off a “gay” vibe?”  
“Kind of. I have an excellent gay-dar. Why?”  
“The client flirted at me”  
“And…”  
“The guy was making elevator eyes at me!”  
“I hate to break it to you, Dean. This is so not the first time this has happened.”  
“And you didn’t tell me?!”  
“So you would have wanted to hook up with a client? That is not kosher Dean and you know it, man.”  
“No! I just… It would… I don’t know. I wouldn’t have, but it would have been nice to know I guess…”  
“Flattered?”  
“Maybe”  
“Over Crowley then?”  
“No.”  
“So why the sudden interest?”

“It’s just that I go weird when I’m with Crowley”  
“Like gooey?”  
“What? No, whatever that means. Like, not my normal self. All… emotional.”  
“Isn’t that the purpose of a relationship? All the emotions?”  
“I cried in front of him, okay. So there. Weird and unnatural. And don’t you dare laugh, Benny.”  
Benny indeed did not laugh. He actually looked a bit sad.  
“Dean… Maybe your definition of normal needs some serious adjusting.”

The Tuesday night charity auction would tie them up for the whole day and long into the night. Expecting to get back home closer to 3am, Dean wanted to get a good night’s sleep. And Sammy was just going to have to keep it down. Since he found out about Crowley, there had been constant pestering about the relationship. And jabs about his ‘high school crush’ and ‘cute dates’ did not help with the feeling that he was indeed the woman in this. 

Dean rolled into the bed and tried to just fall asleep. It was unnaturally early. And he could not relax for some reason. Maybe it was tomorrow’s job keeping him up. Maybe it was something else. Whatever the reason, the universal relaxation technique was in order. A relaxing wank helped even in Iraq. And it wasn’t like he was having any real sex anyway.   
Getting naked was in order. None of that hurried, boxers half way off, stuff now. The lube was a nice addition and still felt like a luxury after having none while deployed. Dean used to think about Benny while doing this. Now it felt a bit wrong. The guy was getting married and was his boss kind of. Women no longer held his interest, so most of his old fantasies were out. 

Starting off with just imagining someone else’s hands on him did get things going. The lube warmed up fast and the covers on his bed started to feel unnecessary. Soon the hands of just anyone lacked the visual image Dean always preferred. So he tried putting their client’s face on the fantasy. He was very handsome. And his hands were soft. And suddenly Dean was starting to get soft too. Dammit!   
The client was a no-go. Something to get back into the mood. Benny’s rough hands always did it for him. The imagined body heat of another human spurred Dean on and provided a nice backdrop for the fantasy. Everything evolved as usual. More friction, a bit harder grip. And reaching for the lube once more to cover his right index finger, was just to have something extra. Lifting his hips and bending his knees to get an easy access was familiar by now. And the teasing fingertip was an anticipated move, just like the light stretch when he dipped in a bit. 

As Dean pushed his finger in to find the magic spot, he could hear his own panting. Imagining someone else panting there with him made everything just a tad bit hotter. Ohhhh…that’s it. That’s the spot. Everything started to go white. Dean could feel his thighs tense. He was almost there. And he heard Crowley’s words ‘Come on then’ in a rough rumble in his ear. That memory led to immediate orgasm. Holy shit. Well, that worked better than expected. Benny could definitely retire from his spank bank. Dean was in the post orgasmic relaxed state for a good five minutes. 

Definitely not over Crowley. Pretty much getting under Crowley sounded great right now. Did this mean he wanted Crowley’s finger up his ass now? Maybe. His dad would have killed him for even thinking about it. It was just a finger, right? Not like he was imagining a cock up there. Not really. Although that wouldn’t be much different… Just bigger? Maybe there would be something on-line for that. He was getting too sleepy to even stress about that.   
____________________________________________________________  
Crowley hadn’t heard anything from Dean in a few days. He could be busy with work. Or getting second thoughts. Was coming out to Sam too much? Or maybe he was embarrassed about the Saturday night visit? It had been nice. Crowley didn’t mind being a stabilizer for Dean. He had felt useful and on top of that, the cuddling was lovely.   
Tuesday night was the absolute best night to do a night shift. It was always Friday or Saturday. As long as ER didn’t find out he was in the building and not suited up for surgery, Crowley might even get caught up with the paperwork. The cup of coffee from the cafeteria was cooling at the corner of his desk. It was a weak imitation of real coffee anyway. And no amount of added sugar covered the bitter taste. He was just about to get the first set of forms from last week in their folder all filled out, when his beeper went off. It was the ER. Dammit. Oh... but the code was for an emergency surgery.

Riding the elevator to ER for assessment was not really necessary, but they did page him. Might as well get a preview of this. Likely a ruptured appendix. Those things could be nasty. Hopefully it wasn’t a child. The stakes seemed to be higher for the whole team in those cases. Even if all surgeries should be treated equally. And the parents usually wanted to talk to the surgeon for some reason, instead of the nurses. 

He weaved through the nurses’ station to get to the EMTs surrounding the gurney. And then he saw Dean. His hands went cold when the blood on Dean’s hands registered.   
“Dr. McLeod! Male, late 30s. Gunshot wound to the leg. Bleeding is under control, but we don’t know if the bullet went through. We are pushing morphine…” Crowley’s vision started blurring. 

Leg? But Dean was standing… Oh…Dean was not the patient on the gurney. Thank God. Dean was standing. He looked at the guy actually bleeding. It was Dean’s friend. Ben? Something like that. The huge guy. At least his blood volume was adequate and he was in good enough shape as far as Crowley could remember.   
He collected himself and hoped no-one had noticed him almost fainting.   
“Okay, Ben? I will be your surgeon on this marvelous Tuesday night. I’m Dr. McLeod.”  
“….Crowley?” Oh the man was high on morphine already. They were apparently very generous with that stuff.   
“Yes. You remember me?”  
“…yeah… Dean’s boyfriend?”  
At least he didn’t suffer from memory loss. Just the leg then. 

“Well then. Would you please take him up for surgery prep in room 409? I’ll be there shortly. He wanted to talk to Dean so badly right now.   
“Dean? Dean?” Oh the man was pale. Shock? “Dean are you hurt?”  
“What? No. Crowley?”  
“Yes, it’s me. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of Ben.”  
“It’s Benny… He will be okay?”  
“Yes. Benny will be fine.” Dean still looked a bit out of it. Where were the nurses? What was that girl's name?  
“Nurse….Meg? Could you take Mr. Winchester to clean up and to the family waiting area?”  
Meg jumped on it. No doubt curious about the man who was claimed to be Dr. McLeod’s boyfriend. 

Crowley headed towards the operating room and felt his pulse calm down. It wasn’t Dean. And who the hell gets shot on a Tuesday anyway? That shit was reserved for the weekend. Which he conveniently had off.

The surgery was mostly uneventful. The bullet was still inside the leg and removing it opened up a bit of a blood leakage. The bones looked fine and the muscle damage would hopefully heal with time. It would have been horrible to have the guy bleed to death on his table. Crowley had the feeling that Dean wouldn’t have forgiven him that. He got out of the bloody scrubs and headed towards his office. Then he remembered that Dean was possibly still in the family waiting room. 

Making sure his hair was fine and dress shirt unstained with minimal smell of sweat, Crowley made his way to Dean. He saw the poor man pacing in the hallway. God, did he pace through the whole surgery? It had been hours. At least the blood was gone from his hands.   
“Hey, Dean.”  
“Crowley! How’s Benny?” There was a trace of panic in the green eyes.   
“The surgery went well. He is in the recovery room right now.”  
“Thank God!” Dean deflated like a balloon prompting Crowley to put his hand on his shoulder just to make sure Dean didn’t collapse in the middle of the corridor. 

“It will be a while before you can see him. You should go home and get changed. I can still see some blood on your pants. They did check you up, right?”  
“Yeah. Yeah… I should.”  
“You should call someone to get you. Is Sam home?”  
“I don’t know… Oh! Shit… shit. I need to call Anna!”  
Right. The fiancée. Dean must have been really out of it to forget the fiancée. God this was the week after their engagement party too. Great luck. Dean was talking on his phone for a while. Crowley considered leaving him to it, but their eyes met and Dean did not break the eye contact. The call ended and Dean made his way back to Crowley.

“Thanks….for you know. Fixing Benny.”  
“Just doing my job.”  
“Still. Glad it was you.”   
“Hey, any surgeon could have done as good of a job there. Don’t put me on a pedestal.”  
“I just… I trust you.”

Taking Dean back to his place sounded great. His shift had ended an hour ago officially. It was 6am and he was exhausted.   
“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking?”  
There was a long silence and a lot of fidgeting from Dean.

“We had finished the job and packing up. Nothing major had happened during this whole charity thing. The client was arranging details for the weekend with Benny, when out of nowhere there was a gun shot. This was on the fucking street… after the event. I should have been on my guard. I should have… At least we got the asshole then and there. I was on him with Ricky. I should have shot him… claimed self-defense.” Dean had started pacing in the hallway again during his story.

“It was just this young guy. Some idiot in a hoodie. A fucking hoodie! At least he didn’t know how to aim…” Damn. Dean was just rambling on and on. Everything must have been too fresh to process all the way through. The man needed to breathe and stop worrying.   
“Anna is going to kill me. I was supposed to…”  
“Hey, Dean. Calm down. Benny is going to be fine.”  
“You don’t know that! Oh…. Wait you know that… You really know that?”  
“Yes. It was not bad as far as gunshot wounds go.”  
Crowley waited for Dean to process the information.   
“It’s almost 6:30 in the morning. You should get some sleep.”  
____________________________________________________________________________________  
Dean’s heart was still beating too fast. Or it felt like it. Maybe he should get it checked out. How could he fall asleep now? Benny was hurt. Anna was on her way. She shouldn’t be here alone. Suddenly the lady in question stormed to the hallway in her pajamas and a leather jacket. She must have been speeding like hell to get here this fast.   
“Dean! Is he okay? What happened?!”   
“Benny’s okay, he will be okay.” Grabbing Anna into a calming embrace was the least he could do. “They got him in the leg, Anna. He’s going to hate the physio and gain a ton of weight”  
“Okay…okay. Can I see him?”

Dean turned to Crowley. The man was sitting on the hallway bench and actually looked tired. He straightened up and started to head towards a staff phone.  
“The fiancée, right? It’ll be a while before he wakes up. I can get a nurse to take you there.”  
Anna looked spooked, but was gathering herself together at an admirable pace.   
“Thank you…?”  
“Dr. McLeod. I was in on your fiancée’s surgery”  
“Thank you, doctor. Dean? Are you okay? You look pale.”  
“I’m fine. Go see Benny. Tell him hi, when he wakes up. I’ll be here.”  
“Dean. No. Go home. I’ll call you when he wakes up. I know you have been up since dawn. At least Benny is getting some rest.”  
Crowley joined them with a blonde nurse and gave Anna a short run through of the surgery and expected healing time. Dean started to feel heavy. He sat on the bench and watched Crowley talking to Anna. Crowley looked tired. And awkward. Anna seemed anxious and probably wasn’t listening to a word Crowley was saying. And that was all fine since most words said seemed to be just chatter about veins and muscle fibers.

Dean couldn’t even close his eyes properly. Too wired up after everything. Crowley joined him on the bench. His left leg was twitching. Annoying. Dean tried to stop it by leaning on it with his arms. Didn’t help. There was still that need to move and do something.   
“I can’t stop moving”  
“Okay. Does it need to be checked out?”  
“I don’t know. My heart is racing.”  
“Dean. I could have someone from downstairs take a look… unless you want me to do it?”  
That sounded like a good idea. But he also wanted to be somewhere else. The fluorescent lights made his eyes hurt and the people running about made him nervous.   
“Can we go somewhere else?”  
“Of course. My office is just around the corner…”  
“No I mean away from the hospital” Anywhere. The parking lot would be fine.  
“Oh. Sure. Do you want me to take you home?”  
“I… yeah.” That was a great idea. No need to call Sammy and wait for him to get here. “When does your shift end?”  
“An hour ago”  
“Oh. So you stayed here for me?”  
“Well, I had to see through the surgery anyway. I don’t mind. Patient care and all that”

The explanation wasn’t convincing. But Dean didn’t care anymore. Crowley was there, Benny was okay, and he could get out of the hospital grounds.   
“Okay. I… do you mind driving? I don’t know if it’s smart for me to do that…”  
“Dean are you sure, you don’t want to get checked out right now?”  
“I just need to get out of here… I can’t sit still. The lights hurt my eyes and there’s people everywhere…”  
“Okay. Okay, I’ll get my coat. Come on. My office is on the way to the elevators.”

They walked together, Dean still fidgeting and speeding up his steps intermittently. They rounded a corner and stepped into a small office with a tall window showing the hospital grounds in the pale morning light. Damn. It was 7am. The office itself was clean and dominated by a dark wooden desk. And stacks of papers. Crowley took his suit jacket, coat and a leather messenger bag from the corner. He stuffed a stethoscope in the bag and turned off the lights.   
“Dean. Let’s go.”  
Dean started to feel tired. Which combined with the restlessness into a peculiar feeling in his head. Like a headache while being high. He started to pay attention when they reached the parking lot. What were they doing again? Right. A car to get home. Where was his car?

“Do you see my car?”  
“Dean? You came in the ambulance with Benny. I assume it is still where you left it last night.”  
Oh. Okay. That was okay. They reached Crowley’s atrociously normal, twelve in a dozen SUV and climbed in.   
“Okay. Just remind me where to turn.”  
“What? Oh… we’re going to my place?”  
“Unless you want to go to mine? You might want to get your clothes changed though. And your place has that…so…”  
“Oh yeah. Sounds good…”

Crowley looked worried. And Dean was itching to drive the car. Drive it fast, just to be doing something. As soon as the apartment building came into Dean’s field of vision he started to calm down. It would be quiet. There were no fluorescent lights. There was beer and bed and TV.   
“Parking on the street is fine, right?”  
“Yeah.” God did he even have his keys? Were they in his car? No. They were in his pocket. Thank God. The morning sun was too bright. He had a bit of trouble getting the front door open. The key hole was too small and his hands were shaking.   
“Dean, let me do that.” Crowley gently took the keys and opened the door to be nearly plowed over by Sam.

“…Dean I swear if you forgot your keys ag-… Oh.”  
“Sammy. Had a long night, morning. Whatever... um, you heading out?”  
Sammy’s eyes kept going between Dean and Crowley. Right. This was awkward. Why did they come here again? Something about clothes.   
“I…I wasn’t going to class for a couple of more hours. But if you need me to disappear earlier…”  
“Nah… I’m just tired. Benny got shot this morning after the gig, was at the hospital.”

“Jesus Christ! Is he okay?!”  
“Yeah, Sam. Anna’s with him. It was just his leg. Not life threatening…”  
“Of course it’s serious! A gunshot wound, Dean! God, what happened?”  
Sam dragged Dean to the living room couch, Crowley following them and hanging back.  
“Some asshole just took a shot at the client and Benny’s leg got in the way. We got him though.”  
“You wore the vest right? Tell me you had it on…”  
“Of course, Sammy. I’m not an idiot. I was fine. I am fine. I’ll be fine.”

Sammy seemed to finally take note of Crowley. And Dean should have probably planned this encounter or something. Prepped Sam. Or even just Crowley. Now Crowley was shaking hands with Sammy. And asking about ribs. Barbecue? For breakfast? What?  
“Oh yeah, they feel fine now. Not going to the gym yet though.”  
“Yeah try and keep them undisturbed for at least one more week.” Crowley was using his official doctor voice. All soothing with careful pronunciation. Why was he using his doctor voice? It was just breakfast.  
“…breakfast? Sammy, do we even have ribs?”  
Both Sam and Crowley stared at him now. They looked worried.  
“What?”

“I should look over your brother. He has been up way too long already…”  
“Yeah, you do that. Thanks for bringing him home, dude.”  
“No problem.”   
Sam disappeared into his room with a banana. No ribs.

Suddenly all Dean could see was Crowley crouched in front of him.   
“Dean, you are sleep deprived enough to seem drunk. I am going to take you to your bedroom and check you just in case. Then you are going to sleep. Doctor’s orders.”  
Nothing happened. Why weren’t they moving to the bedroom already?  
“Dean, where is your bedroom?”

Oh… that’s right. Crowley hadn’t been here before. Dean got up on unsteady feet and navigated to his bed, face planting on top of the covers in a heap.   
“Okay, Rambo, let’s check you out before you get some rest, okay?”  
That sounded sensible. But getting up was so difficult. In the end Crowley’s hands helped him into a sitting position and divested him from his t-shirt. The cold stethoscope jolted Dean to the world of the living.  
“Jesus, that’s cold…”

“Sorry… Okay, now just breathe in and out a few times. That’s good.”  
It was weird getting a physical in his bedroom.  
“Okay, Dean. Your heart and lungs are okay. It’s likely just adrenaline. You know. Long exposure and all that. It has been a long exciting night for you.”  
“Yeah…and now I feel like shit.”  
“You might want to get under the covers then. You are going to crash spectacularly. And get chilled.”

Now that Crowley mentioned it, he was getting a bit cold. Crowley appeared again in his field of vision, now with a fresh T-shirt and the black sweats. Dean took them and squirmed out of the pants he had been wearing for almost 24 hours. He put on the pants and did not even care if the t-shirt was on inside out or something, and proceeded to get into the bed. It was really getting cold. “Is it supposed to be this cold?”  
Crowley sat on the bed and Dean slid his covered feet closer to get some of that body heat.  
“Yeah. Shouldn’t be for too long. You’ll be okay.”  
Crowley’s hand was caressing his thigh over the duvet. It felt really good and warm. 

Dean hated to ask for anything. But his friend had been shot and he was cold. “Can you stay for a while?” The hand on his thigh paused.   
“Sure. What do you need, or what can I do?”   
Dean just wanted to be warm. How do you ask for a damn cuddle without sounding like a girl?   
Fuck. Maybe he was really supposed to be the girl in this. Maybe that was something he subconsciously wanted. Being taken care of felt nice. He wanted the omelets and cuddles and hugs and kisses. If that made him the woman in the relationship so be it. Dean sat up in the bed and just pulled Crowley down on top of the covers.   
“Hey… okay. Just let me take this damn suit off, okay?”  
Dean just nodded. Scooting back to make room for another person in his bed, he observed Crowley drape the gray suit jacket and the slacks on his chair. “Do you have a shirt I could borrow?” Did he? Crowley was a bit wider than Dean. “Yeah? Just look through the drawers. There should be… Yeah. That gray one.” At least he didn’t keep porn under his t-shirts. That could have been embarrassing.

He got a glimpse of tattoos, when Crowley tossed his undershirt and dress shirt on the floor. The t-shirt was a bit snug on Crowley, but Dean didn’t care. The boxer briefs were blue and Dean tried not to pay too much attention to the crotch area. He didn’t have the energy to imagine anything or make educated guesses. He could have gotten shot this morning.  
So fuck it. He was going to be the girl and demand a cuddle for the night. Or day, as it were. Crowley slid next to him under the covers. Dean’s hands were less coordinated than he would like. His left arm clumsily covered Crowley’s chest. Scooting closer to the body heat was necessary. Crowley encouraged him by gathering Dean in the crook of his arm, so he was not against it. At least for the time being. Dean could smell traces of aftershave and hospital grade disinfectant. 

“Comfortable, Dean?”  
“Yeah… tired. Thanks for… all of this.” Somehow the words didn’t seem enough of an acknowledgement.   
“Hey, it’s my pleasure.” Why did Crowley sound so awake?  
“Tired. Can you stay?” It would be nice to be this warm all night…day…whatever.  
“Yeah, I can stay.” Those were the nicest words Dean could imagine at the moment. And he felt the dry lips and coarse stubble on his forehead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got this written out. It is just a bridging piece to get to more interesting things, but was still a bit of fun to write. As usual, any feedback or pointers on grammar are welcome.

Sam was getting ready to leave for class. He had the mind to just skip it. His brother had been shot at, for god’s sake. But it was the week before an exam. There was bound to be a quiz. And it didn’t sound like this Crowley guy had left yet anyway. Dean would be sleeping...or something.

He stopped by the fridge to grab a snack to go. Dean forgot to close his door. It was wide open. And from the kitchen Sam could see Dean in his bed. With Crowley. They seemed to be sleeping with Dean’s head propped above the covers on Crowley’s shoulder. Were they naked under the covers? How did they not notice the door being open?  
Dean seemed to stir a bit and Crowley tightened an arm around him. Well that was kind of cute. Although it was his brother. Sam felt like an intruder in his own home. That door should be closed. So he snuck to it carefully and grabbed the handle. They should have greased the hinges. The squeak was loud in the quiet apartment. Crowley’s eyes opened and met Sam’s undoubtedly blushing face. Trying to mime what was going on, Sam closed the door.

The commute to campus was great at this time of day. No extra morning traffic and less people on the bus. Finally, he had the time to process what he had seen. Dean was in his bed with a man. Sam was okay with it. It was just really different to see it than to think on it. At least he was sleeping. And seemed happy about the whole gay thing. Well… it was in the name. Sam chuckled at his own joke.   
__________________________________________________________

Crowley stirred and immediately noted he was not at home. The light was wrong. It was probably already afternoon. Dean was asleep on his arm. His fingers tingled. Okay…there was no way he was going to go back to sleep. When he got up, Dean just grunted and burrowed back into the covers. It was kind of cute.   
It had been ages since he had eaten. And probably longer for Dean. It might be a good idea to get Dean fed sooner rather than later. Okay. Pants on just in case Sam got back. That whole selfie thing must have been too much already. No need to make the whole thing worse with no-pants cooking. 

Crowley made his way to the kitchen. He assumed it was okay to use the stuff in the fridge. It was stocked better than he expected from two youngish guys. Thank god they had eggs. Was it bad that he just wanted to make an omelet again? Dean liked them, so fuck it. That was what they were having. The tomatoes looked still okay. And the bell peppers were fine. The shredded cheese looked like it was some imitation stuff. So technically not even cheese. 

He was just plating the omelets on mismatched plates, when the apartment door was opened and Sam stepped in.  
“Oh! Hi, you’re up.”  
“Yeah. Got hungry. Hope you don’t mind this. I used your eggs.”  
“That’s cool, man. Is Dean up?”  
“No. He crashed really hard from the adrenaline. His vitals were fine when I checked.”  
“Oh…so did Dean call you to get him in the morning?”  
“No. I was there already. I did the surgery on Ben.”

“Wait, what? You…did a surgery? On Benny?”  
“Right. Benny. He got shot… and I was on call…”  
“But you are an ER doctor?”  
“Oh. No, I’m a surgeon. Didn’t Dean mention it?”  
“No. Man. That’s awesome.”  
“It’s a job.”  
“Like getting a Nobel prize is ‘just an award’. My brother really bagged a winner, didn’t he?”

“I did what?” Dean had woken up and stumbled to the kitchen in lounge pants. Possibly still disoriented and not entirely awake.   
“Hey, you’re up. An omelet?” Crowley offered the plate towards Dean and ignored Sam's curious looks.  
“You made me an omelet? You are the best. I am unbelievably hungry.”  
Just as expected. At least Dean looked less pale. 

“So, Dean, you failed to mention Crowley was a surgeon…” Why did Sam have to keep bringing that up?  
Dean seemed to notice his brother just then. And started to look uncomfortable for some reason.  
“Sorry? It slipped my mind?”  
“Jesus! Slipped your mind?”  
“Doctor is a doctor, right?” Dean looked confused and still tired. And he was eyeing the omelets hungrily.   
“But Dean… a surgeon.” 

Why did people make a big deal out of this? Dean didn’t. And that made Crowley really appreciate the man even more. Dean apparently wasn’t after titles.  
“Sam, my profession is not a big deal really.”  
“You two are peculiar, you know? If I was banging a surgeon, that would probably be the first thing I divulged…”   
Crowley froze and Dean seemed to blush. Crowley wished they were indeed ‘banging’. This was getting uncomfortable.   
“Dean, here’s your omelet. Sam, do you want one?” Diversion and change of topic. Just please drop it… please, don’t make this awkward as hell for everyone.   
“Oh…thanks, but I just had lunch an hour ago…”

“Dean, do you feel okay? Dizzy or cold?”  
“Oh… just hungry. And that’s getting fixed right now.” Dean’s smile was warm. And knowing. He was aware of the diversion tactic.   
“Eat up. You haven’t had anything for probably almost a day. And eat slowly.”  
They sat at the kitchen island and Sam headed to his room. 

“Anna texted me earlier. Benny’s okay. Well. He’ll be off from work for a while.”  
“That’s good. It really wasn’t all that bad as far as surgeries go.”  
Dean was shoveling the omelet too fast.   
“This is so good… Did you go to the store to get stuff for it? I will totally pay you back.”  
“If you slowed down and actually tasted it, you would note that the cheese is not real. Who even buys that stuff…”  
“It says cheese on the package…”  
God…anything he would make would be excellent, if Dean was used to living off fake cheese.  
“No, it says cheese product.”  
“Oh.”  
“Yeah. So this was prepared out of stuff from your own fridge.”   
Did Dean look embarrassed? It really wasn’t a big deal. While it wasn’t adorable, it was fine. Also something Crowley planned to change. Stealthily buying real cheese and maybe a spice or two was doable.   
“Well it’s still good…”

________________________________________________________________

Dean started to taste the differences to the omelets he had at Crowley’s. It was still better than anything he would have put together for himself. And it was made for him. By his boyfriend? Still not sure if ‘boyfriend’ was a word he would use. Man-friend and lover sounded equally wrong. He liked the way Crowley looked at him. Like he was the most interesting person in the room. To be fair, there was no-one else in the kitchen. But still. Crowley seemed to like him, and Dean really liked Crowley. Especially in the mornings with his hair all over the place.

Since Crowley made the food, Dean obviously was on dish duty. Crowley leaned on the kitchen counter and observed Dean’s progress. It was starting to get weird.   
“What?” God, the man was all smiles. The kind of rumbled sexy Dean seemed to like.  
“I like watching you do things with your hands”  
Was that a fetish? Would Crowley finally demand something more than a kiss?   
Wait, was this a hint that he wanted a hand job?   
Well, Dean was down for that. They were on his home turf and he was comfortable. The thought got him half hard within the minute it took him to set the dishes to dry.

Okay. This could happen. This could actually be great. Drying his hands on the kitchen towel, Dean started to make his way to the bedroom. And Crowley was still leaning on the kitchen counter, looking at Dean with a smile. Well then. Taking control over the situation, Dean grabbed Crowley’s hand and led him to his bedroom. Crowley liked his hands doing things. Hand job Dean could do. Benny had never complained.

Closing the door behind them, Dean took a deep breath and turned to face Crowley.   
“Will you let me do this? I… I want to.”  
“I don’t know what you are talking about, but please do…anything”  
Crowley seemed confused and amused. Dean pushed him to sit on the bed. 

Before he had done this in a tent, field conditions. The bed offered options. He wanted to touch everywhere, and ended up straddling Crowley’s lap. Kissing like this was new and exciting. He could feel Crowley’s warm hands come up to support his hips through the thin lounge pants.   
Crowley’s lips were soft and relaxed under Dean’s more demanding ones. Dean slid his hands from Crowley’s shoulders to his chest and sides. It was interesting to feel the breath catch in Crowley’s chest and the borrowed T-shirt stretch with the following inhale. He had to bend down to kiss Crowley and it made him feel in control of the situation. He could do this. He really could.

Why hadn’t they done this ages ago? This was great.   
Oh right. The consent thing. Should he ask now? How does one ask permission to give a hand job?   
“Ah… Can I… Can I take your pants off?” Damn he sounded breathless and idiotic. ‘Can I take your pants off’ also wasn’t what he wanted to say anyway.  
“Yeah… You sure you want to?”  
“Yeah. Yeah.” Crowley laid down on the bed to give better access to the slacks. At least there was no belt. Dean had a bit trouble getting the zipper down as it was. Okay. Blue boxer shorts. Nice.

Getting to his feet and dragging the pants completely off felt like an accomplishment. Getting back on to the bed for more kissing was a good idea. Something familiar to do while sliding his hand down Crowley’s stomach and into his underwear.   
Okay. That was an erect penis right there. Familiar and foreign at the same time. 

Crowley tensed and seemed to stop breathing. Dean ended the kiss to look at Crowley properly.  
“Are you okay with this? Can I touch you like this? I can stop.”  
“Don’t stop... Just how far are you going to go? Wouldn’t want to get the wrong idea…”  
Oh. Right. This might have actually looked really forward and ballsy. Heck, it was ballsy. And he was feeling all kinds of good and dominant. Not to break the erotic bubble they were in, Dean bent to whisper directly to Crowley’s ear.  
“I am going to give you a nice hand job. That okay?”

_______________________________________________________________________________

Crowley could only nod frantically. Dean had not been this assertive with him even if the kisses had been rather passionate. Was this some sort of post adrenaline hormone surge? Whatever it was, Crowley planned to enjoy it thoroughly. Dean had larger hands than he did. The delicious pressure enveloped his dick nicely under his boxer shorts and Dean’s lips clung to his. 

This was not going to take long. Crowley had been surprised with this hand job and it made every move seem much more intense than it would, had he known about the plan beforehand. He might have hummed or groaned. And then Dean removed his hand. Crowley opened his eyes about to question the abrupt break in the good times they were having. And saw Dean lick his own hand. Not small teasing licks – purposeful, wide, slobbery licks. 

That was the most erotic thing he had seen in a long while. And the hand was back in his shorts. Holy shit, he was going to blow his load soon. The spit slick hand felt amazing. Dean’s lips moved from his mouth to his neck and the deal was sealed. Crowley couldn’t help it. He was a verbal person in bed.   
“Ohhh…God, don’t stop. Dean, don’t stop. Hunh… yeah…”  
There was a pause in Dean’s handiwork, but apparently the ‘don’t stop’ registered, as the stroking continued with a slightly tighter grip.   
“I’m gonna cum… I’m gonna…” The noise he made was not a manly grunt. It was a probably closer to a desperate whine. And he would need to get out of the ruined boxers as soon as he got down from the spectacular high. 

Dean was looking at him expectantly. Right… reciprocation. Crowley went to get his hand on Dean’s no doubt hard cock. And couldn’t find it. Well this is embarrassing. No matter how great an orgasm, he should be familiar with anatomy. Oh wait. He was touching wet fabric. Oh… 

“So you liked it too?” Crowley smiled at Dean. Who was red faced and seemed to be frozen from fear.   
“Hey, that’s hot. I love it that you were having a good time.”  
Dean gave him a small smile and seemed collect himself. Clearing his throat and getting up to presumably clean up seemed like an escape for the suddenly shy man. Crowley propped himself on his elbows on the bed to follow Dean’s path to the dresser.

________________________________________________________________________________

“Do you happen to have any extra underwear I could borrow?”  
“Excuse me?” Was Crowley some sort of a pervert? Why would he want…?  
Then Dean saw Crowley pointing at his crotch. Oh, right. Should have probably taken the boxers off beforehand. He must have been on autopilot at that point  
“Ah… Yeah. Try these.” The pair of boxers were plain black and relatively new. No way would Dean give Crowley the ones with ducks or polka dots, even if they might be a better fit. 

He would have to change his own pants too. It was starting to get cold and clammy. And embarrassing as hell. He couldn’t have known that hearing Crowley get off would affect him so much. There was enough friction between his pants and Crowley’s hip to get everything going fast toward completion. Dean had never been with anyone so articulate. As soon as Crowley had started talking in a breathy deep voice, Dean was gone. It had taken all his concentration to keep his grip tight.

“I’m just gonna change the… yeah.” Just slinking to his bathroom might seem like a brush off. But Dean didn’t want to drop his pants in front of Crowley quite yet. Even if he had had his hands in Crowley’s pants and seen pretty much everything too. He had changed in front of other guys almost his whole life. But this was just different. Catching himself in the bathroom mirror showed just how messed up his hair was and the peculiar blush on his cheeks. Well he did look like he had a good time. 

“My turn?” Crowley scared the shit out of him by standing right next to the bathroom door. Of course he would need the bathroom. Stupid to leave him just hanging around in soiled boxers.   
“Yeah. Sorry about that.”  
“No worries. And just so you know. That was awesome. Really great surprise.”  
That was good to know. 

Dean sat on the bed and waited for Crowley to come out. It was past three in the afternoon. And Dean would like to go see Benny. Just to say hi. But he didn’t want to get rid of Crowley yet either. He decided to lay down on the bed with his feet still on the floor.  
Crowley did appear in his field of vision. He must have been deep in thought as he hadn’t heard the man approach. The bed dipped when Crowley laid down next to him, leaning on his elbow to presumably stare at Dean. 

“So… That happened. Thoughts?”  
“I started it. Pretty obvious I liked it, as you pointed out.”  
“Okay. Good. I really liked it too.”  
Dean offered a nervous smile to Crowley. What now? Did they talk more? Were they supposed to part ways now? Crowley must have seen the questions float somewhere in his head.   
“You wanna stay in bed a while longer?”  
“I don’t know. Maybe?”  
“Thank god… Sex makes me extremely tired.”

They arranged themselves under the covers. This time facing each other. So there was bound to be a talk. Some sort of sex “post-mortem”. Maybe pointers or analysis?  
Instead, Crowley grabbed Dean’s hand and kept smiling.   
“What?”  
“I’m glad you decided to share this with me.”  
“Dude. It was a hand job… Not even proper sex.”  
“Hey, we both got off with each other. In my books, we had sex.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. Really. Penetration is just one way to do it. Other ways are equally valid.”  
Dean must have looked confused, as Crowley soon added:  
“Not saying they all feel the same. ”   
“Okay…” 

“So… How do you like your post orgasmic bliss? Cuddles? Pass out?”  
“Um… You mean usually? I didn’t stick around often. Or just fell asleep.” Cuddle would make this better though.  
“Okay. I’m cool with that. Do you want me to go?”  
“What? No. I’m too wired up to fall asleep…” Hinting for a cuddle was difficult.   
“So…?”  
“This is good. I… I’m good just like this.” Laying there with Crowley holding his hand was nice. 

“Sorry, if I fall asleep or something. Great orgasms get me really tired.”  
Dean smiled at that. “It was just a hand job…”   
“Hey, don’t sell yourself short. I loved it. Especially the thing with my neck… You might have noticed. I tend to get a bit verbose…”  
Dean had to chuckle at that. It was refreshing to actually get immediate feedback from his partner in words instead of just dainty hums. Dean had always been a bit unsure if what he was doing was pleasurable for the women, or if they were just bored. They seemed to enjoy it in the end. They did reach an orgasm most of the time as far as Dean could tell. And Benny had already been all sorts of horny and usually initiated their encounters.  
But Crowley had definitely enjoyed it. No-one would fake that sort of noise on purpose. 

“Yeah. Couldn’t miss that.” There was nothing more to say apparently and Crowley just smiled in that goofy way you do after getting into a hot tub. Crowley’s eyes were blinking slowly, indicating the sleepiness he warned about. The hand Dean was now holding went slack. Okay.   
He had an unconscious, post-coital man in his bed. It gave Dean the opportunity to really look at Crowley. All the lines on his forehead, the ruffled hair with a few gray’s catching his eye, and the blotchy warm pink on the cheeks were so natural. Nothing fake about this man. Except maybe the car. That thing was hideous. 

Holding on to a slack hand seemed pointless. He could get to a more comfortable napping position just by rolling onto his back. When he let go of Crowley’s hand, the man in question stirred and ended up shuffling to Dean’s side. And draping himself half on top of Dean. Okay, this was different. The stubble tickled Dean’s chest in a peculiar way. Draping one’s arm around the warm body next to him seemed like a sensible thing to do.   
The nap ended up being just a short 20 minute affair. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

The racket Sam made in the kitchen, to presumably prepare food, woke Crowley before four.   
“Good nap?” Dean seemed entirely too alert. Did he even sleep?  
“Yeah. Sorry about that.” At least it seemed like he hadn’t drooled on Dean’s chest.  
“You warned me. It’s fair. It’s not like I was completely awake the whole time.”  
“So just part of it then. Thinking about stuff?”  
“I guess.”  
“Good? Bad? Regrets?”  
“No. Just… this. It’s nice.”  
“Yeah. Seeing me passed out from thorough orgasm is not all that glamorous”  
“No, it’s… I don’t know. I liked it.” Dean seemed embarrassed about it too.   
“Nothing wrong with being a bit romantic, Dean. You can say it without getting all bashful. Not that it isn’t a pretty sight.”  
Dean let out an amused huff and slammed his head on the pillows again. 

“So… do you want me to give you one?” He should have had Dean’s dick in his hand before. Maybe he could save the situation now.  
“What?”  
“You know. I could do the same for you…”  
“Dude, thanks, but I’m not twenty. It’s been under an hour.” Dean seemed to smile at that. At least he was comfortable enough to tell Crowley no.   
“Fair enough. As long as you had as much fun as I did…”  
“I doubt anyone could have as much fun as you, Crowley. Based on the noises alone…” It was nice to have someone chat with him and be on the same page mentally after sex. No worship or roles played.   
“Hey! No judging. It was your fault anyway”  
“How was I supposed to know that would happen? It was quite different from Benny, I’ll tell you. That man never made a sound. Although we were in a group tent too…”  
Comparing him to Benny could go badly. How could he compete with that body? Except by not getting married to a chick? But Dean was laughing and seemed happy now. So he must have gotten stuff right. How could Benny give this up? 

“Do you want to go and see Benny?”  
“Yeah… We were probably taken over by the police anyway on the case.”  
“So I take it you need to get going? I happen to know the visiting hours end at 6pm”  
“Yeah. And I need to get my car too. Are you off? Could get dinner” Oh, how tempting that sounded…  
“Actually no. I have another night at the hospital I’m afraid.”  
“Oh… and I kept you here. I’m sorry…”  
“No, no! This is great! I slept fine. I’ve done shifts with far less.” While true, it would also mean Crowley’s night was going to be more tiring than if he had gone and slept at home. At least he would have the memories of a spectacular orgasm to keep his brain entertained.

“Hey, since I am going to be there tonight starting at like 8, I could sneak you in to see Benny later too. Just a thought” And an excuse to have almost the entire day with Dean.  
“You would do that? That wouldn’t get you into trouble?”  
“Nah. It’ll be fine.” They were under staffed and a visitor to one of his patients would be reported to him anyway.   
“Well in that case, would you mind if I came over after I get my car and sort things out with the client?”  
“Sounds doable. Just call me before I get to work about the time.”

Crowley got out of bed and started to put his clothes on. He really had to go. A shower and getting into fresh work clothes was in order. The suit jacket looked okay. The pants, not so much. But they would do for the drive home. Dean got up as he did and put on some sweats. No shirt. Greatly appreciated. Crowley made his way to the foyer and Dean followed.   
“So… I’ll see you later?” Dean asked still seemingly unsure of this.  
“Yep. I’ll have my phone on me, so just text or call.”  
“I really appreciate this.” Dean was getting closer in the confined space. He avoided Sam’s shoes with practiced ease and ended up crowding Crowley against the door.  
“Glad to be of assistance, Dean.” Crowley knew where this was going and licked his lips. 

Dean leaned in and Crowley met him half way. It was a sweet kiss. And Dean’s hands came down to Crowley’s waist and thumbs started to rub gentle circles on Crowley’s hips. What wouldn’t Crowley give for just a few more hours of this. On the bed. With far fewer clothes. They separated in time for Crowley to avoid an awkward boner.  
“Damn… I really have to go.” He couldn’t help the smile. Their foreheads were touching still and Dean’s green eyes filled Crowley’s field of vision. But not completely. So he saw the flash of Sam taking a picture of them. Dean must have missed it, as he did not react. Or saw it and didn’t care. In any case, who was Crowley to meddle with a potential brotherly argument? Or maybe he could get that photo for himself. 

“I’ll call you then?”  
“Yeah.” Was Dean afraid he had already forgotten?  
“I’ll see you later.”  
And with that Crowley slipped out of the apartment and bounced to his car. He felt like a teenager again after his first time. Which was ridiculous. A hand job shouldn’t make him behave like this. Although it made him curious of the effects of other things they could do. He ended up jerking off in the shower after he got home.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter stretched itself somehow. It should have been shorter. I don't know what happened.

The apartment door closed behind Crowley and Dean made his way back to his room, when Sam appeared to his side.   
“Just so you know, you two are adorable.”  
“We’re not…”  
“See here. This is all the proof anyone would need.”  
It took Dean a while to orient himself to Sam’s phone and the photo on it. It showed Dean leaning his forehead to Crowley’s with hands obviously on Crowley’s hips. Were he anyone else just looking at a photo of strangers, he would say the pic was poorly lit and the environment gloomy as hell.

But it was a candid shot of him with his boyfriend. And they did look comfortable with each other. Like a real couple.   
“You took a picture? Why?”  
“Evidence. This trumps every one of your claims of this not being a big deal or not important. I’m keeping it.”  
“Fine… We are a thing.”  
“Thank you! Wasn’t that difficult now, was it?” Sam seemed too smug for his own good.   
“Just don’t go advertising it, okay? I’m not ready for that. I need to see where this is going Sammy.”  
“Not even to Bobby?”

Oh God. Bobby. Their dad’s friend, who basically raised the brothers after their parent’s died. Dean had been almost eighteen. Tried to fight to be the one to take care of Sammy and keeping both of them out of social service’s radar. Thank God for Bobby. They hadn’t been close to the man before they moved into his house. It saved them both. They had only a few nights in a group home, but that was enough. Dean wasn’t going to take any chances with alienating the old man.   
“I don’t know… not yet, please Sammy. Just, don’t…”  
“Okay, okay. Just so you know, I haven’t seen you this happy ever. And Bobby would be happy for you too.” 

Dean wasn’t so sure. While Sammy had been an adorable ten-year-old and attached to Bobby fast, Dean had been vary. He had been too close to adulthood and too cautious to form a strong relationship with the man. He knew Bobby cared. But he was more Sammy’s than his father figure. 

He was going to need a ride to get his car. Thankfully Sammy let the whole Bobby-thing slide. At least for now. Baby was parked at the venue still. At least the asshole hadn’t shot at her. That would have warranted a slow death. The drive to the office was short and relaxed Dean. By six pm he was sitting at Benny’s desk and dealing with the client. Who was freaked out and still grateful for the protection? What protection was that though? There were shots fired. At least he was unlikely to sue or withdraw his payment. He even let Dean know he would use their services again if the situation called for it. 

How much of that had to do with the elevator eyes he had given Dean, would forever remain a mystery. And Dean was not eager to get to the bottom of that barrel of awkward. He left Ricky in charge of the ongoing assignments and the filing Benny usually took care of. Christina was out for the night and Dean was scheduled a night off anyway. He would get back to work for Thursday and Friday with a free weekend. Hopefully free weekend. They would have to split Benny’s workload for however long it took for him to get back to the office at least. Dean texted Crowley to let him know he would be at the hospital around nine. 

_________________________________________________________________________________

Crowley had a huge pile of files in front of him. Praying for a ruptured appendix, he had started to make a dent on the mountain. Why didn’t they give doctors secretaries to deal with this crap? Dean was going to be here to see Benny in an hour. And timing his dinner for that would mean he might be able to hand out with him too for a bit. Which made him sound like a codependent teenager. Great. 

In fact, he was the creepy older man. And he had sworn not to become anyone’s sugar daddy. And technically he wasn’t Dean’s sugar…anything. Hell, Dean didn’t care his status at all. Sam had been right, people usually connected his profession to every single introduction they made. Obviously Benny knew about him. Had called him the boyfriend even. Which made at least high-Benny his ally.

Crowley was getting antsy. Might as well check on Benny. The room was still lit up and Benny was apparently watching TV.   
“How are you doing, Mr. Milowitch?”  
“Crowley? Good. Just a bit stiff. And the leg feels like shit.”  
“Okay then. Can I take a look?”  
“Knock yourself out”  
Crowley rolled the sheet up to reveal the bandages. At least it was a below the knee injury. Awkwardness could be avoided and the healing process would be less obnoxious.   
“So. You were there when they brought me in… as far as I can remember.”  
“Yeah. They had you on a high dose of morphine. Understandably your recollection might be a bit… patchy.”  
“Anna was here just a minute ago… Thanks for getting her in here. She mentioned a McLeod when I was awake enough during the day.”  
Crowley kept inspecting the stitches. Yes. The lovely fiancée.   
“She was impressed.”  
“Oh?”  
“Yeah. I had to convince you were the Crowley Dean had mentioned.”

“Dean mentions me?”  
“Heh… yeah. You are nowadays his number one topic. Don’t tell him I said that though. He gets awfully embarrassed.”  
Dean was talking about him with his friends. Seemed like it could be a good thing. At least Benny wasn’t threatening him yet.   
“Yes, I noticed. Oh he’s going to come and see you tonight for a bit. In half an hour or so.”  
“He did mention that. Perk of dating you I bet.”

If Crowley blushed at that, he hoped it went unseen as he pretended to give the leg an intense once over.   
“Everything looks good here. Did you get the physical therapist number already? I can grab that for you.”  
“Yeah, they arranged stuff when Anna was here.”   
“Okay. Good. Well, I’ll escort Dean here then…”   
When Crowley retreated to the door he could hear the smirk in Benny’s “…I bet you will…”   
And decidedly that was ignored. 

Dean was pacing the waiting area already with a folder in his hands.  
“Hey, Crowley. So nice of you to do this…”  
“It’s no big deal, Dean. Just follow me. And let’s try to limit this to an hour or so. Even I can’t face the wrath of night shift nurses.”  
“Duly noted. I have some work stuff that needs to be taken care of ASAP…”  
They had stepped into an unoccupied elevator. And Dean turned his attention from the file to Cowley. And his smile was borderline predatory, giving Crowley just a fraction of a second to prepare for the kiss. 

Wow. That was unexpected. And hot. And the elevator arrived to Benny’s floor too fast. They separated before the doors opened. And Dean had to straighten up Crowley’s hair. Okay. Hand job and this in the same day. Obviously Crowley had done something right and the universe was paying it back. As Dean slipped into Benny’s room, Crowley holed back in his office to start on the paperwork again. 

A good hour into it, a knock on the door interrupted him. It was Dean. He must have known how delicious he looked with his arm propped on the door frame. Why did he have to wear those tight jeans? Crowley was going to be at half-mast for the whole night.  
“Everything okay?”  
“Yeah. Thanks again. I can’t believe I actually remembered, where your office was.”  
“Well done… You were pretty out of it by six am.”

Crowley got up and closed in on the boyfriend framed by the doorway. And what would be a better time for a bit of flirting?  
“A big bird told me you have been talking about me… all good things I hope?”  
Dean's blush was amusing. And the smile adorable.  
“Maybe I have. Maybe that bird should keep his mouth shut as I am in charge of the firm’s billing until his highness is okay enough to take it on…”  
“I’ll have you know it will be a week tops. The bird’s injury will only prevent walking and running, not accounting.”   
“Now that is excellent news.”  
“Mm hmm…”

Dean leaned for a kiss. A semi public kiss. Greatness.   
“I need to get back to paperwork sadly.”  
“Yeah and I’ll need to get home.”  
“How’s your weekend, by the way?”  
“All open. How come?”  
“Well. I might want to take you on a date or something.”  
“Can I opt for the ‘or something’?”  
“Okay…?”  
“See, I like staying in.” Oh that sounded promising on so many levels.   
“Do you now…? How about a Friday night dinner at my place?”   
“Heavenly. Text me the time?”  
“Will do.”  
And with that Dean left Crowley to deal with the uninspiring pile of paper and frustrating erection. 

______________________________________________________________________

Dean was struggling with the payment received from Mr. Rottenkopf. There was an item labeled gratuity. So basically a tip. Who the hell tips for security? And it was substantial. Where does one mark that up without it seeming like a fucking typo?   
Christina would be out again for the weekend with a client. In a spa of all places. Why did he only get the people who wanted him to stand around outside in the rain? At least he still had the weekend off. As long as he figured out this ‘tip’ thing. Eventually he decided to call Benny. His pride was not worth getting audited for suspicious income.

“Hey Dean! How’s it going?”  
“Good, good… well there is a slight problem with the billing of the Rottenkopf gig…”  
“Did he refuse to pay?”  
“No. He tipped us.”  
“And that is a problem?”  
“It is ten grand.”  
“Excuse me?!”  
“Yeah. Ten thousand dollars. Where am I going to sort this in? It looks suspicious on the excel sheet…”  
“I don’t know… Let me call Garth. He will know. And don’t touch the money. Just leave it on the account for now.”  
“Should have called him to begin with. I keep forgetting we have an actual accountant… Sorry to disturb your sick leave…”  
“Hey, no problem Dean. I’m bored and high as a kite on Vicodin. I have to say, your boyfriend prescribes the best stuff.”

Dean smiled. Of course Benny would be high. He had seen the wound and it looked painful. Dean was surprised they let him go home this early too.  
“Yeah… he’s… yeah.”  
“Oh come on Dean. You are dating a doctor and based on what I saw, he is a great guy with a killer bedside manner. You can say he is great and no-one who has met him will think you are exaggerating.”  
“I’ve known him for like two weeks. I wouldn’t know for sure…”  
“Oh come on! You like him! He seems to like you back. It’s okay to be all loved up.”  
“I’m not… I am going to let you go now and explore your drugged up imaginary world, Benny.”  
“You know I’m right! Avoidance is as good as admit-“  
Well that was taken care of. With any luck, Benny would forget the whole phone call on account of being high. 

_____________________________________________________________

Crowley was about to head home. It was 5am and Raminez was releasing him early. Bless the guy and his weird sleep patterns. He drove home in a haze and haphazardly parked the SUV in a corner spot. Damn… he would have to get something for dinner. Something amazing. But sleeping was a priority. He couldn’t risk crashing his car.   
Falling into bed in his underwear was the last thing he was aware of. Until there was a loud knock on his door. Shit! It was 5:30pm already. And that would be Dean. Grabbing a pair of pants and opening the door in a hurry paid off. Dean had been about to walk away it seemed. 

“Hey! Sorry, sorry… Slept over. So sorry.”  
“Don’t worry about it man, I know I’m a bit early”  
“You really are not. Damn, I can’t believe I slept through the alarm. Come in though.”  
“You sure, it’s okay. You could sleep a bit more probably.”  
“No I’m good. Heck I have been out for over ten hours. That is enough for anyone.”  
“Wow. You must have been tired.”  
“Yeah. Maybe the excitement of paperwork really got my adrenaline pumping…”  
“Hey, it can’t always be bullet wounds and broken ribs.”  
“Indeed, indeed.”

Dean was making himself comfortable on the couch. The jeans looked criminally tight. And Crowley felt under dressed in sweatpants and no shirt. Which explained, why Dean was staring harder than usual. And rightfully so. He had always had a shirt on before.   
“So… is there a story behind that?”  
“I believe it’s called turning forty and not going to the gym”  
“No! The… tattoos?”

Oh…right. The tattoos. Crowley was too used to them by this point and didn’t really think about them anymore.   
“Um… I was twenty once. And thought they were cool. Then decided to you know…balance things out by having two of them.”  
The colors had faded and his chest hair covered parts of the images. He couldn’t be assed to get them touched up. Dean however seemed very interested. He even got up from the couch to get a closer look. 

“Did it hurt?”  
“Like hell at first. Then it just got numb.”  
“Why Dragons?”  
“They are cool, powerful. And as I said, I was twenty.”  
“Fair enough. Can I touch them?”  
“Sure… so you never seen a tattoo before?” That was difficult to believe.  
“Small ones. Black military insignias and stuff. But these are real art.”

Cool fingers traced his shoulder and dipped onto his pectoral muscle. Well…area. Muscles were not in the cards. He should have put a shirt on.  
“I was starting med school and wanted to rebel against the mold I was neatly sliding into. These really drove that message through.”   
“So are these the only ones…?”  
“Ah…yes. Never wanted to take my pants off when a non-medical needle was going to be used.”  
“Understandable. They are beautiful though. Really cool.”  
“Thanks…”  
Crowley grabbed a T-shirt getting a bit uncomfortable parading around half naked. And went ahead to change into jeans and a sweater. No reason to not look decent for Dean.   
“So, are you up to a visit to the grocery store? I have nothing really edible here.”   
“As long as I can drive.”  
“Sounds good. Let me grab my bags”  
_______________________________________  
Well grocery shopping with the boyfriend was a new level of domestic. Crowley looked like a normal dude with his jeans. It was like shopping with a friend. Well, maybe they leaned closer together than Dean would with Benny or Sam when discussing the firmness of the tomatoes.   
When they were in line for the cashier, Dean became aware of the old lady behind them staring angrily. When Crowley was busy paying, he heard the mutters of “unnatural” and “blasphemy” from the woman. For some reason he froze. And came to when Crowley touched him.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”  
“Oh… nothing. Nothing. Let’s just go”  
“Okay…? Seriously, do you feel okay?”  
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”  
“Well, grab the bread and we’ll go.”

After getting everything in the car Dean just sat on the driver’s seat. Was this how it was going to be? Hostile old ladies. Maybe there would be homophobic guys ready to beat him up. He must have looked distressed. Crowley’s hand on his neck grounded Dean efficiently and prompted him to meet the brown eyes.  
“Was it the old hag?”  
How did he know? He hadn’t seemed to notice it at the store at all.  
“I keep forgetting this is kind of new to you, Dean”  
“…is it like this all the time?”  
“No. Just sometimes. Mostly old people. Or the very drunk ass holes.”  
“How do you deal with that?”

“Well… Mostly just ignore it. They are usually looking for a reaction or incase of the fine old hag back there it’s something about dated views painted by religion. Nothing I can do about that.”  
“So you just take it?”  
“I’m not confrontational. Well, apart from some passive aggressive stuff.”  
“I was just… shocked, I guess. That was an old lady. She was so angry…”  
“Well, some people are too set in their ways and in the ways they were raised. They really can’t help it. And I’m sure you have heard worse from people before.”  
“Well the translators in Iraq did grimace every now and then… but that was war. And maybe some breakups haven’t been too pretty, but none of them said anything that wasn’t true on some level.”

“Awfully reflective of you, Dean. Did you have a degree in psychology you have been hiding?”  
“Nah… Just some therapy after returning here…”  
“Hey, no need to expand on that. It’s personal.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Look this stuff might seem more serious than it actually is. Most people keep their opinions to themselves. 21st century has its perks. It is actually illegal to stone us or close us in a mental institution”

“Oh God… but that happened not too long ago. I think I was like five when the mental institution stuff was considered normal…”  
“Hey, hey… I hate to say it but it has been a while since you were five. I mean, it’s okay to be upset about that, but there is no reason to be afraid of the homophobes.”  
“I just have never had to… you know feel like this.”  
“Oh. The heterosexual white male privilege is becoming more obvious. Don’t worry. We still have it way better than black women.” Crowley chuckled darkly at his own comment.  
Which made things a bit lighter and a bit more serious too. Dean was now in a minority. Or in non-mainstream population. He would be judged based on that. No wonder people stayed in the closet. 

Finally they drove back to Crowley’s apartment and Crowley started on the dinner. Stuffed bell peppers or something. Dean was distracted. He had planned on some hand jobs and relaxing in front of the TV. Something light and funny on the entertainment front. Now all he could think of were the old lady’s words. That was a stranger, who made him feel like shit.   
And then there were Sam, Benny, and Anna who didn’t seem to care at all. If anything they were all for it and sickeningly interested. Which camp would Bobby side with? He was a bit older… but Sam thought he wouldn’t mind. Dean had drifted deep into his thoughts and startled when Crowley wrapped his arms around him from behind. 

“You okay?”  
“Yeah. Just thinking.”  
“Sorry that bitch got to you.”  
“Nah… that’s not… well not anymore a big deal. Just thinking how other people who I actually like will take this.”  
“Oh so you were planning to tell to people apart from Sam?”  
“Well, yeah… maybe. Sam thinks our foster father would be fine with it. But he’s like this old school redneck, manly as hell, scrapyard owner. And I didn’t live there all that long anyway. It’s not like we visit often either, apart from holidays.”

Crowley seemed to freeze.   
“You were in foster care?”  
“Well Bobby was our dad’s friend, so not really a standard fostering situation, thank god…”  
“Jesus, Dean. I’m sorry.”  
“Why are you sorry? It was what it was. And it was a while ago. I was seventeen and pretty much ready to be on my own anyway.”  
“Still, losing both parents… I can’t imagine.”  
“Hey at least you won’t need to worry about impressing my parents or anything.” Dean tried to make the situation lighter. Anything to end the awkward.  
“Well this Bobby character is still on the list, isn’t he?”  
“He might disown me anyway. I wouldn’t worry about it.”  
And that sounded depressing even to Dean.   
“Hey, if Sam thinks he will be fine with it, I think it will be okay. He will be okay with this if it makes you happy. He would want you happy. So I want to make you happy… to pre-emptively suck up on this Bobby”

And Dean had to chuckle at that. And it was nice to hear that Crowley cared about this stuff.  
“So what would make my boyfriend happy right now? Hm?”  
Dean had to think about it only for a second.  
“Food. I need food, and maybe… maybe a non-platonic cuddle…”  
“Wow. Okay, stuffed peppers coming up. And how non-platonic are we talking about? PG-13?”  
“Um. Sounds good…?”

Did he have time to review the American movie association’s definitions? That was nothing too freaky right? Fifty shades of Grey was not a PG-13 was it? Were romantic comedies PG-13? He had never thought about that. So kissing and cuddling were on the table. Was a hand job on? Was full frontal nudity on? Wait, how would non-full frontal work in reality? One could just look the wrong way and get the R rated experience.   
There was no time to worry about it as Crowley pulled the peppers out of the oven. The smell was intoxicating. And turned out the taste had addictive qualities. The wine got Dean relaxed by the end of the dinner. The scary prospects of Bobby hating him and random strangers spouting abuse at his person seemed distant when he was cocooned on Crowley’s couch with a glass of wine and a ridiculous comedienne about to give her two cents about porn. 

“Do I need to give you a sobriety test, Dean?”  
“What? No. I’m okay to drive…”  
Did Crowley mean he had to leave? Dean had thought… well had hoped to stay the night. Like Crowley did at his place.   
“Good. Are you up for that non-platonic PG-13 cuddle?”  
“Oh! Yeah… I thought you were throwing me out…”  
“You know my policy. Just checking.”  
“I know. And I swear I am of sound mind and all that.”  
“What a relief…”

And Crowley captured Dean in a passionate kiss with plenty of tongue.   
Oh and the hands were everywhere. Suddenly Dean was being pushed to a horizontal position on the couch by Crowley’s body. Okay then. This was hot.   
“Objections? Pointers?”   
“What? No. This is good.”  
“Just making sure.”

Crowley’s smile was a bit predatory and the kissing turned into something unsuitable for younger viewers. There was so much tongue and the lips were not gentle. And all of that went straight to Dean’s cock. Which was suitably stimulated by Crowley’s thigh lodged between Dean’s. Crowley’s hand found skin at his waist and made a shiver run through his torso. The hand was warm and made Dean’s skin burn pleasantly. And he was starting to sweat too.   
Making out on a couch was hotter than he remembered. In both senses of the word. Surely PG-13 would allow for the removal of his shirt. At least that way he would have something to wear later. 

“Hey, Crowley. Lemme up for a bit.”  
Crowley got up on his knees with his hands up in a placating gesture. Which he dropped when Dean started to take the T-shirt off.   
“Damn. What the hell do you do to keep this fit? Can I touch? Please let me…”  
“Yeah, yeah… anywhere.”  
Feeling a great amount of pride, Dean laid back down and grabbed Crowley’s neck to pull him back for a kiss. It was glorious. He started to pull Crowley’s sweater off. They coordinated to get the sweater and the undershirt out of the way. The tattoos were in clear view again. The dragons seemed to become alive under the tensing and relaxing muscles and the shadows the living room light cast on Crowley’s skin.

Their chests touched a bit and it suddenly got warmer for Dean. And the following full torso contact was overwhelmingly sexy. The solid weight of another man must have touched on some pressure points and Dean felt like a liquid. Ready to be poured into any shape Crowley wanted to. The kisses turned lazy and shorter, until Crowley leaned his forehead against Dean’s. It felt more intimate than anything he had done with Benny before.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Crowley was going to hell. There was probably a section for chubby forty-year-olds who wanted to stick their dicks inside much younger men. Well… not that much younger. If he had any self-restraint he would have just got up and cooled it at least five minutes ago. But he was weak and Dean was gorgeous. And he needed to get off so bad right now. And if that was going to happen, he was adamant that it was not going to be in their pants on his sofa.   
“You wanna maybe move this to the bedroom?” Crowley managed to utter.

“Yeah… that would be good”  
And how on earth did this minx manage to sound adorably unsure and innocent, while clearly grinding up to Crowley’s jean-clad thigh? Just one more kiss and Crowley was up. His blood supply was obviously not where it should be as he felt a bit light headed. Dragging Dean up and towards the bedroom was a quick affair and they soon found themselves staring at each other from the opposite sides of the bed. 

Well maybe they could slip into some nudity and sexual content.   
Crowley started to bring this up. “So…”  
But Dean interrupted him.  
“I was thinking going a tad bit beyond the PG-13… you know. Not much but a bit”  
Well this was interesting. Dean had been thinking about this. And damn, Dean looked great in nothing but tight black boxer shorts. Well then. Moving onto the bed would give them all the body contact they needed for anything. With Dean it felt like he was really with Crowley. Not with a surgeon. It made Crowley want to do anything Dean wanted, even if it might be a special kind of torture painted in lust.

“So what would be your R rated desire then?”  
“Um… I…” Dean was mumbling and moved to sit on the edge of the mattress. He twisted to look at Crowley, who was laying on the bed. “Can we… get naked?”  
“Yeah! Sure. Not like you haven’t seen this before in all its glory pretty much.”  
“That wasn’t at the same time though… And you haven’t seen…well all of me… And it would only be fair…”  
“Hey, if you are uncomfortable, you can keep your underwear on. That’s fine.”  
“No, I want to.”  
“Okay”

And Dean didn’t move until Crowley hooked his fingers under the elastic of his own gray boxers. As if it had been agreed upon, they both pulled the underwear off at the same time. How did he ever get so lucky to land a Dean Winchester in his bed? The man was gorgeous. And how didn’t the said man run for the hills at the sight of his less than ideal torso? Were the tattoos distracting enough to make the slight belly disappear? That would be convenient.   
Dean got finally on the bed and laid down trying to obviously hide his erection. Silly. 

“Hey, look at me. Just tell me if you want to stop or anything. Okay?”  
“Yeah. Just… it’s stupid. I have been changing in the same space with other guys for years. And now…”   
“Well, I’d like to think this situation is a bit different.” Crowley started to caress Dean’s shoulders and sides to get him back into the mood. Or at least comfortable enough to face him. The breath escaped Dean’s lungs as he turned to Crowley onto his side.  
“There. Not bad, right?”  
“Yeah. This is good…” 

Crowley could see Dean glance down the length of his body.  
“Like what you see?”  
And the minx had the nerve to turn red at that. Which made Crowley check, how far the blush really went. Not to the toes apparently. Not even navel. Just the upper chest. But damn the rest of it made a pretty picture.  
“Yeah…”  
“Okay. Come here. Where were we before moving the party here?”  
“I… I believe you were on top of me… and… and”  
“I think you are right”

Crowley made sure to cover Dean so that their dicks were touching. He was leaning on his elbows and watching Dean’s green eyes. “Like this?”  
“…uh… yeah…”  
They were both breathless again.  
“Okay and what were we doing?”  
“Kissing. We were definitely kissing.”   
With that prompt answer Crowley started to mold his lips to Dean’s and that was all it took. Dean finally relaxed into the mattress and wound his arms behind Crowley’s neck. The kissing got heated again and Crowley experimentally started to grind into Dean. 

__________________________________________________________

Holy shit! The lack of underwear made all the difference. Dean could feel Crowley’s pubic hair on his balls. And they were both so hard Dean was expecting peculiar bruises on his lower abdomen.   
This was beyond making out. R rated for sure. Sweat made things slick and erotic. The weight of Crowley felt like one of those pressure blankets he snuck in to try at the kid’s reception next to his therapist’s office. Except lively.   
He was too hard to think straight and desperately tried to get closer and kiss deeper. He needed to move. So he started to rock his hips up into Crowley’s crotch while squeezing his arms around Crowley’s back. It was a wide back. The lips on his stopped moving and they just shared breaths touching each other’s mouths. 

Dean was getting close. Not close enough to shoot his load yet. He needed something more than friction and slick skin. And Crowley, thank god, seemed to get it as Dean whined wordlessly and shamelessly. He lifted onto his knees again. Dean’s inhibitions were gone as Crowley’s fist wrapped around both of their lined up erections and squeezed.   
He couldn’t stop the groan which was followed by a whine. And he had to say something. Whining was undignified.   
“Don’t stop! Please keep doing that… oh god.”  
Crowley’s breathing was heavy in his ears despite not having his mouth anywhere close to his face.  
“Yeah, that’s it. Dean… Won’t stop… God you look sexy.”

Crowley’s hand felt big on him and the head of Crowley’s cock kept rubbing the underside of Dean’s in a delicious way. It was hot beyond belief. He was aware of the whines he let go unwillingly. A degree of control went out the window with that. Dean clearly wasn’t on the driver’s seat here.   
Dean couldn’t figure out where to keep his hands and grabbed the sheets. He needed to squeeze something. He tried to keep his eyes open. But the last thing he could see was Crowley squinting in concentration. Then everything went white and he could hear the blood pumping in his ears and a groan escaping his own mouth. He went slack and barely registered the strangled “oh god” from Crowley, before Crowley’s hips slammed down on his. 

There was a gradual return of normal senses when Dean started to feel the wetness on his stomach. Holy shit, that was intense. Naked was great. Also sweatier than expected. Crowley was slumped half on top of Dean with his face buried in the pillow Dean was leaning on. So this was how losing control in the bedroom felt like. Crowley got his breathing under control and lifted his head to look at his partner.   
“You okay, Dean?”  
“Uh-uh… Yeah. Wow.”  
“Indeed. Am I crushing you?” He loved a post-orgasmic cuddle. Maybe Dean wouldn’t mind a man blanket for a bit.  
“No. Just… The um… mess is icky.” 

Crowley chuckled at that. The downside of sex, or anything fun really, was the clean-up. Crowley reached for the discarded undershirt next to the bed. The extent of the mess was revealed. Dean looked thoroughly fucked with cum covering his stomach and crotch. Crowley started to wipe it all off and Dean stared at him.  
“I can do that myself too.”  
“I know. Can I though? I like taking care of you.”  
Dean must have looked taken aback by the comment.   
“Unless you don’t want me to?”  
“Um… I don’t mind.”  
“Good.”  
Crowley’s shirt would be in a horrible shape after this. Dean curiously observed the man swiping the mess, trying to be gentle. 

“So, that was some great sex. Thoughts?”  
“Just… wow. Yeah. I’m a fan.” No reason to play it down. He was aware he made noises. But Crowley could hardly say anything about that. He wasn’t the only one who had gotten a bit vocal.  
“That’s good to hear. Wanna take a shower?”  
“Yeah, if that’s okay?”  
“I think I’m okay to walk now. Heh. Oh, unless you’d rather shower alone?”  
Dean thought it through. Some time to himself would be nice to process this thing. But there was time for that later. And besides, if he got freaked about it, he would rather do it in his own apartment. Now he just decided to go with it. Might as well get the whole experience when he wasn’t yet self-conscious about the whole nudity thing.   
“I don’t mind…”  
“Great, let’s conserve some water then.”

Crowley’s shower was large enough for two. The water pressure was great and soon the stall was fogged with steam. Crowley made the initial contact by starting to rub the shower gel onto Dean’s back. He gradually relaxed under firm strokes. It was completely different from anything even Lisa had done for him. It was more like a massage. Crowley turned him around and facing the man with dripping wet hair and water droplets in his eyelashes, made Dean really look at him. This was a real person without agenda of making Dean a suitable husband candidate. He couldn’t imagine Crowley making him consider changing his profession or dress more sharply. 

Dean took the shower gel and poured some on his hands. It smelled of mint. Apparently it was his turn to soap up Crowley. Crowley propped himself against the wall by his elbows and Dean could concentrate on the task at hand. He could see the tail of one of the dragons. It was weird touching another man like this. It wasn’t sexual or anything like that. That part was done for now. Was he supposed to go lower than the waist area? Maybe not. Crowley hadn’t done that to him either. Monkey see monkey do.   
Was this what guys did after sex? Porn was proving to be less helpful by the day. None of what he had seen prepared Dean for this. This man wanted to take care of him. Took care of him. Maybe this was what had been missing in Dean’s past relationships. 

“What’s on your mind, love?”  
Oh. He was a ‘love’ now. Crowley’s lover. Boyfriend.  
“Nothing. Well… Just thanks.”  
“What for?”  
Crowley looked curious as he turned to face Dean again.  
“Everything. Taking care of m-… letting me stay again…”  
“Hey, it’s actually for my benefit. Of course I want you here.”

It was such a relief to hear that. In between taking care of rinsing the soap off from their bodies and finding the fluffy towels, it really hit Dean. He had a boyfriend. A real relationship kind of boyfriend who wanted to impress Bobby and was currently putting pajamas on. Dean would be over dressed in Jeans and his T-shirt and a button down. Why hadn’t he taken a change of clothes with him?   
Before Dean got the chance to ask to borrow something, a pair of sweats and a T-shirt were handed to him.  
“Thanks…”  
“Hey, you know I love seeing you in my stuff.”

The pants were a bit bigger than the previous ones. And the T-shirt with a college logo was loose on him. But it was really soft and smelled of Crowley’s detergent. Maybe in the past he would have felt uncomfortable in another man’s clothes.   
“Bed time snack? Tea? Crackers?”  
“Whatever you’re having I guess”  
“Tea it is”  
The domestic scene of Crowley filling their mugs made Dean smile.  
“So, what are your plans for tomorrow, Crowley?”  
“I’m free all weekend, thanks to Dr. Patel”

“I was planning to head out for the range tomorrow. You wanna come along?”  
“A gun range? Am I even allowed there? I have you know that I have never even held a gun in my life”  
“Seriously? You should definitely come. I’ll be there the whole time. Make sure you don’t shoot anything vital”  
“Okay. I’m up for it.” Dean had seen Crowley at his work. This was the closest Dean could take Crowley to his. And it was something he enjoyed.   
They made their way to bed. It was almost midnight and Dean was getting tired. Relaxing into Crowley’s bed was heavenly after the sweats were discarded. This time Crowley didn’t need to prompt Dean to come closer to cuddle.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I wasn't planning to post this soon after the last installment. But the weekend was rainy. Things happen when I'm bored. As usual, any grammar fixes and comments are welcome.

Crowley woke up to Dean smiling at him.  
“Morning, love” His own voice sounded rough even to Crowley.  
“Morning. About time you woke up…”  
It wasn’t that late, was it? A glace to his alarm clock confirmed it was barely past six am.  
“And why would that be? You hungry?”  
“Not exactly…”

Did Dean actually look predatory? Oh… Okay. Horny then. The erection poking into his hip was a dead giveaway. Crowley could roll with this. Especially when Dean leaned over him for a kiss. Yeah. This was a nice way to wake up.  
“Hmmm… I like where this is going, love”  
“I like it when you call me that”  
Pulling Dean down for a kiss made the man get into a better position with his hands on either side of Crowley’s head. Their bodies were still sleep warm and relaxed. Dean showed delightful confidence and settled on top of Crowley to get that delicious full body contact.  
“Well, I’ll keep doing that then.”

Dean smiled at him and Crowley couldn’t resist putting his arms around the torso on top of his chest. Dean didn’t tense at all. Maybe the man was getting used to this. They were definitely getting somewhere. The kissing got more intense and Crowley really woke up. All of him was now awake and paying attention to the morning proceedings.  
The press of Dean’s hips into his crotch was intentional and delivered with a devious smile between kisses. The thrusting stayed lazy for the longest times. Everything was building up slowly and only after the kisses got sloppy and ceased, did Crowley open his eyes to see Dean biting his own lip. 

“You okay?”  
“…huh? Yeah… “. And the reassurance was accompanied by a pleased smirk.  
That was hot. That was amazing. The fact that Dean really enjoyed this got Crowley close to the edge, especially coupled with Dean’s lips suddenly on his neck.  
“Oh god… oh god… Keep doing that, love…”  
They gyrated against each other frantically until Crowley was past the point of no return. He grabbed Dean’s hips hard and froze when he felt the orgasm wash over him. He might have shouted or just groaned really loudly. 

He caught Dean’s curious gaze when his senses returned. The man was still hard against Crowley’s lower stomach. Something needed to be done. It was not his style to leave a partner hanging.  
Crowley reached down to Dean’s boxers and grabbed his dick quite firmly. Dean’s gasp was rewarding and the automatic closing of his eyes confirmed he was close too. It was an obvious strain on Dean’s arms to keep him propped above Crowley. So Crowley decided to make this as efficient hand job as he could. No need to tease now, he was getting tired anyway. The tight strokes combined with verbal encouragement to ‘come for me Dean’ did the trick.  
Dean let his full weight down on Crowley in one slump as his dick was still pumping cum between them. Crowley pulled his hand to safety and relaxed. He was really getting sleepy. And Dean wasn’t heavy enough to cause any discomfort to him.  
“You okay?”  
Deans mumbling sounded affirmative.  
“Wanna clean up?”  
There was no answer from Dean other than him nuzzling at Crowley’s chest and snaking his arms to Crowley’s sides. Okay then. No clean-up just yet. Thank god. He was too tired to do anything about the mess anyway.

________________________________________________________

Dean woke up to an unfamiliar wetness and Crowley stroking his hair.  
“Hey…”  
“Good morning, Dean”  
Crowley’s hand stayed in his hair.  
“What time is it?”  
“Eight am. Are you hungry?”  
“Yeah… and ugh… in need of a shower. Should have taken care of this earlier.”

Getting up was awkward. The semen had dried between them and while most had been absorbed by their underwear, anything outside of them had glued the pair together.  
“AUGH! Hell, that stings! Let’s never leave clean-up for later. You have my permission to drag me to shower no matter how out of it I seem to be.”  
“Agreed.”  
They showered separately and with maximum efficiency. Seeing each other naked was still a novelty, and Dean took in the view of Crowley showering while brushing his teeth at the sink. The tattoos were still interesting. He hadn’t had the chance to study them properly yet. Seeing how the water cascaded down Crowley’s wide back was an especially aesthetic view. He was snapped out of it, when Crowley turned off the water and suddenly Dean’s eyes feasting on the delectable ass were pointed at Crowley’s dick.

“Enjoy the show?”  
“Ah… Sorry.”  
“No need to be apologetic. Lord knows I stared you down just a few minutes ago. Although I bet that was a far better view than what you just got.”  
Crowley was smiling. Which didn’t match with the self-deprecation.  
“Hey, don’t. I love the way you look. All manly and cuddly… Please don’t put yourself down. I don’t like to hear that…”  
“Oh. Okay. Sorry. It kind of comes naturally”  
“Well it shouldn’t. I like you. Not some idealized ass hole who lives at the gym”

Dean could see a small smile on Crowley’s face before he disappeared back to his closet.  
“Can I borrow underwear? The uh… mess…”  
“Of course, second drawer from the right in the dresser.”  
Going through someone's clothes was weird. The boxers were organized diligently by color. Picking a pair on random was the best bet. They were a bit big on him, but would do for the time being. His jeans were a bit too snug on them and there would be interesting creases on his ass by the time he got these off.  
“You up for an omelet?”  
“Always… you know that.”

Crowley was puttering around in the kitchen and Dean watched with interest how he put four eggs in one and two in the other.  
“Why’d you do that?”  
“What?”  
“Put more eggs in one”  
“Oh. It’s for you. You seem to be hungrier in the mornings than me.”  
Crowley had been looking at his eating? Was that a compliment or creepy? Dean did like the omelets.  
“Okay… So do you still want to go to the range today?”  
“Yeah. I’d like that”  
“Cool. I’ll need to stop at home to get my gun and stuff. We should go there around noon, maybe catch lunch after.”  
“Are you asking me out on a date?”  
Dean smiled at that.  
“Yeah. I think I am. How am I doing?”  
“Very well. I am a sure catch with this manly activity meet-up”  
“Hey if you would rather go out for a pedicure, I am all up for it”  
Crowley laughed and plated the omelets. Dean was salivating already. 

Sam was on the phone when Dean got back to the apartment. The coffee and the now traditional omelet had hit a spot and it would have been nice to just stay and have a lazy Saturday. The make out session at 7am had been delightful and the orgasm put him out for another hour. But he had to change clothes and get his gun for the rink.  
“Oh wait, Dean just got in”  
Sam handed the phone to him mouthing ‘Bobby’. Great. Shit. He was still thinking about the sex he had with Crowley. Please let there be no signs of ‘just had sex with a man’ in Dean’s voice.

“How you doing son? Ain’t heard of ya in a while.”  
“Sorry Bobby. Busy with work.”  
“Heard you are finally going out again. Good on ya. Not healthy sitting alone at home all your life.”  
Shit. Murderous stare pointed at Sam got a confused answering look.  
“…um… I guess…” At least they didn’t use Skype. Dean could feel the blush warming his cheeks.  
“Should come visit next week. Got a fresh buck in the freezer. Enough meat to take back to the city too.”  
“…yeah… sounds good.”  
“Is there something goin’ on? Ya sound off.”  
Dammit.  
“No, I’m great. Just tired.”  
“Well that’s what going out on the weekend does to ya. Welcome to bein’ old.”  
“Hah…thanks. We’ll come by next week. I have to go, here’s Sam.”

Dean escaped to his room for a fresh pair of jeans and underwear. And if he chose one of his tighter shirts for the shooting rink, it could have been a coincidence. He liked wearing the gray Henley. Packing an overnight bag… Would that be presumptuous? Or clingy? He had accidentally left with Crowley’s T-shirt on him. It was comfortable and smelled nice. Was this why his past girlfriends had stolen his clothes?  
Sam was hanging to the door frame of Dean’s room when he turned around.  
“What?”  
“Are you going to tell Bobby next weekend?”  
“Maybe. Yeah. Why?”  
“That’s great. I really think it will make you feel better”  
“I feel fine now”  
“Yeah, apart from the weirdness on the phone with Bobby.”

Well that was true. No reason Sammy needed to know that though.  
“I’m just tired…”  
“No you’re not. I saw you skipping on the parking lot. You were all smiles, when you got in.”  
Dammit.  
“Fine. Just don’t worry about me, okay. I have a date later. And you must have other things to do apart from mothering me.”  
“Okay. But you know I’ll be there. If anything goes wonky, I’ll side with you. I mean it. Anything.”  
“Oh…you...”  
“Yeah.”

This was big. Sam considered Bobby their father. And he would give that up for Dean. Before he knew it, Sam was in his room and hugging him. They didn’t usually do this. How horrible did Dean actually look to inspire this in his little brother? He was shaken by Bobby’s call for some reason. Well… Because he knew he would have to confess to their father figure his… orientation? Bobby wasn’t his father though. It would be fine either way. He was over thirty years old. He was an adult and didn’t need a parent anymore.  
Sam released him and Dean cleared his throat to mask the fact that he actually had choked up a bit. Just a bit.

“Okay? You have a date to go to, right? With Crowley?”  
“Yeah. We’re heading to the range and lunch. Why?”  
“Well…are you going to come back home after or just… you know…”  
“I… I don’t know.”  
“It’s just that I worry. Could you just text me or something?”  
“Yeah, sure.”  
“Thanks, bro”

____________________________________________________

Crowley had a problem. He was nervous around guns. Well… not entirely true. He had never really been around guns to see how he felt about it. Going to a shooting rink with his ex-military boyfriend might not be the best place to learn that either. Especially after piecing together Dean’s friend after a shooting incident.  
But Dean was already at his door. There was no backing out of this now. At least gracefully. They piled into Dean’s car and started the trek to the rink, supposedly half an hour outside the city limits. It was a cold day and Crowley could see ice crystals forming on the side windows.  
“You seem more quiet than usual. Is everything okay?”

At least Dean had to pay attention to the road. It made the awkward confession more bearable for Crowley. Because there was no way he was risking making an ass out of himself in public without at least some sort of warning for Dean.  
“Yeah. Just… I have to tell you, I haven’t been around guns. And don’t know how well I will do with them…”  
“That’s cool. So your dad didn’t hunt or anything?”  
“God no. The closest I ever come to a gun is digging out the bullets from people on Saturday nights”  
Dean pulled onto the side of the road. And Crowley had a brief moment of terror about being dumped onto the highway. Of course that was ridiculous. Dean actually looked worried.  
“Are you okay with going? We can turn back, no harm in it, if you are uncomfortable.”  
“No, I still want to go. Just giving you the heads up in case I freak out or something.”  
“You sure?”

“Yeah. I trust you know what you’re doing with your military training.”  
“As long as you’re sure you want to do this.”  
“I’m sure. Will we use the thing you did in Iraq?”  
“Oh. No, the sniper rifles are not really allowed in these civilian facilities.”  
Dean pulled back onto the road with a slight smile. Maybe he liked that Crowley was interested in his past.  
“Wait, you used a… sniper rifle?”  
“Yeah, didn’t I mention…? Maybe I didn’t actually. I was a sniper. Long distance sharpshooting mainly.”  
“Okay… okay. That’s a… a very specific thing to do, right? So you are really good with weapons?”  
“Well, I have been trained for a bunch and have better than average accuracy.”  
At least he would be in capable hands. A sniper. Why hadn’t he asked Dean about his army experiences sooner? This was fucking relevant information. Steering clear of any topic that could trigger PTSD had seemed like a great idea. He hadn’t thought about the loss of significant information.

“Wow.”  
“Oh come on. It’s like your little thing with being a surgeon. Just a subtype of soldier to me.”  
“Okay… still needs a bit of digesting…”  
“Well feel free to digest at your own pace.”  
Dean grabbed a case from the trunk of the car and they entered the sales room of the rink. It was warmer in there and there was a peculiar smell in the air.  
Dean obviously knew the man behind the counter. They talked for a bit among themselves before Dean pulled Crowley to the counter.  
“Okay, I have teaching rights here, so all you have to do is sign the waiver. We’ll get you started with a small caliber rifle and you can try my handgun too to get an idea of both types. Sound good?”  
Crowley nodded as he took to reading the paperwork and sloppily signing them. The cashier grabbed a shot gun looking weapon from the cabinet and handed it to Dean. They made their way to the actual shooting area with stalls on one side and targets on the other. There were few tough looking guys shooting away and even one house wife looking lady. It was louder than he had expected.

“Okay, put the earmuffs and eye wear on and we can get started”  
Dean showed him how to hold the rifle and check if it was loaded. It wasn’t as heavy as he expected and Dean obviously knew what he was doing every step of the way. When it was time to pull the trigger, Dean warned him about the kick, but it still managed to surprise him. He did hit the paper target though. Nowhere near the center, but still.  
Crowley found he was not too nervous about the guns. It was the people with the guns. The man next to their booth seemed aggressive. He was shooting repeatedly at a human shaped target. He tried to ignore the slight fear. Dean fixed his position multiple times and Crowley’s aim got better. He could see how this was a nice pastime. Improving one’s performance and the variety of weapons would make this a rewarding hobby. 

Dean must have noticed his discomfort with their neighbor. He pulled Crowley close to himself and removed the earmuffs to whisper in his ear.  
“That is the chief of police. He practices here every Saturday. The repeat shots are probably to calibrate the sight on his weapon.”  
Immediately Crowley breathed deeper and felt more relaxed.  
“Thanks.”  
“Don’t mention it. You are doing great. I can understand how that kind of intense shooting right next to you might be a bit scary.”  
They moved to Dean’s personal weapon next. It was interesting to observe how Dean handled the piece comfortably as an extension of his arm. Both eyes open and in a relaxed stance. Like he was about to flip a burger on the grill instead of shooting a weapon meant for killing. 

The handle was still warm from Dean’s hands. And it was really light. Concealed carry indeed. He could have this thing in his coat pocket without it being obvious. And damn it was harder to keep aimed at the target. It moved with his shaky hands and seemed to have just enough kick to make him re-adjust his stance every time he fired.  
In movies and TV, it seems really sexy when someone fixes your shooting position. Crowley was aware of Dean doing it. But he was too concentrated on the actual shooting and a bit freaked out about wielding the power to kill in his hands, to get any extra kicks out of it. When they were done and Dean had had his dose of shooting in, Dean actually gathered the target Crowley had used and folded it for Crowley to take with him. 

“Hey, you did great. You hit the target multiple times with two different guns.”  
“Thanks… I think my hands are still clammy after trying to hold your handgun in place.”  
They piled back into the Impala and Crowley finally noted that his hands were shaking. It must have been the adrenalin rush… It was peculiar. He didn’t feel scared or stressed anymore, but the shaking still continued. Dean noticed it right away.  
“Are you okay? I’m sorry if this was too much.”  
“No, it’s just adrenaline I think. I liked it really. It was awesome to see you in your element for a change.”  
“Well as long as you’re okay.”  
“I’m okay. And a bit hungry.”  
“There’s a decent diner just a few miles from here. Sound good?”  
“Yeah.”

They were seated with the burgers in front of them in a booth.  
“I didn’t think I would like shooting as much as I did”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah once the maniac next to us was identified as a cop, it was actually fun.”  
“I didn’t even think about that. Sorry.”  
“No harm in it.”  
“So did I fail in choosing a dating venue?”  
“Absolutely not! Especially considering I have been trying to hide a half-boner for the past hour. You really looked rather fetching at the rink and all that… clearly in your comfort zone”  
Dean’s smile was delighted. 

____________________________________________

The ride back seemed shorter than the trip to the rink had been. When would it be appropriate to ask if they were going to be sleeping in the same bed again?  
They were stopped at a light at the edge of the city.  
“So… where to?” Seemed like a vague enough question. Crowley smiled at him and Dean felt the eyes on him even when checking for the light.  
“Well… since we have been at my place mostly, it might be your turn to have the home turf advantage so to speak”  
Dean had to smile at that. So they were going to be together for a bit longer at least. And there had been a mention of an erection.  
“You sure? Sam will likely be there at some point.”  
“Well. He didn’t seem to mind before at all. As long as we remember to close the door…”

“What?”  
“You remember when I brought you home from the hospital? We got to bed and pretty much passed out in the morning.”  
“Yeah…”  
“So you sleep really heavily. I don’t. I woke up to your little brother closing your bedroom door. Around 10am.”  
“Oh shit… Did he look mad?”  
It was unlikely. Sam would have said something.  
“Nah… I think he seemed pleased with himself. I don’t know. Awkward as hell though.”  
“Well, he also took a picture of us when you were leaving…”  
“Really? Why?”  
“As blackmail material or something I guess…”  
“But a picture of us in bed would have been far more incriminating. Why not take that? Oh, or did he?”  
“No! I made sure. Something to do with me not being able to deny having a boyfriend. He’s weird like that. Must be the whole not telling him at first, that was eating him up still.”  
“Was it an okay picture though?”

Dean smirked at that. There was something to be said about Crowley and photos.  
“Yeah it was okay.”  
“You think I could get a copy then?”  
“You’ll have to ask Sammy. And what is it with you and photos of us?”  
“I just like to have them. To remind myself. It makes me happy looking at them…”  
“Remind you about what?”  
Dean pulled into his habitual parking spot in front of his building and turned to Crowley.  
The man seemed embarrassed.  
“That you actually are with me.”  
Oh that was sad on some level. Dean imagined Crowley alone in his office or apartment, looking at his phone. His concern must have shown.  
“And obviously for bragging. You know, normal stuff. Nothing sinister, I promise.”  
“You know I’m with you. I like you. I think you are the best pretty much”  
Crowley’s blush was accompanied by a smile. They got out of the car and to the apartment door.  
“And if you want some worthwhile pictures of me, all you needed to do was ask.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. As long as you don’t sell them or something.”

__________________________________________

Sam was reading at the kitchen table and was startled when Dean and Crowley barged in.  
“Oh, hi Crowley! Good date?”  
Why did he ask that?! Idiot. They probably wanted to be alone. It was a bit weird that Crowley actually answered.  
“Yeah. It was great. Your brother is an excellent shooter.”  
Okay. Way to play to your strengths, Dean. I bet there was inappropriate amount of stance adjustments.  
“That he is. So what are you guys up to?”

Dean seemed to look to Crowley for the answer before facing Sam again.  
“Not sure. Maybe a night in. Here. If you don’t mind?”  
“Hey, it’s your place. You should have your boyfriend over as often as you want.”  
Sam hoped he sounded sincere. He really was. And also intrigued by the whole relationship. It would be interesting to observe them.  
“Thanks, dude.”  
“No problem.”

Dean whispered something to Crowley and disappeared into his bedroom. Crowley seemed to steel himself and made his way to the dining table.  
“Thanks for… you know. Closing the bedroom door the other day”  
He was awake enough to remember that? Well this could be weird.  
“Ah… no problem. Thought you guys might freak if it was left open and… yeah.”  
“Hey, I really appreciate it. And Dean mentioned there was a picture you took of us that day?”

Shit. That was probably a breach of privacy and Crowley was now going to politely berate him.  
“So sorry about that, I should delete it right away! See here… I’ll just…”  
“No! Don’t! It’s fine. It really is. I just wanted to see it. And maybe get a copy of it?”  
What? Well this was unexpected.  
Sam flicked his phone open and handed it to Crowley with the picture open.  
The man smiled and tilted his head like a dog. His face seemed to soften.  
This man was really into Dean. That was the face of a man in love. Did Dean know?

Crowley must have just sent the photo to himself. The phone was warm from Crowley’s hands when it was put back in Sam’s. Dean called Crowley to join him to watch TV. Sam decided to give them their privacy and went to his room. It was weird. Usually it was him with a girl in his room and Dean making suffering faces and unnecessary amount of noise in the kitchen.  
After a few hours he wandered back to the kitchen. The living room was empty. And Dean’s door was closed. Okay then. His brother was doing things in his bedroom. With a man. Were they just sleeping? Like they were on Wednesday morning? There was a snippet of laughter. Okay. Not sleeping then. Oh God, was he actually listening to his brother have sex?! Were they? It wasn’t even dark out yet. Not that it was a requirement really. But still. An afternoon delight? That sounded so domestic. And Sam needed to stop listening. There was no contrasting high pitch giggles he was used to. Just the rumble of another guy’s voice. 

Sam liked to think they were just having a conversation. The stretches of quiet did not bode well with this theory. But avoidance was the best practice now. There was no way he was going to stick around to hear the headboard banging against the wall or anyone groaning. Grabbing a glass of water and changing his banana for an apple for obvious reasons, Sam sealed himself into his room.

_______________________________________________________

Wow. Lazy afternoon blowjob was an amazing way to kill time before ordering dinner. Crowley’s mouth was magic. And Dean didn’t even have to reciprocate as Crowley had blown his load way earlier when they were making out on the bed. That might have been a disaster. Should he actually learn how to do that? How did one practice? Did he need to buy a dildo?  
That was a distressing thought. Where would he go to get one? Online? One of those porn stores downtown? Whatever. He was relaxed and Crowley was next to him again.  
“So… that was amazing.”  
“Glad you liked it.”  
Crowley seemed a bit self-satisfied and very smug. Dean tried not to think how he had gotten that good at… this. How much experience exactly did Crowley have?  
“Lots of practice?”  
“Are you insinuating that I’m a slut?”

Crowley was smiling at him, so it obviously wasn’t offended.  
“God no! Not like I have been chaste by any means. Just curious.”  
“Well I had a few very informative experiences.”  
“So do you want me to… reciprocate?”  
“Only if you want to give it a go sometime. You seem against it…? Bad prior experience?”  
“No… To be honest, I might have freaked, if Benny did that or made me do it.”  
Crowley turned to look at Dean’s prone form on the bed.  
“Was that your first blowjob from a guy?”  
“…yeah. Why?”

“Wow… okay. Surprising though.”  
And the smile on Crowley’s face got wider.  
“The first guy to give you a blowjob. I like the title. I should have that added to my office door: Dr. Crowley McLeod, M.D., Dean Winchester’s first gay bj.”  
Dean grinned at that. Ridiculous. He had had a girl or two do that before. It wasn’t anything that new. Well the occasional brush of stubble at his balls was definitely a departure from the usual. 

“Do you want to do something? We could… I don’t know. Go out for dinner? Or to the movies?”  
“Well I remember you mentioning being open to some photos? Private viewing only, of course.”  
Right. This weirdness. To be fair, Lisa had insisted on some couple-y shots at different places they visited, or went to on a date. Still, might be better to play it safe. Sam’s accidental finding of his phone and the photo of Crowley still fresh in his mind.  
“Okay… But I keep my pants on… And nothing too scandalous.”  
Crowley had his phone at ready and before Dean even noticed, the flash went off.  
“Hey! I wasn’t ready!”  
“Oh but it turned out nice. See?”

It was just Dean’s face in the backdrop of the sheets. Nothing special. But Crowley seemed happy about it. Well finally Dean had an easy to please partner.  
“That it?”  
“For now, yeah.”  
“So just a lame ass picture of my face? That does it for you?”  
“Indeed. Don’t forget though. This is Dean Winchester after his first gay blowjob. Makes all the difference to me.”  
It looked like just a picture Dean could have taken himself any day. And the whole post-orgasmic flush had probably gone a while back. Probably. 

They ended up making dinner at the apartment. Dean didn’t feel like putting real pants on anyway. And Sam conveniently appeared to scavenge on the left over pasta.  
“So Crowley, will you survive without the boyfriend here next weekend?”  
“What?”  
Great. Thanks Sam.  
“We are going to Bobby’s for his birthday. Sorry, I forgot to tell you…”  
“Hey, don’t sweat it, love. I’ll be at work”  
Sam seemed to have picked on the ‘love’. He looked like he was going to say something and then decided against it. Instead he grinned. That grin meant a streak of teasing as soon as Crowley left.  
“We’re gonna leave on Friday after Sam’s last class… and I’ll back on Monday night…”  
“Hey family’s important. I really get that.”  
Crowley’s hand in his convinced Dean more than the words. 

When they were alone in Dean’s bedroom, ready to get to bed, Crowley approached the subject of visiting Bobby. Dean was already under the covers taking in the tattooed man getting into the T-shirt Dean had accidentally stolen earlier.  
“So… Is this the visit you’re going to tell Bobby?”  
There was no use playing dumb.  
“Yeah. I think so.”  
“Call me, okay? I need to be sure you’re okay. Whatever happens.”  
“Oh…sure.”  
“I mean it. Anytime. Just leave a message, if I’m at work.”  
“Okay…”  
Crowley seemed concerned. Which made Dean concerned. At least there was a whole week before he had to face that particular dragon. Nothing like cuddling with the boyfriend to avoid thinking about the whole thing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a bit of a dry spell on this piece, but now we are back in business. Feedback is appreciated as always, and any grammar fixes are welcome.

Dean was driving the last leg of their long Friday night trek to Bobby’s house. It was almost midnight when they finally got there. Bobby was up though. No avoiding the knowing gaze of the old man.   
“Well ya made it then…”  
Sam hugged Bobby as always. Dean pretended to be busy with his bags and just offered an awkward smile.  
“Why don’t ya boys get to bed? Must be exhausted after drivin'.”  
Sam dragged himself upstairs and immediately got horizontal. Dean took his time looking at the room he spent the few years before college and enrolling to military. This could be the last he would see of it, if things went to hell. He couldn’t fall asleep. The tension was driving him mad. Putting on the sweats he brought with him and a Henley to stave off the cool air downstairs, he made his way to the fridge. Nothing looked good, even the plate of bacon. And Dean loved bacon. 

“Hungry then?”  
Bobby’s comment scared the shit out of Dean. The man should have been asleep - not sitting in the living room.   
“Yeah… or something.”  
Bobby got up and actually got a glass of whiskey for Dean.  
“'This the ‘something’?”  
“Maybe…”  
Dean couldn’t take it anymore. The tension felt like a choking collar. He couldn’t fall asleep. He couldn’t eat. It would have to be now. He could just drive to a motel few miles down the highway, if it came to that. He needed to sleep. And needed to know.   
“So ya seem all weird.”   
No shit, Bobby. I’m so weird, your church going friends will burn me on a cross.   
“…hmm…” Really? Not even words? Way to go Dean…  
“Something happen?”  
“Ah…maybe”  
“Ya in trouble?”  
“No. Not really” 

He couldn’t even look at Bobby. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words.  
“Do I need ta keep guessing at it?”  
Dean folded his arms on the kitchen table and put his head down. It felt like he was going to lose consciousness or puke. Finally he just mumbled ‘I’m seeing someone’ barely loud enough for Bobby to hear.  
“Okay. And is it not going well then?”

Dean rested his cheek on his arms to make it easier to produce words audible to Bobby.  
“No it’s really great… he’s really great…”  
And this was when Dean stopped breathing. The urge to vomit increased when he heard Bobby clear his throat and get up from his chair. He closed his eyes and opened them only after Bobby asked him to. The man sat on the spare chair next to Dean and was leaning on his knees to get closer and face Dean.  
“So what’s the problem, son?”  
Dean actually had to lift his head up. Was Bobby laughing? “What?”  
“Did ya think I’d be angry?”  
“Well…”  
“Just cuz I’m a redneck, doesn’t mean I’m an asshole”  
“I thought…”  
“Well clearly ya didn’t. As long as yer happy and all that, good by me.”

Bobby patted Dean’s head and got up to pour another round of whiskeys. And Dean just sat there. He downed the glass as soon as it was put in front of him.   
“So it doesn’t bother you that I’m bi or something? Really?”  
“You kids think ya invented this gay thing. So how is this man of yours? Do I know ‘im?”  
“What do you mean, do you know him?”  
“Back in the day ya seemed pretty close with that Alistair boy…”  
“No! This is pretty recent… like Iraq recent…”  
“So he was deployed with you?”

“No… he lives in the city. He’s a doctor.”  
“Huh. How did that happen?”  
“Met him in the ER and later in a bar”  
“What were ya doin’ in the ER?”  
“Wasn’t me. Sam had an… accident.”  
“And how is this the first I hear from this?”  
Bobby didn’t seem mad. Maybe a bit disappointed.   
“I think you should ask Sammy that… Not my tale to tell really.”

“But you met this ‘friend’ of yours there. Okay. So how is he?”  
“His name is Crowley. And he’s…”  
Dean wanted to say ‘everything’. And that would have been too clichéd and stupid.   
“…really nice. I… I don’t know. He’s normal and practical. And makes these amazing omelets.”  
“Should have known you’d be the one to go for the food. Always were hanging onto the fridge”  
Bobby seemed genuinely happy for him. Dean gave him a small cautious smile.   
“I took him shooting last weekend. He was scared shitless, but still did it.”  
“Good on ‘im”  
“Yeah. He’s good. He’s great.”  
“Well. It’s almost 1 am, son. I need beauty sleep more than ya. Might be a good idea for ya too.”

After laying down on his bed, Dean wondered about this whole coming out thing. Didn’t seem to be too bad. Just stressful when you didn’t know. And maybe he got lucky. No-one had been an asshole about it. Yet. And it finally registered – Bobby called him son. Maybe it was too long since he had heard that. Maybe that was why there was extra warmth at the pit of his stomach. Or maybe that was the whiskey.

_________________________________________________________________________

Sam was a bit pissed. Getting an interrogation for breakfast was not fun. Dean predictably spilled something about the whole Ruby thing and the ER visit. Trying to give the least amount of detail and getting a stern ‘tell someone Sammy’ from Bobby got his morning mood ruined. He didn’t want to bring that whole mess up again. It was bad enough that Dean knew as much as he did. It wasn’t like Bobby was disappointed or anything. Sam just couldn’t deal with the pity.   
Waking Dean with an obnoxious amount of noise was in order. 

“Dean! Dean! Dean! Up and at ‘em!”  
His big brother looked like shit getting up in a slight panic.   
“What?! Sam?”  
“Dude, what happened to you? Not sleeping?”  
“No, had some whiskey last night with Bobby… And why’d you have to drag me up now?”  
“You deserved this for blabbing to Bobby about the ER visit. Why would you do that anyway?”  
“He asked how I met Crowley. Was I supposed to lie?”  
“Wait, you told Bobby last night?”  
“Yeah”  
“And he was fine with it, right? I told you so!”  
“Yeah, yeah. Stop bragging. And help me get the gift into the house while you’re at it, will you?”  
Getting the TV into the house was a chore only because Sam decided it needed to be a surprise.   
“Really? Covering it with a rug does nothing! Except make it impossible to comfortably grab this thing.”  
“It’s a birthday present! It should be a surprise.”

“What are you boys doing?”  
Bobby’s appearance was less than ideal.   
“Nothing, Bobby. Go back inside.”  
“Sammy, looks like you could use a hand.”  
“Absolutely not!”  
And of course Dean had to open his mouth.  
“It’s your birthday present, Bobby. Missy here has the ludicrous idea that it has to be a surprise. I figured a TV is a TV… This is just extra work…”  
“Dean, you ass!”  
“What? It’s true…”

Bobby laughed a bit and ended up giving them a hand in sliding the screen into the living room.   
Retaliation for ruining the surprise was in order. Bobby being okay with this offered Sam new ways to torture Dean though. Making his way down to the kitchen armed with his phone, Sam plopped down next to their host.   
“Happy birthday, Bobby.”  
“Thanks Sammy. You didn’t really have to do all this”  
“We wanted to. And your TV is older than Dean. Needed to be changed.”  
“Hey, still young Sammy. You’re not that far behind me either, you dick!”

“Well you just look young because of the company you keep… see here you do look like a sweet young thing hanging onto Crowley the way you are…”  
The shot of Dean and Crowley in their hallway saying goodbye was brought to Bobby’s attention. Naturally Dean blushed and Bobby looked a bit confused. And then Bobby took the phone for a closer look. The silence was unexpected. Bobby’s forehead gathered more wrinkles as he concentrated on Sam’s phone. 

______________________________________________________________________

Sammy you little shit! Bobby might be fine with the theory of Dean having a boyfriend. Rubbing his face in it might be too much. Dean stared at Sam with murderous intent. His heartrate went through the roof as the seconds passed and Bobby still hadn’t said anything.  
“Dean, how old is this fella?”  
Well that was a left field question.  
“Forty. Why…?”  
“Seems to me he could… ya know… have an advantage over… whatever it is you guys do…”  
“What? Bobby, whatever you are thinking stop! No!”  
Was Bobby insinuating that Crowley was using Dean? For sex? No-one should be thinking about Dean’s sex life apart from Dean! Sammy was in for the slapping of his lifetime.  
“The age difference alone…”  
“What happened to ‘As long as you’re happy’ stuff?”  
“Nothin’. Just worried. You said it’s rather new development. Don’t want you getting in over ya head…”

This was by far the most humiliating discussion. The air seemed filled with tension. And Sam, the little snitch, escaped the table. Dean could still remember ‘the talk’ his dad had given him when he was fifteen. This felt the same, but worse. Hiding his head in his folded arms seemed like a great solution.  
“Bobby, there’s nothing to worry about! Nobody’s getting in anywhere…”  
“So ya mean you are not…”  
“No! Stop talking about this! Fine, I’m a fucking virgin! Doesn’t mean I’m a just going to bend over and…” Well shit. That escalated and revealed information Bobby would have probably been better without.

“Okay then. As long as this Crowley person isn’t taking advantage”  
“He really isn’t. The only person who has ever explicitly asked for consent for everything... like everything. He wouldn’t… you know... anything, if I had more than a beer. And he asks… all the time, if I’m okay with whatever…”  
“Well, a gentleman then. That calms one’s mind marginally. You sure there’s not something wrong with ‘im?”  
“He’s all fine. And what’s with the whole ‘he will abuse you’ and then ‘something’s wrong’, when he doesn’t? Is this what you would tell girls? Just so you know: I can take care of myself, Bobby.”  
“Sorry, sorry. Just never had to worry about this sort of thing…”  
And now Bobby looked embarrassed as hell too. Thanks Sammy for providing this circus act for the morning entertainment. No wonder the father of his first girlfriend had been tense as fuck. Bobby was exhibiting similar behavior over Dean.   
“You don’t have to worry, Bobby.”  
“Oh, I always worry, son.”

Maybe it would be better for Bobby to have at least some information. Might keep him from imagining things.  
“We go out sometimes. It’s really like back in high school. Well, partially. We stay at his place or mine over night when we’re both off work. And he knows I’m… new to some of this stuff.”  
Bobby was eyeing Sam’s phone again. At least there was only that one picture there. And all in all, it wasn’t really incriminating. Dean decided to take all of the power to his turf and showed the picture of Crowley he had on his own phone. The one taken after the first night they spent together. 

“I just don’t want the same sort of thing happening to you that happened to Sammy. I know he didn’t tell me everything. But seems like there were some mind games afoot there. And you might be able to physically defend yourself, but the mental stuff could take you by surprise…”  
“I know. I promise to say something, if things get weird.”  
Bobby was still eyeing Crowley’s photo. 

“Just be careful. Ya seem to be into this guy. And I have never seen ya like this before. So excuse me for being off balance…”  
“Honestly, I was off balance for a bit too. Just, don’t worry too much. I’m good.”  
“He ain’t a looker though…”  
“What?”  
“He’s not pretty… at least this thing is unlikely to be about looks. Good on you Dean.”  
“Bobby! If I wanted ‘pretty’, I’d date a girl.”  
The chuckle from Bobby made Den relax a bit.   
“Do you think I have gone for the looks in the past then?”  
“Can’t say that any of your girlfriends has been anything but pretty. And no offense, but for some that was the only thing going for them.”  
“That’s rude…”  
Although Dean saw the truth in it. And did that make him a superficial dick or what?

_______________________________________________________________________

Crowley was driving back home from his day shift. Saturdays were the worst. Well, Saturday nights were the worst. Dr. Patel had been annoying as hell. He was rude and dismissive all of the sudden. Patronizing was putting g it mildly. Staff meeting had been a lesson in self-control.  
And Dean hadn’t called or texted. Either things went fine and there is nothing to report. Or they went really badly. Or nothing has been revealed to Bobby at all. Not being there was the hardest part for Crowley. He liked to be present when he was undoubtedly going to be judged. 

The apartment was dark. Did his weekend usually feel this empty? Or was this just a weird sexual frustration thing? Getting a burger at the Blackstone’s seemed like a reasonable idea. Making a meal just for himself felt like waste of energy at this point. And since he was definitely a taken man, no need to dress nicer than his normal work clothes.   
A busy Saturday night was not the best for just a quick meal and Crowley compromised by getting the whole thing to go. No need to suffer through the inevitable crowd and noise. He had just excited the bar when he noticed Dr. Patel staring straight at him through a shop window. Apparently his colleague had a hankering for the artisanal ice-cream sold next door to Blackstone’s. Waving his hand and nodding politely, Crowley made his way to his apartment. No reason to chat with an asshole from work. He had more than enough of that during the day.

Finally after 9pm, his phone buzzed. Dean’s text were the least informative communications he had read in his life. Just the bare minimum.   
‘Told Bobby. He’s okay.’  
Great. Dean really needed to work on this phone communication.  
‘But are YOU okay? Miss you.’  
‘Yeah. Miss you too. Driving back tomorrow night.’  
Well okay. Impersonal and to the point as always. Maybe a phone call would be a better way to say ‘good night’…

So laying down on the bed, Crowley dialed Dean.   
“Hello?” Didn’t Dean check his caller ID before answering.  
“Well hello, love. It’s me, your boyfriend.”  
“Heh… Yeah, I know it’s you.”  
“Are you busy?”  
“No, just getting into bed. Why?”  
“Thought I’d call you. Your texting leaves too much to the imagination.”  
“Isn’t that a good thing?”  
“It is, if there is enough to guide the imagination to a pleasant path.”  
“Oh. Well… I don’t know what to say to that.”  
“We need more practice. Or maybe just voicemails.”  
“That sounds difficult. We could just call…”  
“And thus, this interaction here was my choice of bedtime communication.”

The dramatic silence prompted Crowley to fill it.   
“So. Bobby was okay then?”  
“Yeah. He… I don’t know. He just was fine with it… eventually.”  
“Eventually?”  
“Had to convince him I wasn’t being… uh pressured or anything. Might have gone too far with some information…”  
“What information? Did you happen to mention my ‘advanced’ experience in all things gay? Which is not as advanced as you might think…”  
“No. And I really don’t care about that. Just the age difference… and all that. Now I know how the fathers of all my girlfriends must have been like. Quite a mind flip that one…”  
“Well… does it bother you?” Please, please don’t dump me on the phone. God, what if Dean got freaked out by the obviously implicated unfair power dynamics?   
“No. I actually like that you know what you’re doing…”

“Well that is a relief.” Crowley settled deeper into his pillows and drew the comforter over his chest.   
“Wait, are you actually in bed?”  
“Yes. It was a long day at work, Dean. You know I’m no longer twenty”  
“I was just wondering…”  
“And you were getting into bed too. You have no leg to stand on, love.”  
“Touché. Although I wasn’t… um planning to sleep quite yet.”  
“Oh… do tell.”  
This sounded intriguing. Or could be just meditation or something.  
Dean’s nervous chuckle gave it away. Masturbation then? That was a bit hot.   
“So do you want me to let you go, or…?” Please be open to this, I really need to come all of the sudden.

“Oh! Um… no?”  
“Not sounding too sure, love. You can tell me to fuck off, and I’ll be fine. Phone sex is not for everyone, Dean.”  
“I really haven’t… thought about this. What… How does this go usually?”  
“However you want it to go. But just so you know, my hand is in my pants.”  
A short laugh and an inhale on Dean’s end sounded promising.  
“So, I guess I should ask what you are wearing or something?”  
“You can tell me whatever you want, love. And I’m only wearing boxers and a T-shirt, if you really wanted to know.”  
“Well okay, I am wearing your sweatpants.”  
Oh. Oh that was actually hot. And cute. But mainly hot.   
“I mean, I was supposed to bring them back before coming here but-“  
“That is hot as hell, love.”  
“Oh… okay then.”   
“Seriously. I think I dribbled a bit.”

“Well my hand is in your pants now too… so you are not alone in that.”  
Was this some sort of imaginary hand job? Was Dean referring to a pretend situation?  
“Wait, are you touching my dick or…?”  
“No, I’m wearing your pants…”  
“Right you are. Right… Any chance of you sending a photo of that?”  
“Nope. Hand is busy.”

The playfulness was nice. At least Dean was enjoying this too.   
“Fair enough. And how does that feel then, love?”  
“Oh… Good. Great. Well… better with you.”  
Aww… didn’t that just warm up Crowley’s heart and groin.  
“Well I would hope so. No use for me, if you can do all of it on your own.”  
“Oh I can name a few things only you can do to me…” The sharp inhale on the phone line got Crowley rock hard. Stroking in time with Dean’s breathing was an excellent idea.   
“Like wrapping my lips around your dick? You like that?”  
“Oh… Yeah…”

Just hearing the suddenly shallow breathing was intoxicating. Crowley imagined Dean with the pants half off and clutching the pillow as he stroked himself. Reaching for the lube in the bedside table was a necessary break from the mental image.   
“Tell me, what your favorite part is?”  
“… when you… ah… you touch my… nipples while jerking me of…”  
Okay then. Dean sounded close to the edge. Which made Crowley’s breathing all kinds of erratic.  
“Touch your nipple for me, love”   
And all Crowley could hear was a long whine and a grunt. Well, that was easier than he thought.   
“Holy shit, Crowley. I had no idea…”  
The breathless Dean sounded great. And nothing got Crowley going easier than an implied compliment in the bedroom, coupled with that uneven breathing. He might have bitten his lip too hard when he came. There was the slight tang of copper on his tongue when he finally let go of his dick and wiped his hand.   
“Are you there?”

“Uh… yeah, Dean. Jesus. You sound sexy as hell when you come.”  
“… thanks?”  
“No thank you, love. I’ll definitely sleep well tonight.”  
“Glad to be of assistance.”  
“You up for a real life rematch tomorrow night then?”  
“Dude, it’ll be like 1am before we get back there…”  
“Oh. Well you can’t blame a girl for trying. And please do keep the pants by the way.”  
“Thanks. They actually are really nice. You sure?”  
“Absolutely. I don’t fit in them anymore anyway. And the mental image alone… you with them on. Gets me going every time.”  
“…uh… thanks?”  
“I swear this is as kinky as I get.”  
“I don’t mind. It’s… nice. To wear them.”  
“Well it’s agreed then. Sorry to drop you like this, but I am really going to fall asleep in like two minutes.”  
“Same here. Damn, I have to get cleaned up now…”  
“Well you take care of yourself. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”  
“I’m okay. Thanks for… whatever that was.”  
“An orgasm, Dean.”  
“Hardy-ha. Good night.”  
“Good night, love.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally found some time to continue on this. A bit of a "bridge" chapter to more interesting stuff.

The week after Bobby’s birthday Dean felt lighter than before. Even if work was extra hectic and Benny grumpy, Dean was in a good mood. Crowley calls every night he’s at home and they make plans for the weekend. Like a real couple. Which is nothing new. Just that he is actually excited this time to make those plans. 

A lazy Saturday morning at Dean’s apartment was the perfect time to see if this blowjob thing was something Dean could do. The concept seemed straight forward. But the actual situation was a bit overwhelming. It would have been rude to voice his thoughts, but thank god Crowley’s dick wasn’t all that big. It certainly looked huge this close to Dean’s face. Even the smallest lick elicited a slight tremor or a moan. And it made Dean smile inside when Crowley went all stiff as he took him in his mouth. Oh…and going too fast wasn’t a great idea. No wonder girls didn’t want to do this for long. Dean’s jaw was getting sore. 

On the other hand, Crowley was making the most delicious noises. There were words probably. Just nothing Dean could really understand, he was busy anyway. The tuck on his hair was jarring and made him stop and look up for the possible directions. All he could see though was Crowley bowing his back and then there was an unpleasant wetness on Dean’s chin. Oh… Oh! Well… that was interesting. Wiping his chin on a discarded pair of underwear, Dean made his way back next to Crowley.  
“Sorry, love…”  
“That’s fine… thanks for the um… warning.”  
“Figured you wouldn’t like to get that on the first try.”  
“Yeah. So it was okay?”  
“Very good… so good… You okay?”  
“I didn’t mind it.”  
“Well… you are welcome to try again if you want to.”

They dosed off for a while and later Crowley cursed the dried semen on his stomach. Maybe there was some advantages to this whole swallowing thing. Although Dean was not keen on trying that. Even his own semen didn’t taste too great. Maybe later. Maybe if he was tipsy enough. Well… Crowley might not be okay with tipsy sex.  
Their breakfast was an awkward affair with Sam blushing away with his weird smoothie and Crowley looking intently at his toast. Apparently the walls were not as insulated as Dean remembered. Or Sam’s sex life was not as vocal as Dean’s. And boy was that a thought process he didn’t want to suffer through ever again. Maybe they should favor Crowley’s place in the future. Dean would just have to get comfortable about doing new things there instead of on his home turf. 

Crowley steering the cart while they shopped for the dinner and Sunday breakfast was somewhat domestic. This time no homophobic old ladies infiltrated the store. Packing pasta and beef into Crowley’s bags and driving to the apartment felt like a routine. It was only the second time though. The lack of gloom and doom, present last time, was refreshing and left Dean energetic.  
“So what should we do tonight? Wanna have a proper date love?”  
Crowley must have noted his discontent.  
“Sure, why not. Did you have something specific in mind? It’s your turn to choose anyway”

Maybe every relationship has to go through some standard dates. The dinner, the movie, and bowling or - god forbid – miniature golf. At least they agreed on the film. No more romantic comedies thank you very much. The whole Saturday night date started how every single one of his middle school dates had. Except for the lack of parental supervision, thank god. Imagining Bobby glaring over their heads in a half empty movie theater was disturbing.  
Sneaking an arm over Crowley’s shoulders was a classic move. No reason why it couldn’t be done. And Dean felt all kinds of manly while doing it. It was stupid. It shouldn’t matter at all at this point. The hand on his thigh seemed like a counter move from Crowley. And the grip was way above Dean’s knee. Had it been a girl’s hand, Dean would have thought there might be some wild times ahead. 

They ended up in Dean’s car after the movie. Dean felt like a hormonal teenager and maybe he sped a bit to get to Crowley’s apartment. They hit the downtown area on their way and suddenly the traffic just stalled. Dean muttering ‘fuck this crap’ did nothing to speed it up. No-one was moving anywhere fast. The snail pace really put a damper on Dean’s mood. They slowly approached the reason for the delay.  
There were blue and red flashing lights ahead. Must have been an accident or a fire. Crowley’s phone buzzed then. 

“This is Crowley. This better be important to disturb my date, Patel…”  
Dean could only hear Crowley’s end of the conversation, but it became clear the date was over in a few minutes.  
“Shit. I’m actually close to ground zero here.”  
A call from the hospital was never good. They were crawling closer to the lights and were under a block away.  
“I can catch a ride with the EMTs, yeah. I’ll come with the next surgical.”  
Holy shit. Must be a bad one, if they were calling in Crowley. He was not even on call this weekend.  
“And calm down, Patel. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Not my fault.”  
___________________________________________________

This was the shittiest evening ever. Why couldn’t it be just a simple shooting? Patel and Newman would have handled that. And Crowley could have been indulging in carnal pleasures and pasta at his apartment.  
“Love, can you drop me off? There has been an accident. A bus overturned or something. Collided with a truck. Not sure. They want me to scrub in for the night.”  
“Hey, no problem. Whatever you need.”  
“So sorry to end the date like this…”  
“Not your fault.”  
“And you’ll be in traffic for a bit longer too. Here, take the key. No need for you to fight the traffic again to the opposite direction. If you leave before I get back, just slide the key in my mailbox downstairs.”  
“Thanks. Want me to get food ready?”  
“Nah. Might be a long night.”

Dean looked a bit shocked. They rolled right next to the closest ambulance and the number of injured laying on the asphalt waiting to be assessed was far larger than Crowley had expected.  
“Dammit… I’ll leave the coat here. The button-up was new too. Dammit…”  
Fighting the blazer off got Crowley distracted enough that the offered T-shirt came as a surprise.  
“Take my shirt. It’s old as heck and has holes at the neck. And no judging…I haven’t done laundry since last Thursday” And damn, seeing Dean shirtless was just the final ‘fuck you’ the universe gave him.  
“If you’re sure…”  
“Yeah, yeah. Just good luck, Crowley.”

And he stepped onto the ground zero in his boyfriends gray t-shirt and his best jeans. The smell of metal and gasoline was unpleasant to say at least. Flashing his personnel card, he got to the leader of the EMTs.  
“I’m here to take the next surgical in.”  
“We need doctors here too you know! See that line of people? They need triage like right now!”  
“I’m a surgeon. Won’t do any good to triage if there’s no-one to actually treat them afterwards.”  
“Fine! Left end of the line here’s the more severe people as far as we could tell. There’s still a few in the wreckage.”  
Crowley went in with the EMTs with a very bloody looking teenager. There was a piece of steel sticking out of his leg. Definitely surgical. And thankfully unconscious.  
At least that’s what Crowley thought. Until the ambulance hit a bump and the kid moaned. The EMT was busy getting a line open and Crowley was trying to improve the compression around the site of penetration. 

“…am I going to die?”  
The EMT was quiet and stared at Crowley. Dammit.  
“Not likely.”  
“But there’s a chance?! I need to call my mom! You need to call mom…”  
Well, that didn’t go well at all.  
“We’ll get the nurses to do that at the hospital.”  
“NO! I might die! NO!”  
“HEY! Shut it! Stop moving, stop vailing! I’m trying to stop the bleeding you idiot. I can call your insufferable mother or save your leg. Which one will it be?”  
There was no further agitated screaming. Just more tears. 

There was blood on his pants and on the T-shirt. Scrubs were at least clean - for now.  
“Hey! McLeod, you better not be drunk! This is all yours. I’ll take the next one.”  
“Ass…” Patel was being rude again. Having a date did not mean he would get drunk. It was barely seven anyway. 

The assisting staff seemed more nervous than normal. The overflow of patients looming over their heads possibly the cause of this. The surgery of the teen went reasonably well. They would have to keep an eye on nerve damage and extensive physio, but Crowley barely had time to sign the papers, before the next case was rolled in front of him.  
It was past 2 am when he finally pulled the gown off and flexed his fingers. He should have eaten something hours ago. They didn’t even have the time to take a break after a kid died on the table. One of the nurses had to be excused at that point. Absolutely useless. Two out of three emergency surgeries wasn’t too bad. 

When he went to find Dr. Patel to let him know he was heading home, the head of ER nurses let him know the bastard had left two hours ago. Way to go. Leave the volunteer to finish up, go home to sleep and not even notify Newman to take over the last bit. Newman was on call for god’s sake. Crowley was hungry, angry, and also without a car.  
Stuck in his office with borrowed scrubs and a bag with Dean’s shirt and his pants, Crowley called a cab. The driver was probably high. The car smelled weird and was making Crowley’s headache worse. He was too tired to even think about getting takeout. He had stuff at home. At this point, dry pasta would be just fine. 

He was already at his door when the memory of giving the key to Dean surfaced. Well, fuck. Getting back downstairs to unlock the mailbox took more energy than he wanted to admit. And the mailbox was empty. Shit. Maybe Dean hadn’t left. Or just forgot to leave the key. Or maybe he didn’t even come in. Why on earth didn’t they teach breaking and entering in med school? Would be a bloody useful skill. Crowley was trying to figure out a way to slip the lock with his credit card when the door just swung open. Dean was there in his boxers and one of Crowley’s T-shirts.  
________________________________________________________

“Crowley? Why didn’t you knock or ring the doorbell?”  
“I thought… I don’t know. Tired. Didn’t know you were still here…”  
“Jesus you look like shit.”  
“Thanks”  
Dean felt like an ass. It was nearly 3 am. Of course Crowley was tired. 

Dragging the man to the shower was more work than Dean expected. Crowley would thank him in the morning for it. The poor man smelled of hospital and sweat. Washing another person who was basically unconscious was a challenge. And far from erotic. Skipping the conditioner and just rinsing the shower gel off fast got them in bed before four am. Dean could swear Crowley was asleep before they even reached their destination.  
Dean woke up before nine and just stared at his unconscious boyfriend. He had saved lives last night. While Dean had just sat in front of the TV and gorged a bowl of cereal for dinner. And few beers for a snack. The man deserved to stay in bed all day. And Dean would make breakfast… or lunch. Whichever was the appropriate meal when Crowley woke up. 

It was past noon when Crowley appeared in the kitchen. He still looked tired and his hair was a messy halo.  
“Morning, doctor. Lunch?”  
“Uh… yeah.”  
Dean started to get the pasta ready.  
“So… you stayed here.”  
“Yeah. Thought that was okay?”  
“Completely. I’m just surprised. It’s kind of boring here I guess.”  
“Nah. I can always snoop and watch TV.”  
“So found anything interesting?”  
“Apart from Law and Order re-runs? Nope. Too tired to get into it.”  
Dean had just done a cursory look over of the bookshelf.  
“Well that’s a relief”  
“Why? Do you have a dungeon in your closet or some sort of Band-Aid collection hidden in your office?”  
Crowley chuckled at that. Goal achieved then. 

They ate in silence and Crowley started to look more alert.  
“Can we just stay in today? Last night was… well, work was work”  
“Sure. What do you mean, though?”  
“Well, I was in on three surgeries. It takes a lot out of you. Especially when, you know, one doesn’t make it”  
“Shit, Crowley. I’m sorry. Do you want me to go?”  
“Oh no. I’m fine. I’m used to it. Kind of. You get numb to a certain degree. Desensitized. I just don’t want to be in crowds or super social.”  
“Hey, not a problem. I like it here. You have a sweet place.”  
“Thanks.”

They lounged in front of the TV the rest of the day. Crowley’s phone beeped when Dean was about to head home. They were in the foyer giving the last kisses and gropes. Crowley read the message and even in the dim lights, Dean could see the color drain from Crowley’s face.  
“What is it?”  
There was no answer. And Crowley seemed to breathe funny.  
“Hey, Crowley, are you okay?”  
Dean stepped closer to the distraught man and gently turned the phone so he could see it.  
‘You are in deep shit McLeod. The kid who died on you was the son of a priest. The board has been notified.’  
Jesus. 

Crowley blinked multiple times.  
“I… There is going to be a disciplinary hearing about last night. The kid who died…”  
Shit.  
“How bad is it?”  
“Well, depends. No idea what’s the actual basis of this thing. Worst case scenario, I’ll be suspended.”  
“You did nothing wrong though?”  
“As far as I remember the kid had already lost too much blood and I couldn’t find the leak soon enough. We dug out so much metal from his torso and legs…”

Dean felt out of his depth. His girl friends had turned to their friends after figuring Dean was a bit useless at this feeling stuff. Well, occasionally he would just let them rant at him and then offer a cuddle when it was demanded. In hind sight, Dean had probably not really cared about their problems. Crowley was different. This time Dean cared. And he really owed the guy for managing his breakdown after Sam found out about them.  
“So there should be nothing for you to worry about, right? You did your best. Heck, it wasn’t even your shift.”  
“Yeah…”

Shuffling awkwardly at the foyer and watching Crowley stare into space was not fun. Was this how people looked when they were in some sort of shock? Was this how Dean had looked? What did Crowley do? Dean remembered it had helped.  
“So… Do you want me to stay? I mean, I could leave too if you prefer…”  
“I… Maybe… Yeah. Don’t you have work in the morning though?”  
Okay. So definitely an overnight stay.  
“I can leave from here a bit earlier in the morning. Not a problem.”

“Thanks…”  
Taking his coat off and getting back into the kitchen to make tea, was Dean’s go-to response to crisis situations. Like the time Sam broke up with Leah, or when he failed a physics test. Crowley curled in on himself on the sofa and stared at Dean. It was obvious the conversation would not be heavy on this.  
“Here. Have a bit of tea. Are you hungry?”  
Crowley just shook his head and slurped at the warm drink. 

“So…uh. Do you wanna take your mind off it? We could just watch TV. Or go to bed early?”  
“Yeah, TV should do it. Sorry. It’s just the not knowing how it’s going to go.”  
“I bet it will be fine. It’s not like it was your fault really”  
“Yeah…”  
They actually cuddled on the sofa for the duration of a movie neither of them really paid attention to. Crowley’s head was supported on Dean’s shoulder and the warmth of his hands was making Dean sweat under his sweater. Removing the garment didn’t help much. But Dean didn’t want to complain. If this was what Crowley needed, he would gladly get disgustingly moist. 

It was close to midnight when Crowley seemed to finally stir from whatever inner place he had retreated to.  
“I have to go to work tomorrow… see the HR people, hospital lawyer? I don’t know. Hasn’t happened to me before.”  
“Hey, it’ll be okay. It’s not like they are out to get you right?”  
“I guess. Well. Apart from the parents of that kid maybe.”  
“Would they really do that?”  
“No idea.”

Dean had no idea what to say. It was really not his area. He remembered how Crowley had herded him to bed and held him. Repaying that seemed like good starting point. Dean was more slender than Crowley, which made the initial positioning feel weird. Like holding a too large teddy bear as a kid. Settling into the bed in the dark allowed for Dean to really listen to Crowley’s ragged breaths and feel the tense muscles.  
“Hey, Crowley. Do you think you can sleep?”  
“Yeah, just takes a while, love.”  
“Sorry, if I pass out on you though…”

______________________________________________________________

Crowley was reeling. Even with Dean there to distract him, sleep did not come easily. He must have slept for less than four hours and felt like shit when Dean dragged him up. The bloody hearing was scheduled for the following week. So plenty of time to obsess over it and gain a respectable amount of sleepless nights. The Monday morning shift was hell. Newman stared at him throughout the staff meeting. The hospital lawyer seemed to think this would blow over relatively easily, though. But who knew with these hearings. Some of the people in there would have little to no idea what went on in emergency surgeries. The amount of detachment required to just keep going after someone dies, would surely be a foreign concept. 

He could see Dean was trying to cheer him up. He stayed over in the middle of the week and brought food. And the best thing was, Dean didn’t talk much. While normally the lack of communication was somewhat a problem for Crowley, in these circumstances it allowed Crowley to process things. He was sure his depressed and quiet state didn’t create the best atmosphere to spend one’s free time though. Which made him feel slightly guilty. 

And the stress of the fast approaching Monday disciplinary hearing took away any interest in fooling around. The weekend before the hearing was the worst. Dean worked all Saturday, leaving Crowley time to go over all possible outcomes and worst case scenarios. By the time Dean got to his apartment with pizza, Crowley was in a shitty mood.  
“I am going to get fired and end up unemployable! I trained for this shit forever.”  
“Crowley, I’m sure-“  
“No! You don’t know. There are multiple reasons why I don’t work the ER! I don’t do people, I don’t do well with conscious patients. They are going to drag that out and use it against me.”  
“Hey! You did great with Sam. They have no leg to stand on.”  
“That was a fluke! You know what I said to the kid I caught a ride to the hospital with? I told him to shut up. He was crying for god’s sake and I told him to-“  
He lost the train of thought when Dean hugged him tight and leaned their sides on the fridge. Apparently prepared to stand there with him for a prolonged period of time. Crowley felt the air leave his lungs and his muscles relax. 

“I know you’re upset and stressed. Have been for a week now. And I get it. But you need to calm down”  
“I can’t…”  
“Dude, you haven’t slept well the whole week”  
“I know.”  
“I have tried, Crowley. And nothing is working. Do you want me to go?”  
Did he just fuck up this thing with Dean? He was being too out of control. He was difficult. Did Dean resent him for this? Suddenly all he could think was ‘Please, don’t leave me’. The shock made him seem paralyzed. Dean’s voice was far away, even if Crowley’s head was right at Dean’s shoulder. Was this it?  
“..no, no. Just no. I promise, I’ll be better.”  
“Hey, just tell me what to do. I’m out of ideas here.”  
“Just, don’t leave. Please.”  
“Okay, okay. What do you want to do though? I can’t stand in the kitchen all night.”  
Right. Okay. It was going to be okay.  
“Let’s go to bed. I know it’s early…”  
“Mind if I eat first? Or you know, I can bring the pizza to the bed”  
Crowley wasn’t hungry. He hadn’t been hungry all day. Selfish to keep Dean hungry too.  
“Bring it to the bedroom. I don’t care.”

In the end the smell got to Crowley and he stole stray pepperonis while cuddled up to Dean.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“It’s not your fault”  
“I shouldn’t be such a bitch about this.”  
“It’s fine. You know I have dated girls. This is nothing compared to PMS.”  
“So, the pizza and cuddle transfers from chicks to near middle age men? Great...”  
“Well… I actually tended to flee the scene at that time of the month.”  
“Could have fooled me. You are good at this.”  
“What? Laying on my ass and stuffing my face? Well thank you kind sir. Should have switched teams ages ago…”

Strangely, the thought of losing the relationship over-rode the panic about the hearing somewhat. Crowley even managed to sleep the whole night. Be it in his jeans and covered in pizza crumbs. And waking up to his boyfriend drooling on top of the sheets was just the amount of funny he could take. A picture was taken before Dean was woken up. To cheer Crowley up later. Omelets were had as was ‘traditional’ at this point. They even managed to relax before Dean headed out and Crowley dragged himself to work.  
Crowley’s shift at the hospital consisted of a mound of paperwork. At least that was out of the way, if they decided to suspend him. Reviewing the lawyer’s notes and his own paperwork considering the hearing made him feel marginally prepared. Ironing the shirt and laying out the suit with a bland tie managed to lull Crowley into a delusion of getting a second whole night of sleep.

The next morning was a vortex of anxiety. And he looked like shit. At least the suit was sharp and his coffee adequately strong. The lawyer was all business and Crowley suspected the smell of her perfume would for the foreseeable future give him unpleasant association to the day. 

He sat across the conference table and recounted the events of the surgery. When he described the previous successful operation, Patel started to fidget. Newman just looked bored. The dean of medicine looked constipated.  
“And what were you doing before arriving to the site of the accident?”  
“I was on my way home from a movie”  
“Had you indulged in drinks?”  
“No.”  
“And had there been any events earlier in the day that could have affected your performance?”  
“No.”  
The questions seemed a bit leading. Might still be standard. The hospital lawyer seemed at ease.  
Patel, however, exploded. 

“I know you were not alone McLeod! The EMT saw you being dropped off by a shirtless man!”  
What?  
“I don’t see how that is relevant”  
“You are gay!”  
“Well… yes. That’s no secret.”  
“You hate Christians! It was no accident that poor boy died! Driving your sick agenda-“  
Crowley’s heart skipped a beat. Patel had been rude in the past few weeks, but this was completely out of character. His hands started to sweat. It had been over a decade since this sort of abuse was hurled at him. And that had been by strangers. This was someone Crowley worked with, and he hadn’t been able to see it. Mumblings of rude bigots at grocery stores were easier to dismiss. This was more personal. 

Obviously the hospital lawyer had been waiting for this, or something similar. She loudly spoke over Patel’s voice and since she had been quiet until now, the board members seemed to pay attention.  
“I call for immediate dismissal of the accusations against Dr. McLeod. His efforts on December 1st were exemplary and as the comments from audience suggest, the accusations were based on bigoted presumptions.”  
Unsurprisingly the board agreed. The hearing ended in a strained silence as Patel stormed out. Newman seemed more relaxed after Patel left and even smiled at Crowley when he passed the lawyer and exited the room. The dean of medicine seemed apologetic as hell. The whole discrimination aspect and possible repercussions of this whole ordeal looming over his head, must have sparked a groveling circuit on his motherboard. 

“Dr. McLeod, we are very sorry for this unnecessary meeting. I hope this doesn’t affect your opinion of the hospital as an employer…”  
Well they should be fucking sorry. A whole week of stress and lost sleep.  
“I’m sure you weren’t aware of Patel’s views”  
“Not at all. We are an equal opportunity employer, and would never-“  
“So what’s going to happen to him?”  
“Disciplinary action will be taken and he will have the opportunity to take inclusivity training sessions”  
“So I still have to work with him?”  
“Well, um… We can’t fire him right out based on this. But I promise there will be repercussions”  
What a load of crap.  
“Make sure we don’t work the same shifts and I won’t sue for putting me in a hostile work environment”  
“That… that could be problematic in emergency situations…”  
“As long as it’s only those, I’m good with the arrangement.”  
Might as well milk this for what it was worth. 

“And this whole ordeal has caused an undue strain. I need a day to catch on my sleep. I’m sure you understand”  
Crowley could see the lawyer nod. Anything would be cheaper than a court case. And his request was more than fair.  
“Of course! Take until Thursday by all means. And we completely support your lifestyle!”  
Excuse me, what? Lifestyle? That sounded so insensitive Crowley thought the dean might also need some inclusivity training. Or just some manners. What an idiot.  
The lawyer probably saw how wrong this whole thing could go, and dragged Crowley to sign off on the case. Instead of feeling relieved, now Crowley was angry. Well, these idiots would get to ‘support his lifestyle’ to their hearts content. He would rub it in their face. At the annual donor’s banquet. Which he hated anyway. Getting kicked out of that might ensure he wouldn’t have to go ever again. 

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dean was nervous for Crowley all Monday. If the hearing didn’t go well, based on Crowley’s mental state the past week, it would not be pretty. It had been torturous watching Crowley spiral into mild depression and despair. It made him notice how confident Crowley normally was. How stable and dependable he was.  
Was Dean getting old? Those were not the things he was looking for in a partner before. The girls had been some form of wild every single time. Was this some sort of early midlife crisis thing? Wasn’t that when people bought motorcycles and took way too young lovers, though?  
His thought process and lunch break were disrupted by a phone call.  
“How was it?”  
‘Good… It was a… misunderstanding?’  
“What do you mean, Crowley? They accidentally filed a report on you?”  
‘No. Patel is a homophobic asshole, it turns out…’  
This was unreal. These people were supposed to be civilized and shit.  
“Has this happened to you before?”  
‘No. I haven’t advertised my sexuality at work either. I imagine he found out recently. I don’t know. Anyway, it’s taken care of. I have time off until Thursday.’  
Well that put all kinds of ideas on the table.  
“Dammit, I have to work all week…”  
‘I could come to yours. You did it for me. I mean, as long as your brother doesn’t mind.’  
“Sounds good. Sam doesn’t care. So see you tonight? I have to go to a meeting in a minute.”  
‘Sure, Love. I’ll bring dinner.’

Dinner with the boyfriend sounded excellent. Boyfriend sounded excellent. And Benny stared at Dean too intently for his liking.  
“That Crowley?”  
“Yeah, having dinner later”  
“So going out?”  
“Nope, at my place.”  
“Really? Though you would be doing the whole dates out of home turf thing”  
“What? We are working adults. Weird to go clubbing at this point. And we have gone to movies and dinners out. Privacy. That’s a thing you know.”  
“Oh so you are getting some tonight? Monday’s as good day as any-“  
“Seriously?! We are on this again? Why do you care about my sex life so much?”  
“Just so you know, I’ll be here for any consultation you might desire outside the internet-“  
Benny’s smirk was amused. He was probably about to laugh out loud.  
“Stop! No. Just no. Assume I’m good, please. Never talk about this again. And don’t make Anna do your dirty work for you!”  
Benny raised his hands in the universal gesture of surrender. Case closed, time to meet a client. 

This better not run late, Dean might actually get some in the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And a consensus has been reached. Crowley will get a tad bit possessive. Thank you for all the lovely comments and ideas!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for taking this long to update. Hopefully the widely requested jealous Crowley flows well with the story.

Of course the client meeting ran overtime. Dean had to speed to get home before Crowley would be there. Hopefully in a good mood, maybe great mood. Some stress relief would not go amiss after last week. When he parked the Impala, he spotted Crowley’s ‘car’. Dammit. He must be waiting already, possibly abusing the doorbell.   
However, there was nobody waiting at the door. Opening the front door and entering the living room revealed Crowley at the kitchen table. Finding Crowley talking with Sam was not how Dean had imagined this night would start. 

“Hey Dean, thought I’d let your poor boyfriend in from the cold. Trying to ditch him already?”  
“Ass… The meeting ran late, sorry”  
Crowley was smiling. Dean realized Crowley hadn’t smiled the past week and the expression seemed somehow new to him again.   
“It’s okay, love. Had a nice chat with Sam and the pizza is in the oven.”  
“You are the best, Crowley… Thanks...”  
Maybe Dean stared at Crowley weird, or the awkward just got too thick.  
“…and that’s my que to head back to the library, have fun!” And just like that they were alone in the apartment. Dean, Crowley, and the pizza. And was that a jab on their sex life or something? Sam could be so passive aggressive. It was not his fault the walls were thin. And maybe this was a good thing. 

They were finishing up the pizza when Crowley finally started talking again.  
“Your little brother is adorably protective, love”  
“What? Why?”  
“Well he had the traditional ‘hurt him and I will decapitate you’ talk”  
“Oh god, I’m sorry. He likes to meddle and be an unbelievable ass-“  
“Dean, I don’t mind. He seemed just a bit concerned and completely out of his element too. It was hilarious”  
“I can take care of myself. Been doing that for a long while. Taken care of him too”  
“Well maybe it’s someone’s turn to take care of you. God knows you deserve it after last week. Sorry for being such a downer.”  
“Hey, it was my turn. Or did you forget how I had a meltdown at your place?”  
“Well when you put it like that… Still doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be rewarded.”  
“Oh? What kind of a reward are you suggesting?”  
“Well… why don’t we go and negotiate, hm? With fewer clothes…”

The suggestive grin coupled with ‘come hither eyes’ made promises Dean’s dick wanted to cash in immediately.  
They stumbled to Dean’s bed trying to divest all clothing at the same time. The dishes were still on the table and Dean wasn’t entirely sure the front door was locked. Crowley’s casual jeans were abandoned on the floor first. The black t-shirt gave way to the dragon tattoos and Dean was amazed how much less nervous he was with this now compared to last time. Crowley’s warm hands yanked Dean’s dress shirt off and slid under the undershirt. There was a pause in Crowley’s actions. 

Dean decided to speed everything up by stripping his undershirt off and opening the pants zipper. It felt like the warm hands were everywhere. Closing his eyes, Dean could pinpoint them occasionally on his lower back or on his ass. He was quickly becoming useless. All he could think about was the uneven pressure of hands and the deep kisses with obscene amount of tongue. Crowley took over and had Dean naked, staring at his bedroom ceiling.   
Crowley’s face came into Dean’s view after a long lick from his left nipple up his neck, ending with a fast nip of his earlobe.   
“So what would you like to do now, love?”  
And wasn’t that just the most difficult question to tackle with half his blood supply located at the groin area. “Uhh…”

___________________________________________________________

Dean seemed undecided and about to blow his load anyway. So it was apparently up to Crowley. Just grinding to completion against Dean, while satisfying both parties with sufficient body contact and sloppy kisses, did not seem like a reward type thing. And springing actual intercourse on Dean was too much too soon. One couldn’t go wrong with a blow job though. And familiar enough for Dean.   
“Well then. If you have no preference on the matter, how about my mouth on your dick, love?”  
All Crowley got for that was enthusiastic nodding. Maybe whispered ‘yes, yes, yes’, but he couldn’t be sure. He was already eyeing the hard dick and taking a firm grip on Dean’s hips.   
Long licks on the shaft made Dean squirm deliciously. Wet kisses with tongue on the tip were something Crowley always liked, and Dean seemed to appreciate them enthusiastically. When Crowley really got to the business and Dean started to squirm deliciously, Crowley decided to make it a bit more special. It was supposed to be a reward after all. When Dean started to lose it, Crowley swallowed him deep. 

It had been a while since he had done this. The sudden flow of semen made Crowley almost gag. The high whine followed by a groan so deep it was almost a growl was plenty of reward for Crowley. And seeing Dean all blissed out. Well, that made the bitter taste and nearly choking worth it. Crowley laid next to Dean. The fast breathing next to him was a compliment of sorts.   
“So… Okay?”  
The silence from his boyfriend was concerning.  
“Dean?”  
Turning to face the now shivering Dean, Crowley smiled and felt proud. Yep, he still got it.  
Slowly Dean started to pay attention to his surroundings again.   
“Wow… You are the best Crowley. Please sulk whenever you feel like it. You want me to…?”  
“No, no. This is for you.”  
“Oh come on, there must be something you might want?”  
“oh… there’s this hospital groveling function next week”

____________________________________________________

Dean was baffled. Wasn’t Crowley’s kinkiest thing the photos of Dean?  
“Dude, I’m really not into public exhibitionism…”  
“No, it’s an actual gathering for donors. Whom we are supposed to suck up to. Dean of medicine’s little event to support the ‘good fight’. Which means the flavor of the year disease. You wanna come? Free food and booze.”  
“You want to take me there? In the public? People will talk…” And Dean wouldn’t want to cause more problems to Crowley at work than he already, albeit unknowingly and indirectly, had caused.   
“If it’s of any consolation, they already talk. A lot. Was planning to rub their faces in it a bit for giving Patel just a slap on the wrist.”  
“Oh. So it’s a revenge thing?”  
“A bit? You disapprove?”  
“God no. Just… are you sure about it? They are the people you will have to work with afterwards too.”  
“They already know, Dean. Hospitals are the most fertile ground for spreading rumors. “  
“And that’s your doctorly opinion?”  
“Why yes it is. I should be able to take my boyfriend to a work event.”  
It felt weird being called ‘boyfriend’ by a man.   
Crowley must have seen the worry on Dean’s face.   
“Hell, I think the medical examiner brought a hooker last year.”  
“Wow… Suddenly this party sounds really interesting… you know, and classy.”

 

The hotel ballroom was tastefully decorated. And the crowd was engaged in multiple conversations using their indoor voices. Likely about civilized topics, like the economy and opera.   
Dean was sticking to Crowley as the man made some small talk with the hospital lawyer. He would make such a shitty trophy wife…husband, or is it a boy toy? Was he one of those? And what was Crowley’s plan anyway? Thus far they hadn’t done anything scandalous. Was Crowley’s plan to ‘kill them with kindness’ or something?

“Dean? Wanna go and say hi to the dean of medicine? That gutless conformist is by the buffet”  
Well that sounded like a plan. Approaching the lady was like going to one of his commanding officers in Iraq. A bit intimidating, with the knowledge that it will be excessively formal and somewhat passive aggressive.   
“Dr. McLeod, how nice you could make it!”  
“It is my pleasure, Mrs. Davenport. Let me introduce you my boyfriend, Dean. He is a veteran and a security specialist. Dean, Mrs. Davenport is the dean of medicine here.”  
Dean shook the lady’s hand and smiled awkwardly. Even he could spot Crowley’s jabs. The dean was probably a doctor too. Introducing Dean first could be put down to just not paying attention to conventional social norms, but Crowley’s smirk told Dean, that it was completely intentional. And the dean’s forced smile showed she understood it.   
“Pleased to meet you ma’am.”  
Crowley’s arm went around Dean’s waist to rub in little circles. The dean tried to be subtle about staring there and failed. 

“Ahem….so how was your time off Dr. McLeod? Restful I hope?”  
“Oh we had some very… relaxing times.”  
The silence and blush told Dean all he needed to know about this lady. The poor thing was probably too freaked to address any discrimination against Crowley just because non-heterosexual stuff made her nervous. Also the subtle cross around her neck hinted at least some leaning towards conservative thinking.   
“Well… I’m… glad…”  
“How is Dr. Patel doing?”  
“He’s fine. He is voluntarily going to the sessions…”  
Well wasn’t that a slap on the wrist for this Patel.   
“I do hope this is not going to be an issue again. I really do love working here”

It sounded sincere. And was obviously aimed to make a point. Dean would have probably said something harsher, but these were civilized people. Their threats were nice and insults were probably like poems in passive aggression. Dean excused himself to find the rest room.   
When he came back, Crowley was already deep in conversation with a group of people. Well, this was a good time to check out the food. The deviled eggs were marvelous and if Dean snagged half a dozen of the spring rolls, it was just to sample them thoroughly. 

“Ahem… Did you come with Dr. McLeod?”  
A skinny clean shaven man with pale eyes and a pleasant smile was addressing Dean. And damn Dean tried to chew the last spring roll fast without choking.  
“Yeah…”  
The man smiled wider.   
“So nice to meet you. I’m Dr. McLeod’s co-worker, Ryan Newman.”  
They shook hands. It lasted longer than Dean was used to. But what the heck, this was a fancy party, maybe these people savored things like wine, cheese, and handshakes.   
“Dean Winchester. I’m… never at these kinds of things…”  
“Well the food is free. That’s why I’m here. And of course the boss lady demanded it. Enjoying it thus far?”  
“Sure… Just out of my usual realm a bit.”  
“I assure you, we are all uncomfortable and looking forward to either escaping or witnessing a scandal of any sort.”

Dean had to chuckle at that. They continued with witty small talk while sampling the buffet. Newman seemed the kind of guy who could converse with anyone and fit in any crowd. Bloody useful skill Dean wished for himself in this setting.  
“What, Crowley parading the boyfriend around not scandalous enough?”  
“For some, maybe. I’m not bothered. At all.”  
That was either just a show of support or a subtle way of saying ‘I’m gay too’. And the prolonged eye contact made the latter option far more likely. 

_______________________________

What the hell was this? Newman’s blatant flirting was obvious to Crowley even from the other end of the room. Leaning in way too close to Dean and even going as far as to touch his shoulder to direct Dean’s attention to the buffet table.   
Did the man have no manners? Apparently Crowley hadn’t made a clear enough claim here. But Dean didn’t seem like a guy who would appreciate being a trophy boyfriend of any sort. He had guessed Newman might play for the home team especially after seeing him at the Monday hearing. And the guy was a decent human being as far as Crowley was aware of. He just had never thought Dean would be his type. Then again, in that suit Dean was everybody’s type.  
Newman leaning to whisper something to Dean was the last drop. Intervention was required ASAP. A short ‘excuse me’ and a dozen or so strides, and Crowley was behind Dean. Sneaking an arm around his waist to really drive the point through to Newman. Dean was taken.

“I see you’ve met Dr. Newman, Love. Am I interrupting something?”  
Dean’s blush covered the back of his neck. Delightful.   
“Yeah”   
“Dr. McLeod! Nice to see you here. I was keeping Dean company…” I bet you were.   
“Yes, I could see that. How are things with Patel?”   
“Oh that’s right. You haven’t seen him. Well… he seems pissed. Then again, he was never the most cheerful person. Not looking forward to working with him again.” Crowley felt a bit bad about that. Newman would be taking more shifts with Patel as Crowley wouldn’t. Still, no reason to paw over Dean.  
“Well, getting into trouble for Dean is well worth it.” Dean seemed surprised at that judging by the curious look he gave to Crowley.  
“I agree. Have a good time you two.” 

If that wasn’t an admission of interest in Dean, then nothing was. Escaping their company, Newman avoided the evil eye Crowley was shooting at him.   
Dean cleared his throat to get his attention. He did look great in a suit and tie. Crowley couldn’t really blame Newman for taking notice. Still, it made Crowley unbelievably jealous. Dean didn’t seem like the cheating kind though.   
“Did you want to continue flirting with my co-workers, love? I have a fetching administrative assistant at the dessert table. Or maybe, you might enjoy a bit of attention from yours truly, hm?”

“I- What? No. Not flirting! I wouldn’t-“  
“I know, love. Just seeing Newman with you…”  
“What? Is he a jerk too?! I can’t believe the sort of people you have to work-“  
“No. Newman’s harmless. I’m not really worried.”  
And that statement was wildly contradicted by the tightening of his arm around Dean and the blatantly intimate way he was leaning into Dean and whispering in his ear.   
“It seems like you are turning every male in this party gay or at least bi-curious, love. If I wasn’t already gay, this would be the night I would experiment.”  
There were some stares from the crowd. But Crowley no longer cared about causing a scene to make them uncomfortable or to embarrass the dean. Heck, he didn’t even see anyone else.  
________________________________________  
It was the hotel lobby. Nobody would care anyway, right? It wasn’t like they were in the middle of the lobby, and they were wearing all of their clothes. Crowley had dragged Dean out of the ballroom and the esteemed co-workers with minimal explanation and maximal ass grabbing. Crowley was groping Dean all the way to the door. Wasn’t the guiding hand supposed to be on his back and not the left buttock?  
They reached Crowley’s car and suddenly Dean was pinned against the passenger side door. The first instinct to push the attacker away was quelled by the wet lips on his neck and the slow grinding of Crowley’s obvious erection against his thigh. It was heady. It was new. And was it legal to do this here? It was a bloody parking lot. 

“Hey, Crowley. Crowley, ah… Could we get at least in the car?”  
The fog in Crowley’s eyes cleared somewhat.   
“Sorry, love” Well he didn’t sound sorry. Nor was Dean offended. This was actually exciting and Dean just didn’t want to come in his pants in public. Hopefully Crowley agreed.   
“You’re driving. Can’t risk you blowing me on the interstate or something…”  
“Good plan, love. You look so sexy right now.”  
“Heh… get in the car”

The drive to the hotel hadn’t felt long. Somehow the trek back to Crowley’s was even shorter. Possibly due to moderate speeding and lack of other traffic at this time of the evening. And Crowley’s hand on Dean’s thigh might have distracted him from noting the actual time.   
“Did I freak you out, love?”  
“No, why?”  
“I know you are not a fan of being out and in public this much. I swear it was not my intention to embarrass you... Just couldn’t let Dr. Newman…”  
“So you got jealous? For real?”  
“Fine. I wanted to break his hand for touching you.”  
Holy shit. That was possessive…  
“Wow. That’s… I don’t know even what that is.”  
“Me being an idiot”  
“Nah… No-one has ever… reacted like that. The chicks just tended to get all angry and bitchy.”  
“I’m not angry… Horny, if anything”  
“That, I noticed”

They reached Crowley’s place and parked the car. And Dean could still see the outline of Crowley’s erection under the dim light of the apartment entry way. Crowley was leaning closer than usual when opening the door too. And almost pushed Dean indoors. The drive apparently did nothing to the horniness.   
“You look great in that suit, love. Mind taking it off?”  
“Uh…yeah…”  
Trying to drape the jacket and pants nicely on the bed was doomed to fail. Dean was pushed on top of the clothes and covered by Crowley, who had stripped his own suit off much faster.   
“You’re so hot. So lovely. So warm and pretty.”   
The babbling from Crowley was much less coherent and sweet than usual. It was quite disorienting. Crowley was usually so calm and deliberate. Dean was slightly out of balance with this development.  
“Am I making you uncomfortable, love?”  
And of course Crowley would instantly pick on it. No matter how out of it he seemed.  
“Nope, just… this is new… no-one has ever…”  
“What? Gotten a bit frisky?”  
“Uh…dominant? I guess.”  
“Same rules as before, just give me a word and I’ll stop. Okay?”  
“Yeah, yeah”

It was still weird. But in an arousing way. And soon Dean was grinding up to Crowley and willingly letting him hold his wrists down. Dean knew he could get up, if he wanted to.   
The trail of small bites down his torso set a different tone to the make out session, and the mouth all of the sudden engulfing his dick wasn’t gentle or teasing either. Dean wondered if he had always been into this kind of sex. Was he more submissive than he had assumed? Nobody had put him in this position before, so he couldn’t be sure. Or maybe it was only for Crowley?  
His thoughts scattered when Crowley released his wrists to take a hold of his ass. And proceeded to lift it off the mattress.   
“Whoa!”  
And there was a tongue on his balls. Holy shit. There was quite a bit of tongue. And scraping of the teeth. Erotic as hell. Crowley had Dean on the edge in no time. And then he guided Dean’s hand down. To Dean’s surprise there was the wet feeling of lube on his fingers and an insistent pull towards his hole. 

“Show me”  
And man, Crowley’s voice was deeper than normal. Opening his eyes, Dean could tell Crowley was about ready to pop himself, palming his own erection. Okay. This wasn’t really new. He had done this plenty of times to himself. Reaching back and rubbing at the entrance had Crowley’s pupils dilate. Which was satisfying.   
It shouldn’t be this difficult though. The breach stung a bit.   
“Relax”  
Right. That would help. Performance anxiety. Closing his eyes helped. But Crowley’s mouth on his dick helped more. And the treatment Crowley was giving him made all the previous blow jobs seem polite as heck. This was desperate and dirty. The lube was getting everywhere now and Dean could care less. The mouth around his dick was more distracting than usual. Pushing Crowley’s head back allowed him to concentrate hitting his prostate with his finger. Dean just had to come now. Had to. Couldn’t take any teasing touches from Crowley.   
Opening his eyes showed Crowley looking at him flushed and mouth open. Dean wasn’t even embarrassed. He was too close to care. Just the right pressure on his prostate coupled with a firm downward stroke and a twist had him whimpering. And the next stroke was it. Deans back was bowed off the bed. He could hear Crowley’s matching moan in distance. And when he was coming down from the high, Crowley’s sweaty body was collapsed next to him.

“Oh, wow. You look so sexy fingering yourself. Jesus Christ.”  
“…uh thanks?”  
“No, thank you, love.”  
They both waited for their breathing to level out. Dean was surprised he’d had the guts to actually do that in front of Crowley. It had been more intense than when he did it alone.   
“Did you like it though?”  
Did Crowley really have to ask?  
“Yeah. Definitely okay with that. Sorry for pushing you away at the end. It just got too much…”  
“Hey, I would have missed the delicious view, if you hadn’t. So thank you for that.”  
Okay then. Everything was cool.   
“I need to clean up before falling asleep dude.”  
“Go for it. You know where the towels are. I’ll just try and regain motor function here a bit longer”  
As Dean stood up, he could really see Crowley in all his glory. A sheen of sweat on his body and a wicked grin on his face. His eyes were unfocused and he looked sleepy. 

Standing under the shower and rubbing the shower gel on his arms Dean spotted light finger shaped marks around his wrists. Weird. It hadn’t felt that hard of a grip. And judging on the redness, there would be some interesting bruising there tomorrow.   
Then Dean caught himself questioning, if penetrative sex with Crowley would be like this. So intense he didn’t notice any pain. Was that a good thing? Was he going to find out soon? Was that how it was for everyone? Damn porn for providing jack shit about anything useful.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another update on this. Thank you so much for all the comments! They really motivate me to finish this up.

Dean was back to normal rotation and Benny was finally up for more than paperwork with his leg. The clients remained demanding and annoying. And Anna was getting restless about the wedding planning imposed on her by her mother. Benny should have believed her, when she deemed eloping the best option. 

Dean had suggested they go for a lunch in Blackstone’s before heading home after an overnighter. It was still early enough for the place to be borderline peaceful. They had beers and chips in front of them and Dean was looking frazzled.   
“Okay man, what is it? You have hardly touched your fries.”  
The look on Dean’s face was one of shame.   
“…were you kidding about the advice on…you know?”

The hell was this about? Benny was pretty sure he had offered advice on multiple occasions on multiple things.  
“On what, Dean? Outfits or an investment portfolio?”  
“You know… the uh… sex thing…”  
Oh! Really?! Dean was asking about that?  
“Didn’t you say I should assume you were fine?”  
“Well I’m not”  
“Jesus, did Crowley do something?”  
“No! I just….we might… you know”  
“Oh… And?”  
It took a few seconds for Benny to register what Dean was mumbling.   
“…I don’t know how it works…”  
“Dude, you’ve seen porn. It’s pretty self-explanatory.”  
“I know what goes where! Asshole.”  
Well that was an unfortunate choice of words. Benny couldn’t suppress the grin.

“So, what kind of advice are you looking for then? Best lubes? I have a few favorites-“  
“No! Just… I don’t know. Should I shave…um…everywhere? And what if it doesn’t fit? Is it painful? It looks painful…”  
“Whoa! Okay, okay. You are really asking? You sure you’re ready for this?”  
“Yeah I’m asking for real! And I’m asking because I’m not quite sure yet... but it’s a… thing I’ve been pondering on… every now and again…”  
“Dean, does Crowley know?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about that stuff… Just want to be prepared…”  
“…in case he decides to jump you? Rest assured, if Crowley has any clue what he’s doing, it won’t be a surprise. This is not as easy as one, two, vagina. And he does seem like a decent guy. Well, more than decent.”  
“Are you telling me I should just talk to him about this?”  
“I can answer some stuff, Dean. But yeah, talk it over with Crowley.”  
“So…?”

Right. There were questions. What were they again? Something about shaving?  
“You seen his junk up close?”  
Hah… the blush was bright red and Dean’s spluttering beer over his fries was hilarious.  
“Benny, I swear to god, I will kill you, if this is a joke!”  
Dean started to clean up the mess with a wad of napkins.   
“No joke, dude. Rule of thumb: if he shaves, you might consider it. Not really a huge deal. Most people don’t care. At least in my experience.”  
“So… you did…this with your college roommate?”  
“Yeah. It was a huge mess. Educational. But a mess. I had no idea what I was doing. And the next guy was so much better. Made the first time seem even more of a fuck up.”  
“So did you… were you the one…”  
“I did the pitching the first time. Catching the next time.”  
Dean just stared at this point. Was that too much information? Maybe. 

“Which did you like most?”  
“Honestly? I was really into both at the time they happened. Depends on the person. Couldn’t have imagined topping the other or bottoming for the first.”  
“Oh… well that doesn’t help at all, man”  
“Well what do you want to do?”  
“I don’t know. That’s why I was asking…”  
“Hey, that is something you really just have to decide for yourself. And don’t pitch just because it seems manlier.”  
They drunk their beers in silence for a minute. 

“So if I wanted to… uh do the catching, what would I need to do?”  
Okay, obviously Dean had been thinking about it and was quite decided on the issue.   
“Well then. In that case, you REALLY need to talk to Crowley”  
“So you are not going to be of any use?”  
“Well… not really. These things are pretty personal. But I can say it doesn’t have to hurt. Relaxing helps.”  
Benny didn’t want to go into details about the finer points of fingering with his friend and co-worker.   
“Great… It’ll be fine. It’ll be okay…?”  
“Yeah. You’ll be okay. “

________________________________________________

Was this the lowest point in his life? Searching for sex tips on-line. And it was much harder than finding porn. Trying to find the helpful tips an experiences from a pile of porn and trolls took hours upon hours. And his search history was going to look very interesting after this.   
His chat with Benny had been minimally helpful. And there was no way he would have asked even half of the questions he had from the guy who was technically his boss. There were plenty of tutorials for anal sex. The technical aspects seemed to be well described. But it was like reading a medical description of the flu. In theory, very simple. But when you actually have it, you have a completely new respect for the words ‘high fever and moderate headaches’. 

Finally there were some personal stories. About both good and bad first time experiences. Well, it was the internet. Who knew if they were true? But there were some useful tidbits there. ‘Don’t eat tacos the day before’ and ‘be prepared for it to take a long time’ were probably good ones. Bringing it up with Crowley seemed to be a great idea too. Communicating with your partner was brought up in many cases on-line. Not to mention Benny’s strong opinions about it. Would it be like that awful ‘birds and bees’ chat with dad? Or more like the middle school sex-ed lecture? Probably without the abstinence bits and he whole pregnancy thing.

Sam was lurking around the apartment again. It was Friday night. He should be out with his friends.   
“Hey, Sammy. What are you doing still here? Don’t you have a ‘study group’ or something?”  
“Are you trying to kick me out? Is Crowley coming over?”  
“No. He’s at work tonight. You just seem nervous and the pacing is driving me nuts, dude.”  
Sam sat down next to Dean on the sofa and Dean promptly closed his laptop. No reason to give Sammy any ammunition for future fights.  
“Seriously, what the hell is up with you?”  
Sam squirmed a bit and finally slouched into the cushions.  
“There’s this girl…”  
“Okay?”  
“And she seems cool. Or, okay, pretty nerdy… you know? My kind of cool.”  
“And this is a problem?”

“Not on its own, no. But I have been trying to ask her out. And haven’t been able to.”  
“What do you mean haven’t been able to? Cock blocking mates?”  
“…I haven’t… since Ruby. And I keep trying and every time stuff goes all blank in my head”  
“Okay…?”  
“I can’t say anything that I want to. Which makes me look like an idiot.”  
“Hate to go all shrink on you, but do you think Ruby’s haunting you? You know, connecting the ladies with unpleasant stuff?”

“Are you suggesting I try the ‘home team’ to get over it?”  
“No! Don’t view it as a move to get with this girl. It’s all in your head. You can be friends and go from there… And now I sound like one of those family movie dad’s. Ignore me.”  
“Gladly, dude. That is weird… this dating thing is making you sentimental.”  
“I’m sure it’s temporary. When I get used to this, it’ll be back to business as usual.”

He sounded unsure even to himself. Sam knew it, he knew it, no reason to talk about it. He had talked about it with his therapist. Just in case there was some mental problem. The guy had been of no help. Just smiled like a lunatic and assured that there is nothing wrong. He had even encouraged Dean to revel in the situations that caused any excessive emotion. To tap into his emotions. At least Crowley didn’t make a big deal out of the uncharacteristic things Dean did. On the other hand, Crowley was not familiar with the pre-Crowley Dean. So all of this insanity probably seemed the norm. He seemed to be cool about most things Dean did.   
“Well, I’m going out to suffer. You wanna come?”

Dean did need a break from the… research. And it was about time he hung out with Sammy. It had been too long.   
“Okay. Do I get to see the source of your suffering?”  
“Probably, she should be there… Just don’t make it weird, okay…”  
“Fine. But you’re buying. It’s your turn. I got pizza the last three weeks.”  
“Duly noted.”  
They sat at the bar nursing the first round of cheap beer.   
“So how is the whole gay thing going for you?”  
Jesus Christ! Choking in beer was not the way Dean imagined going.   
“What the fuck do you mean by that?! You know how it’s going. I have a boyfriend and things are fine.”  
“Really? You’ve been preoccupied lately and kind of serious looking… thought something was up.”  
“No. Nothing’s up. Everything is normal”  
“Convincing Dean. Try next time with more feeling, don’t you. Are you and Crowley okay? Are you thinking of breaking up or something? I get that weird vibe. The thing you get when you are deciding something big”

Why did Sam have to be so observant? Was nothing private?  
“Not planning to break up! And it’s none of your business.”  
“Okay…? Just… if something’s wrong, let me know. I can’t have you falling apart on me… or disappearing or I don’t know. Bottling stuff up and then exploding spectacularly…”  
“Hey! That was one time only!”  
“You freaked out at Dad’s funeral! Aunt Milly is still not talking to us and the pastor even wrote me and asked to not bring you to the church ever again.”  
“I didn’t know about the pastor. Sorry about that. But we are better off with aunt Milly out of the picture. That hag was evil.”  
“Fine… She did have an exceptionally pungent odor and nasty tongue at times”  
“See? No harm done there.”

“Seriously though. If something’s going on, at least give me a warning or something.”  
“Fine… I’m planning stuff with Crowley. Personal stuff.”  
“Getting married?”  
“No! Why would you go there? Way too soon, man!”  
“What then? What would be more- Oh! Oh, shit. Forget I said anything… imagine I heard nothing and thought nothing, and drew no conclusions!”  
Dean closed his eyes and hoped the last five minutes would be wiped out of existence. And he was surprised enough to spill more beer, when a squeal and the attached person barreled into Sam.

“Sam! You’re here! We had cosmos before coming here!”  
It was a short girl with fiery red hair, glasses, and a blue hoodie. Definitely Sammy’s kind of cool chick.   
Like the high school computer science substitute teacher little Sammy would worship in his senior year.   
They chat and drink the night away. Sammy getting all tipsy with big smiles and puppy dog eyes to this red head. Her name was Charlie and Dean had to admit she was cool. Not a ditzy little bimbo or a dominatrix from hell. They even had a sensible conversation about the viability of star trek comms across dimensions. Charlie bought a round too. Which was a nice chance of pace from other chicks Sam had hung out with. And she wasn’t shy about devouring a huge burger in front of them. 

When Sam skipped to the little boy’s room, he decided to be the best big brother ever. “Sammy’s a bit drunk.”  
“I don’t mind. Good to see him let it loose every once in a while.”  
“So, Charlie, you are aware that my goofy little brother has a crush on you.”  
“Oh no… I knew something was wrong…”  
“What do you mean ‘oh no’? Isn’t Sammy good enough for you? You get along plenty and he’s a looker, and an overall nice guy! Oh… or are you one of those people who’s looking for something more ‘exciting’?”  
The girl looked really pale at that. Maybe going a bit too hard for that point then. She was obviously way too freaked out to act on any of that. Maybe the nerdy shy types were like this.  
“Look, he has had hard time with relationship lately. And it would mean a lot if you didn’t shoot him down too badly…”

“I’m gay!”  
Hey, that’s my line… wait…  
“Sorry, what? Did you just? For real? Not just trying to get out of dealing with Sammy?”  
“Real lesbian. Very lesbian. All about the vagina!”  
“Oh…”  
“Yeah…”  
“So… Well… this turned way awkward. Damn, Sammy has a way to choose them. You sure you’re gay?”  
“Yea! Very sure!”  
“I have no gaydar, dammit.”

Sam interrupted their little awkward standoff. He seemed to be in that sweet too-drunk-to-care –spot of his drinking. This was his chance of getting them out before Sam got into his too-brave –stage and spilled his guts to the lesbian.   
“Sammy, it’s getting late. We should definitely go.”  
“But Charlie’s great, isn’t she? We could have one more round…”  
“Nope, I have to be up early tomorrow, man”  
“To see Crowley? Your boyfriend would understand, Dean. He’s cool like that, like Charlie…”  
Okay… now Charlie was looking at him with all sorts of questions. Eyebrows raised to her hairline. Dean had the feeling he was blushing. Yeah, he had no class and he was a hypocrite.  
“Yeah, I still have to go and I’m your ride, bro. Say bye Charlie, and let’s get home.”  
“…bye Charlie…”  
Charlie seemed relieved to see them go and gave a shy wave. Dean tried to look apologetic and dragged drunk Sam to the car. Pouring Sammy to bed was more work than Dean was prepared for. The lazy Saturday sounded so good right now. Sam’s weight had done a number on his back. Maybe Crowley was into massages…

Crowley’s bedroom was lit softly. They were just done with a vigorous set of mutual Saturday evening blowjobs.   
“So…uh what would you say if I wanted to… if I was willing to theoretically, do more stuff?”  
“What? Now? I just came my brains out. Give me a couple of hours… or I can give you a hand job in like twenty minutes…”  
“No, I mean ‘stuff’ as in new things… the whole hog…”  
“Oh. You mean penetration?”  
“Yeah. And not now. Just in theory”  
“In theory? In theory, I would say ‘do tell me more’, love”

“Well… I have been thinking. And it seems like something I might like to try sometime.”  
That sounded more awkward than it should. Dean was hoping Crowley didn’t hold it against him.   
“Okay. We can talk about that. What did you have in mind? What would you, theoretically, want me to do?”  
“Um… I was thinking you could be the one doing the… uh penetrating. You know more about this than I do, I mean, I’m not a complete idiot, and I could-“

“Hey, hey, slow down, love.”  
Crap. He was babbling. But Crowley seemed to be smiling and not put off in the least.   
“This is a big deal, Dean. Are you sure you want to?”  
“Yeah. Sometime. With you.”  
“Okay.”  
“Okay? That’s it? No breathalyzer test at the ready?”  
“We just had sex. You haven’t been drinking the whole weekend. I wouldn’t have done any of those delicious little things to you, if you were inebriated.”  
“Right… So you know I haven’t… done that before?”  
“Yeah. I think we established that pretty early on.”  
“And you don’t mind?”  
“Why would I?”  
“I don’t know… extra hassle?”

“You, love, are never a hassle. Especially naked in my bed. Unless you want to be in your own bed?”  
“No, here is fine. Are we really drafting it out like this?”  
“Seems like a good idea. And we are talking about this theoretically, right? So, no pressure.”  
Okay then. This was a strategy meeting about Deans deflowering. Awesome. Would there be diagrams and charts? Crowley was smiling one of his relaxed smiles. The one Dean caught after sex and sometimes in the shower.   
Better get this started then. “So what do you like?” It was a polite enough question.  
“It’s your first time Dean. We’ll do whatever you want and are comfortable with.”

_______________________________________________________

Crowley had been hoping for this conversation for a while now. But not right after spectacular sex. It took a lot of effort not to come off as an overly eager pervert.  
“Is it lame that I need to go through this stuff? Kind of takes the spontaneity out of it…”   
Ah, the expectations implanted by cultural norms and social convention.   
“Dean, it’s anal sex. It’s not something you can really do without thorough prep”

“What kind of prep do you mean? Like fingers and stuff?”  
“Among other things, yeah. It really is not like vaginal sex.”  
“I’m aware, lube is needed.”  
And how could Crowley forget seeing Dean finger himself right in front of him? At least the man had some experience in the matter and knew it could be pleasurable.  
Being Dean’s first male sex partner gave the advantage of not competing against any past boyfriends. God knows Dean could have gotten any hunk if he was so inclined. 

“It’s a bit different from fingers. I mean, I know I’m not huge but still.”   
It was kind of cute how Dean tried to pretend he didn’t glance south at that comment.   
“Does it really hurt? I mean… some pain is normal right?”  
Crowley had an inkling, that asking this question cost Dean some of his pride. It was a question he himself had before. A question he should have asked way before everyone was naked. It deserved a no-nonsense answer.  
“Well that depends. If you are relaxed and properly prepped, it shouldn’t hurt really. Just a slight stretch and maybe a bit of burning sensation at first. It’s a bit strange and just different…”  
Dean looked doubtful about that. Interesting. 

“If you, theoretically, wanted to do this with me, I would make sure you are good and ready for it in every way. I can be extremely patient.”  
“And what if I can’t?”   
“What? Relax? Then I’m not doing a very good job, am I.”  
Dean was obviously mulling it over and Crowley took it as a permission to doze off.   
He was however woken up by a worried sounding question.   
“Should I get tested?”  
“Sorry, what?”  
“STDs, Crowley… It’s not that I’m worried or anything. Just to be sure and all before…”  
“Hey, condoms make things easier and less messy.”  
“Oh… I thought…with the lack of risking pregnancy…”  
“Well, I’m not really into that.”  
“Huh…”  
“But by all means, it’s a good idea to get tested every now and again. I think my last one was three months ago.”

The conversation was making Dean uncomfortable. He stared at the ceiling and fidgeted under the covers. Turning to his side, Crowley stared down at Dean.   
“I can come with you to a clinic, if you want to.”  
“Nah… I can get that done during the week.”  
So there were some barriers still. Which was fine with Crowley. It was unlikely he would invite Dean for a colonoscopy or even just a mole removal.   
“So you are serious about this? Not so theoretical?”  
“Yeah… I mean in near future. I would be open to it. If you want to…”  
Dean didn’t have to even ask for that. Of course Crowley was interested. Bending Dean over a horizontal surface was his number one fantasy these days. But Dean didn’t need that detail right now.   
“Anything you want, love. Any chance you desire to go to sleep anytime soon? I am absolutely knackered.”  
A nervous smile was aimed at Crowley. At least Dean still wanted to stay in bed with him.   
They settled down and soon there was a clammy palm on Crowley’s stomach and the weight of Dean’s head on his shoulder. 

\--------------------------------------------------

It was a normal Monday. The clinic was close to the office. And Dean was nervous as hell. He had been tested before his last tour. And there hadn’t really been anyone. Apart from that drunken groping thing with some blonde just after getting back State side. It had been a blowjob. Nothing spectacular. Still, spending a lunch hour in a waiting room, filling out an inane questionnaire.   
No he didn’t drink excessively, not a smoker. ‘How many sexual partners in the past year?’ Really? Did that mean penetrative sex? Or whatever he was doing with Crowley? Better be safe than sorry. Two. Wow. How the slutty have fallen... There had been a time that number would have been in double digits in four months. Not that there was anything wrong with double digits. 

“Mr. Winchester? Please, see Charlene to the examination room 3.” The receptionist was pleasant looking lady with a ‘volunteer’ tag on her blouse. Reminded Dean of the pre-school teacher Sammy had back in the day. Which put Dean in a weird frame of mind for this.  
The weirdness was quickly transformed into shock and panic. He knew Charlene. Charlene seemed equally surprised. This was Sammy’s lesbian crush. Dean was getting an STD panel from this Cosmo guzzling nerd.   
“Um… hi… I’m Charlene… and I am so sorry.”  
“What? You haven’t done any testing yet, how can you be sorry?!”  
“Oh! No! I mean the situation… You’re Sam’s brother… This could get awkward…”  
“You mean more than it already is?”  
“Yeah. Definitely more. Much more. Oodles of uncomfortable.”  
“You’re just taking some blood and giving me a cup to piss in. We all know what I’m here for. How could that get worse?”  
“The compulsory background stuff… it’s personal. Like really TMI, if we ever meet again…”  
“Uh… okay. So? What now?”  
“I could have you wait for the next volunteer? Could be just a half an hour more.”  
“Nope. Let’s get this over with, I have an hour for lunch and this needs to be done.”

Charlie looked a bit skeptical, but to her credit, got into some professional mode to go through the questionnaire. It was pretty standard stuff until she asked Dean about his current sexlife.  
This turned out to be mortifying for both of them.   
“I… uh am seeing someone. And I’m thinking about… doing stuff.”  
Charlie looked at him with interest. “Such as?”  
“Sex.”  
“And you are worried about past partners, if they passed something to you?”  
“No…not really. Just wanted to make sure.”  
“Peace of mind, totally get it.”

“Yeah… He wasn’t adamant about it, but I just wanted to. He has gotten this done probably multiple times for his work. A common courtesy kind of thing.”  
“You’d be surprised how uncommon. But if you are seeing a ‘professional’ of some sort it is a great idea. Although I would still recommend condoms…”  
What did she mean by that? Professional? Said with a blush like that, it could only mean…  
“He’s a doctor. Just so you know.”  
“Oh! Right. Makes sense. Right. Give me your arm and I’ll do my thing. Then you can just pick up the cup and go around the corner.”

When Dean got back, it got just a fraction worse.   
“So I have to give the standard talk about this stuff. Feel free to zone out…”  
And then she really went into safe sex practices. Relating to gay sex. Which was actually useful.   
“Wait. What did you say? Poppers? What?”  
“…um…not recommended?”  
“Like drugs?”  
Charlie looked more confused than Dean at this point.   
“You are asking me what poppers are for?”  
Getting a bit defensive, Dean did what he always ended up doing – an aggressive over share to drive a point through.  
“You’re the expert here! Or would you rather send me to the internet to siphon through porn? I can tell you, it is not nearly as educational as you would think…”  
And there goes an interesting head tilt and a confused smile. Why hadn’t he kept his mouth shut? The internet wasn’t that bad. It didn’t smile at him like that.  
“Dean… how long have you been seeing this doctor of yours?”  
“uh…few months?”  
“And is he your first partner or have you lived under a rock?”  
“Not that it’s any of your business. But yeah, he’s the first guy who I am thinking of doing… this thing with. And as a matter of fact I did live under a rock formation in Afghanistan on my last tour”  
Take that, you high and mighty sex oracle…

“…thank you for your service? And please refrain from using poppers. Even if they cause relaxation that can help certain…activities. The pain is there for a reason and ignoring it due to a sort of high can lead to damage.”  
“Okay then.”  
“And that concludes this installment of mutual humiliation. Any questions?”  
“Nope”  
“Okay, your results will be in in a week”  
“Thanks… And you might want to do something about Sammy's crush on you.”  
There. Dean got the last word and crushed it. Feeling like a winner. 

Dean was back at his desk with a stack of contracts in front of him. Nothing was happening to the contracts though. He was too busy with other things. Like thinking. The clinic visit was a commitment to possibly doing things with Crowley. And he had been willing to humiliate himself in front of Charlie the lesbian to do that. And he had considered it a necessary sacrifice. They could have gone ahead and done it. Condoms were fine. They were apparently going to be in the picture anyway. 

Why did he go through with that? Because Crowley said it would be a good idea? God, he hadn’t done that for anyone he had dated before. Nor had there been any conversations like they had with anyone else. It wasn’t effortless by any means, but Dean was actually willing to put in the work for this. For the guy who took him in in the middle of his little breakdown about coming out to Sam. For the guy who stayed with him after his best friend got shot. For Crowley, who made Dean omelets.   
Jesus, I did that. Just like that. Dean deflated and laid his head on the desk. 

“Are you okay, man?” Benny was staring now. Great.  
At least the office was empty.   
“I don’t know”  
The boss came closer with a concerned demeanor.  
“Do you need to go to see a doctor?”  
Did he? Maybe his shrink? Stupid idea. And he had just been to see a healthcare provider few hours ago.  
“Nah. I’ll be fine in a while.”  
“Dude, you don’t look fine.”  
“Thanks ever so much Benny.”  
“I mean you look stressed. Has something happened?”  
“Not really.”

And nothing really had happened. Things were as they had been for moths. So why was he feeling so overwhelmed? He hadn’t even done anything drastic. It was just a clinic. And he had been with Crowley for months. They were used to each others company somewhat.   
Benny seemed to give up and continue on the accounting updates. Meanwhile Dean tried to go through the first few contracts. Spotting the misspelled street names and fixing the wording only distracted him for an hour.   
Benny appeared behind Dean and bodily dragged him outside. They walked to a frozen park without saying a thing until they were at the only bench facing their office on the other side of the street. 

“You say nothing’s wrong, but it looks like something is very much going on. Spill. Your fidgeting is distracting me and we don’t have the time to get IRS on our asses because I fucked up the books. So spill.”  
“It’s nothing” And it really was nothing. Dean was sure of it.  
“But there is an ‘it’? Come on.”  
There was no way out of this. He even left the car keys to the office.   
“I’m just being stupid.”  
“About?”  
“Crowley”  
“Did he do something?”  
“No”

Benny seemed really worried. Was Dean really acting that weird?  
“Did you do something?”  
“Nothing out of ordinary really. Went to the clinic and got tested around noon. Nothing else”  
“Jesus, are you afraid you’ve got something?”  
“God no. It’s not like I have done anything risky in years… apart from being shot at in Afghanistan. And on the job.”  
“Oh….oh! Did he make you do that?”  
“No. I did it all on my own. And that is the problem. I’ve never done this stuff for someone else”  
Benny looked a bit confused. And then a smile snuck on his face and the worry was replaced by something soft.  
“Dean, you really like Crowley. Not surprised you would go the extra mile”  
“I guess. Made me wonder, why I haven’t before.”

_______________________________________

Benny didn’t doubt for a minute his friend was head over heels in love with Crowley. Finally, he might add. It had been worrying to see Dean just stumble on after coming back from Afghanistan. Sam was great for Dean to have around, but he was bound to have his own life and eventually leave to lead it somewhere else.  
“Have you considered you might be a bit in love?”  
“What? Like getting married and having a family kind of thing?”  
“No. Like finding a person who makes you want to be better. Anna makes me want to do better. She is the reason why I have this company and not just a job.”  
Dean refused to meet his gaze and tried to discreetly wipe his eyes and nose. Apparently Benny got it at least partially correct.

“It’s good, you know. He’s good for you, isn’t he?”  
“Yeah…”  
“Does he know?”  
“I… don’t know. He hasn’t said anything. I haven’t said anything…”  
Well, that wasn’t a surprise. And this was possibly the first time Dean admitted to this extent of feelings. It looked like Dean was surprised and in some sort of shock about it too,  
“Hey, go and see him today. It’s not really helpful to just dwell on it. Won’t make you feeling any better at least. Is Crowley working tonight?”  
“No, he gets off in three hours”  
“Well… there you go. See him. Better than stressing yourself at the apartment. Or at the office.”  
“What do I say?”  
“Nothing, if you don’t want to. He would probably be thrilled to know though.”

\--------------------------------------------------------

Crowley was pouring the last of the wine into a glass. It would go well with the cheese and the movie.   
Then there was a knock on his door.   
And Dean was standing right there. Just like that time, when he exiled himself because of Sam.   
“Jesus, did something happen? Are you okay, love?”  
“I’m fine. I’m fine. Can I come in for a bit?”  
“Of course. Wine?”  
“Nah…. I’m good”  
I was about to start a movie. You wanna watch?”  
“Sure”  
Well that was enthusiastic. 

Dean ended up glued at his side. Which was fine. But the silence was unnerving. Usually they would chatter during a movie.   
“You sure you’re okay? You seem quiet.”  
“Yeah. Just tired. Can I stay the night?”  
“Of course. I have work in the morning, though.”  
“I know. Me too.”  
They went about getting ready for bed. Boxers and T-shirts on under the covers, Dean was still more quiet than normal.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on with you?”  
Dean turned to look at him and was biting his lip. So nervous then.   
“I… I’ve been thinking”  
“Okay” This could go either way. That started either a bad conversation with apologies and break-ups or interesting new things like handcuffs or whipped cream.   
“I… We… I really like you”  
“I’m glad. I really like you too, love”  
“No I really, really like you…”  
Okay… Dean was no longer meeting his eyes in the dim bedroom.  
“I have never liked anyone like this.”

Wow. Okay. Crowley was aware of Dean’s no nonsense attitude to everything. This was pretty much equal to anyone else bursting into song and showering their loved one with flowers and candy. This was Dean’s big romantic gesture. This was Dean’s midnight serenade.   
Crowley turned very carefully to see Dean’s profile in the near darkness.

“And I really, really like you too. And you might already know this. God knows I haven’t been hiding it or anything – I am in love with you.”  
That got Dean to turn and face him. “…me too.” Was whispered into darkness and lips landed on Crowley. It was a gentle, slow affair. They were both aware of the need to sleep, go to work, and get on with the normal life. But this was a big thing for Dean. And Crowley was willing to lose some sleep to revel in their mutual confessions.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally. Writing this bit has taken forever. Sex is more difficult to write than I expected. Kudos to every single writer, who does it and makes it seem like a natural part of an actual story with a plot.

After a week of some sort of a honeymoon phase, a few excellent dates and overly romantic blowjobs, Crowley was ready to move on with the formerly theoretical penetrative sex. He was hinting at it plenty by fondling Dean’s ass more than usual. Acclimating Dean so to speak, was interesting. Rubbing his clothed cock against Dean’s ass while he was doing dishes was a bad idea due to a dropped plate, but still fun. 

Crowley opened the door to Dean, who was bringing in pizza and beer for the Friday night. Getting everything settled was a routine by now, and when they sat onto the couch with bottles, Crowley finally noticed Dean biting his lip. A sure sign something was on his mind.  
“Anything going on with you then?”  
“What? No… nothing special”  
That was not convincing at all. He was done with Dean trying to hide everything. Especially when he was doing just a poor job of it.  
“So it is something?”  
“Ah…yeah… I got the results from my STD panel yesterday. All clean…”  
Crowley stopped in the middle of taking a sip of his drink.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you were gonna get tested? I wasn’t expecting that honestly”  
“Well… figured it was fair. Although, had I known the nurse was Sam’s lesbian crush, I might have thought twice about going. Getting a sex-ed summary from her was super weird.”  
Crowley had to chuckle at that.  
“Anything useful?”  
“… Nothing major. Anyway, it’s done. So drop it.”  
Obviously a sore spot for Dean then. Which was fine. It must have been a big deal for him to go there to begin with. It might have been the first time Dean had to disclose his sexual preference to a complete, well almost, stranger.   
“I really appreciate you doing that. And with a sex-ed talk on top of that? Damn. I just usually have a colleague draw my own blood and order the labs on myself…”  
“Convenient…”  
“Yeah”

They finished up a movie and the beer in a companionable silence. Dean even laid down with his head in Crowley’s lap. Everything was languid and the kind of overly domestic one gets when there’s no need to really do anything. Crowley was comfortable and almost nodding off, so Dean’s words jolted him up and awake in a shocking way.  
“So… you wanna fuck me tonight?”  
At least he hadn’t been holding a beer. It would have spilled everywhere.  
“Excuse me?”  
“Fuck me? You could…”  
“Are you trying to give me a heart attack, love?! Don’t drop that kind of thing on me suddenly, I’m too old, I might get hurt”  
“You’re not old. And it wasn’t out of the blue. I mentioned getting tested…. So sex talk was on the table already…”  
“Really? That was your ice breaker? Dear lord. And in case you didn’t notice, we are both a bit tipsy. You know my answer.”  
“Okay. Good…”

“Wait, you planned to ask and it’s good I said no?”  
“Well, you must be getting antsy by now. It’s been almost three months…”  
“Dean, I’m not going to pressure you into anything, no matter how horny I am. And there are other things we can do, and have been doing. Please don’t ask that only because you think I want it”  
“Okay… fine. But I think I want to try it. Just not right now. Just so you know.”  
“Duly noted.”  
“Maybe tomorrow? If you still want to?”  
What was Dean really asking here? Of course Crowley wanted to.   
“So you have been planning this?”  
“Not really. Just… thinking about it.”  
“Do you want to share with the class, love?”

If Crowley had been ready to fall asleep a few minutes ago, now he suspected he couldn’t nod off until he found out more about Dean’s plans…wishes… whatever they were. As long as it was nothing too graphic. He did not need to have his hard on poking at Dean’s head, still in his lap.  
“Well… We’re both off for the weekend. I’ve been thinking about it for a while… and it would be nice to try new stuff.”  
“So basically you are getting curious?”  
“Yeah…”  
“Okay. Well if you still think about it sober…”  
“Really?”  
“I can’t say I’m not looking forward to it. But know, that I can wait.”

He was nothing if not adamant about that. Even if bending the man over the back of the couch sounded like a marvelous idea. He could imagine the little grunts Dean would make and the mess of it on the furniture. And that got his erection doing exactly the wrong thing, and trying to angle it away from Dean’s head just made things more awkward.   
Dean looked at him curiously. Some of his fantasy might have shown on his face.   
“Okay”  
And that was all Crowley got from Dean. An ‘okay’ before the man got up from Crowley’s lap, kissed him and wandered to the bedroom. Following him was the only viable option at this point. 

“Okay, as in ‘you are fine with this’ or okay as in ‘this dude is a wuss’?”  
“What?” Dean was trapped in his shirt trying to get it off.  
“You left all the sudden”  
“There was a kiss! I was just coming to the bedroom to change and why on earth would I think ‘wuss’?”  
“With that kind of an offer on the table…”  
“Dude. You have principles. I get it. And appreciate it. I wouldn’t have it any other way, Crowley.”  
Dean actually hugged him.  
“If you get cold feet about this, I won’t think any less of you”  
And wasn’t that supposed to be Crowley’s line?

_______________________________________________________________

Okay. This would be the night. Maybe. Dean was eating the omelet Crowley had prepared for breakfast. The lack of hangover or headaches made the morning pleasant. He had slept in and had been woken by the delicious smells coming from the kitchen. Crowley was acting all normal while Dean felt like he was full of nervous energy.   
“So…sober now…”  
“Yes, love?” By the smirk on Crowley’s face, the man knew what he was referring to.   
“Do you still want to? Have sex?”  
“If you still want to try it”  
“Yeah. I think so.”

Dean had the feeling, Crowley was proud of this conversation. It would be something the extremely-informed-consent-Crowley would find appealing.   
But that did nothing to speed it up. Crowley still insisted they would go to the store and prepare a proper dinner. By the time Dean was seated at the table, even the baby carrots looked phallic.   
“Okay, are you stalling this on purpose to make me change my mind? I can tell you right now, I won’t”  
“No Dean. I just don’t want to rush it. It shouldn’t be something we do in a hurry…”  
“Dude, this foreplay has lasted for hours”  
“This is not foreplay. I will show you foreplay later.”  
“How much later?”  
“After dessert”  
Oh. Okay, so there was a plan. Great. Good. Crowley would do things to him in approximately thirty minutes. Dean couldn’t even taste the steak and potatoes, and the dessert pie was a small blip of ‘yummy’ on his radar.   
“Well then. Ready to have some fun?”   
It should have sounded ridiculous. But Crowley’s voice seemed deeper than before. And the smoldering gaze definitely suggested more than a fun little game of checkers.   
\- - - - - - - -   
They were all naked now. And still a bit damp after shower. Crowley crowded Dean to the bed and there was no other sensible choice but to get on it. The way Crowley actually crawled on top of him was rather porn-y.   
“You still okay with this? We can do other stuff too. I don’t mind”  
“I mind! We’re all cleaned up and everything. Want to know how it feels like…”  
“Okay. Just checking. Try and relax. I’ll make you feel good.”

Dean had no chance to formulate a bitchy response to hurry Crowley up. The man was already licking his way down Dean’s dick. Holy shit. This might be easier than he thought it would be. The lazy licks and warmth made Dean melt into the mattress. Crowley was palming his thighs as he went to town on Dean. And started to angle his pelvis off from the bed by pushing Dean’s knees towards his chest.  
Well this was different. Dean could see the reason for it when his ass was fondled as the licking of his dick continued. This was definitely going somewhere. Crowley’s tongue was suddenly absent. But came back into play on his balls. Hot damn… All kinds of nice to get some action down there. The hum left Dean’s lips involuntarily.

“Are you okay?”  
“Huh? Yeah. I’m great…” It must have sounded less like a happy hum than he thought. Well, the situation was far from distressing.  
“Feeling good then?”  
“Yeah…” Please, please, don’t make me elaborate. This is a bit embarrassing already.   
“Well then. I’ll get back to it.”  
And the tongue on his balls got more persistent. It slid a bit behind the balls. And now there was a hand lifting the sack. Oh! To get better access to the behind part apparently. A hand materialized to his dick again. Dean wanted to squirm. Wanted to do something. But he had no idea what. Would moving cause damage? Would there be unfortunate teeth?

“Hey Dean, relax. You are tensing up. I promise, this will feel good.”  
“Okay….okay.” Closing one’s eyes helped a bit. And concentrating on the familiar hand on his dick was very helpful. And then the tongue traveled way lower than expected. No wonder Crowley made him clean thoroughly EVERYWHERE. The wet licks around his hole tickled.   
“…holy shit…” Dean couldn’t help the whispered expletive as he inhaled at the intrusion when the tongue actually pressed inside. It felt alien. And arousing. And slippery. Dean had no idea there were this many nerve endings there. Somehow it didn’t feel like this when he fingered himself into oblivion. 

Dean heard his own shallow breathing as Crowley fucked his ass with his tongue. He couldn’t help it. A few groans escaped. And it was so, so good. After a sharp jab of the tongue and a little lick over the ass hole, Crowley made a short pit stop at Dean’s dick, and crawled back to face Dean.  
“Feel good?”  
Dean’s face was pink and eyes wide open. “That was amazing… Do you want me to…?”  
“No, no. That was just for the preparation. And a bit for the fun of it.” This whole talking while having sex thing was nice. Why hadn’t he done that before? And the little smile Dean aimed at his partner spurred Crowley to kiss the left side of the neck. 

The kiss and lick on Dean’s neck felt amazing especially when Crowley’s body covered all of his. It felt warm and Dean had the feeling of being protected somehow. Maybe some primal instinct. Crowley’s chest hair tickled a bit. He felt hands rub along his sides and end up holding his hips. Crowley sat up and reached for the night stand. The bottle of lube and a condom landing on the bed made Dean tense a bit. This was the real deal. The penetration and everything. If a tongue felt strange up there, what would an actual penis feel like?  
Crowley opened the lube bottle one-handed while stroking Dean’s thigh. And proceeded to apply the lube on Dean’s cock.

“I don’t think that is going to help with the process, Crowley…”  
“Of course it helps. You need to relax. Just enjoy it, Dean. I actually know what I’m doing.”  
Did med school help with this? It must, Dean decided, as he became aware of the digit opening him up joined by a second finger. He hadn’t even noticed the first one entering. The fit was a bit snug, but the hand on his dick distracted him from any serious discomfort. 

______________________________________________

Crowley knew they would have to have a long foreplay. This wasn’t the first time he had fucked a virgin. If one expected a long term payoff, the pre-penetration work was everything. Even if the bottom got cold feet and refused to go through with it, proper prep and attention to detail made future sex very likely, if not guaranteed.   
And Dean looked so beautiful laying on his sheets. Dean’s eyes were closed and mouth slack. Okay. All systems go.   
“Dean, are you ready?”  
“Huh? Yeah…I think… yeah.”  
He could feel Dean tense a bit around his fingers.   
“Hey, relax. It’ll be okay. You can stop me anytime, okay?”  
Just please don’t stop me. Please be okay with this. 

The condom was on. There was plenty of lube.   
“Okay. Yeah. Let’s…whatever.”  
“Sex, Dean. I prefer to use the actual words.”  
“…aha…”  
“Take a deep breath and push back gently, okay?”  
“Yeah…”  
And with no further ado, Crowley lined up to Dean’s hole. There was resistance. Nothing too concerning. But still, to help it along, Crowley started caressing Dean’s stomach and sides.   
“Push back a bit, love.”  
The pressure changed and Crowley was able to push half way in. Dean’s face was a picture of concentration. And damn it was tight.   
“I’m not going any deeper, okay. Dean?”  
There was a long whine and hands squeezed his arms.

_______________________________________________

All Dean could feel was stretch and heat. Crowley hadn’t lied about how it would feel. And that wasn’t all of it? There didn’t seem to be room for more. But he knew there was. He had gone deeper with his fingers. It was just the girth of Crowley. Dean’s grip on Crowley’s arms loosened once he realized how hard he was squeezing. There might be bruises. And Crowley stayed still without the reminder on his arms. Not that Dean expected him to go back on his word about not going deeper. 

It felt really weird. Completely different from fingers. It was warmer than he expected.   
“You can move. Just… careful…”  
He finally was able to expand his senses to feel other things apart from his hole and the head space of oh god, oh god. It felt full. And so warm. Crowley was everywhere. The cock inside him was stroking places Dean wasn’t really aware could be pleasant in terms of stimulation. The slow and languid pace reminded Dean of waves in the ocean that one time Bobby took him to the beach. 

Crowley was looking at him intently, propped on his arms above Dean. There seemed to be constant question on Crowley’s face. As if he was continuously asking if this was okay and looking for signs, that would tell him otherwise.   
There was a nudge on his prostate. He was pretty sure that’s what it was. It was difficult to tell with the angle. Crowley hardly grazed it. Dean usually liked to push on it a bit more to get to that edge fast. Would it take more effort to get the same stimulation with a dick?   
“…harder…”  
Crowley seemed to stop for far too long.  
“Love, you sure?” His voice sounded strained and he was panting.   
“Please…”

Whoa! That was intense. When he used just fingers, the harder strokes just changed how his arm moved. When Crowley went harder, the whole of Dean moved. There was way more friction all over. It was intense as hell. Dean was aware he was making undignified noises in addition to breathing with his mouth open. He couldn’t help it. It sounded like a cross between whine and a moan. He slid his hands around Crowley’s upper back to anchor himself somewhere. And then Dean noticed Crowley’s face. It was a symphony of concentration and controlled pleasure. Mouth slack and eyes screwed shut, sweat beading on his forehead.   
That was the sexiest thing Dean had seen. And then Crowley groaned. Which made it hotter. This time sex wasn’t just about the physical stimulation. The mental stimulation really got Dean going. His prostate was stimulated every now and then, but who needed that, when the whole show was playing out above him. He could tell Crowley was getting close to the edge. He was getting louder and his movements got more fluid in his effort to hold himself back. 

“…ahhh… Dean, so close”  
“Yeah…” Anything more complicated communication would have to wait until later.  
“I’m gonna-“   
Crowley pushed in deep once more and just stayed there. Nudging Dean’s prostate with each pulse of cum into the condom. That felt incredibly weird. And somehow Crowley had the presence of mind to jerk Dean off as he was still coming down from the orgasm. And it was really interesting to come with a penis inside him. Although it slipped out as Dean tensed all his muscles at the grand finale. Okay… that was more intense than he thought it would be. And more sweaty and messy. Not a virgin any more then. 

_____________________________________________________

Crowley was probably glued onto Dean in a bit disgusting way by sweat and sperm. He couldn’t believe Dean had asked for ‘harder’. To be fair, Crowley didn’t give all he got. Just enough to differentiate from the starting pace. Dean might like it a bit rough in general, but first times were not when that would be truly tested.   
Dean started squirming under him and Crowley apologetically rolled off of him.  
“Thoughts, love? Are you okay?”  
“…yeah…”

Oh shit. Dean’s voice was quiet and he seemed a bit out of it.  
“Come on, love. Talk to me”  
Crowley would be damned if Dean had some sort of panic attack or went missing inside his own head now.  
“…that was different…”  
Thank god.   
“Yeah. It is different than blow jobs and fingering. Was it okay? It’s okay to say it was a bit bland or not really your thing”  
“I… I liked it… there was more to it than I thought.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I could feel you, everywhere. Thought that was a cliché thing everyone says to be romantic or some shit.”  
Okay, nothing alarming thus far. 

“…I can’t believe I said ‘harder’ … it seemed like a good idea – felt like a good idea”  
“And now? Still feel like it was a good idea?” Did I hurt him? Did he tell me to stop and I didn’t hear him?  
“Yeah, just wasn’t prepared for the intensity. It was good…”  
The blush on Dean’s face and messy hair made Crowley feel all kinds of accomplished.   
“Are you up for taking a shower?”  
“I don’t know… Can I just lay here for a while?”  
“Of course, love.”  
“You can go ahead”  
“Nah… I’d rather be here. Rude to leave you alone right after”

Crowley listened to Dean’s breathing, relaxing into the mattress. It seemed right to drag the man into a cuddle to have some sort of bodily contact. Dean felt sweaty and his breathing was still faster than normal.   
“I can’t believe we didn’t do this before now. That was great…”  
“Glad you liked it, love”  
“Is it always like that?”  
“Like what?”  
“Full. And close, and intense”  
“Well… it might be less intense. You get used to the physical stuff.”

“Was it good then?”  
Jesus, Dean was asking if Crowley liked it…?  
“Yeah. It was great. You are great”  
Dean seemed to have a small smile the whole time they showered. Even if the showering was not in the least sexy or romantic. Just a perfunctory clean-up. Crowley took the time Dean was brushing his teeth to change the sheets quickly. Nothing was more off putting than stained sheets. And Dean seemed to appreciate it based on the groan he let out when they settled in.   
The way Dean draped himself over Crowley, was more adorable than sexy. The heavy limbs and the puffs of Dean’s breath right next to his ear, were the last things Crowley consciously noted before falling asleep.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was obviously not something he could do every night. Taking a shit was interesting to say at least and sitting down in the kitchen for their Sunday ‘brunch’ was not great.   
Crowley obviously noted his abnormal shifting.   
“Are you okay? You seem fidgety, love”  
“Yeah… just sore I guess.”  
Crowley stopped smiling at that.

“Where?”  
“You know where!”  
“How sore?”  
“I don’t know? Sitting’s not comfy, but I’m fine”  
Crowley was now right in front of him and really looked worried. Which made Dean worry.   
“Was I too rough on you? I’m so sorry. You should have stopped me-“  
“No! It felt great at the time. It was great and weird…”  
And it really had been. The shower afterwards had been relaxing. But now that he thought about it, there had been a bit of a sting when he had washed… down there… Okay. Getting worried now. What was it supposed to feel like on the next day anyway? Dean had no idea. And hadn’t thought of asking from Benny. Not that he would have been likely to get an answer. 

“Okay, can I take a look?”  
“What?”  
“Just to check everything is okay…”  
While this being a great idea on an intellectual level, Dean was cringing internally. It was a bit humiliating to let Crowley examine him. But he was a doctor. And would Dean have gone to a clinic to get this checked? Most definitely not. 

He was laying on the bed sideways and his knees pointing forward in a ninety degree angle. Just like the prostate exam they gave him before his second tour. Except this was in an actual bed. And the doctor had fucked him.   
“Okay, love. Relax a bit. I’ll just feel the inside and we should be done.”  
And this was completely non-sexual. Even if it was a finger up his ass, the touch felt clinical. How was that possible? There were not that many ways to put a finger up one’s butt.  
Crowley finally went to the bathroom to wash his hands and Dean pulled his boxers back on. The small amount of lube felt weird, but there was no way he would touch it, until he knew for sure, it wouldn’t make things worse. Crowley got back and sat next to Dean on the edge of the bed. 

“So?”  
“Just irritation in the anus. It’s normal, love. As long as there’s no blood, you are okay. I can prescribe you a salve for it though.”  
Dean relaxed finally.   
“That’s good. Thanks…”  
“Does it really hurt still?”  
“Just feels weird and tender.”  
“Maybe we were a bit too enthusiastic last night. I would recommend you refrain from getting anything up there for a few days”  
“Doctor’s orders?” Dean had to smile at the clinical wording.   
And Crowley smiled. Even if it was just a small smile.   
“Yes, love. Do you want to go to the pharmacy to get a salve?”  
“Nah, I think, I’ll be fine.”  
“Sorry about this. I really didn’t want it to be painful for you”

“I know. It’s not your fault. This would have happened anyway… First timer and all. Not really getting around it. And it didn’t hurt when we were actually…uh doing it.”  
Crowley smiled at that.   
“Love, you were high on hormones at the time. It tends to mask some pain.”  
“Maybe… But I still liked it…”  
Crowley gave him a chaste kiss and cradled Dean’s face in his hands.   
“You are amazing, you know that? For letting me be the first”  
“I trust you.”  
“Simple as that?”  
“Yeah” Dean knew there was more to it. He trusted Benny, but could never imagine doing that with him. 

“And I happen to recall you really like me. Is that still true?”  
“What kind of question is that?! Of course. Did you really come your brains out last night? I’m sure we could salvage the condom still if it comes to it”  
“Hardy-ha. I just wanted to make sure. You got a bit banged up… It tends to change people’s opinions”  
“You do this for everyone you sleep with?”  
“What? Get stupid?”  
“Give them a check-up and beg for them to still like you”  
“Um… no. It’s been a while since the whole relationship thing has been on the map. I might be a tad out of practice.”  
“Well, I wouldn’t have noticed anyway. Being a novice and all.”  
“Doesn’t give me an excuse to be an ass about it”  
“Well rest assured, I’m still very much in love with you…”

And those words still felt foreign in Dean’s mouth. Didn’t make them any less true. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t said that to anyone before. Let alone twice. At least not sober. Huh. Crowley prevented him from further analyzing it by delivering a toe curling kiss and landing them both on the bed for a cuddle. And it was great – sunshine and puppies all the way.   
Especially when Crowley whispered a reverent ‘I love you’ to Dean’s ear.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and encouraging comments! I am working on this story sporadically and have a finishing chapter mapped out. Might take at least a week to finish it though...

Next time did come rather soon. It was a Wednesday night and work had been frustrating. The little privileged bitch had Dean hold her coffee and insisted on ‘meeting the fans’ on a busy street in the slushy snow. It did not bode well for the suit pants she had insisted the security detail wear. Damnable asshole had them stand at her door in shifts for the whole night. In wet pants. Someone was not going to be a repeat customer if Dean had any say in this. 

The drive home was uninspired at 2am. Sammy was asleep and the clean kitchen for whatever reason pissed Dean off. He needed to lash out somehow. Heading to the work gym in the middle of the night was the healthier option compared to starting a brawl or two at the bar. It helped marginally. The endorphins after a good set of lifting and beating the life out of a punching bag calmed down the rage even if the restlessness was still there. 

Wait… Crowley would be off from work in an hour… Enough time to drive to his apartment before the man gets home.   
And waiting outside the apartment was even more frustrating than he thought. And gave him just enough time to start thinking a change of clothes might have been a great idea before hauling ass to this side of town in sweats and a ratty T-shirt under his coat. Then it was too late.  
“Dean? Something wrong?”  
“No! Nothing. Just wanted to uh… see you.”  
“At 5am?”  
“Yeah… asshole at work got me all… frustrated.”  
Crowley let them inside and discarded the shoes.   
“Okay…”  
“Figured you’d be up for something… gym didn’t help as much as it should have.”   
Crowley actually smiled at that. So he wasn’t throwing Dean out… good news.   
“So you want to vent a bit, love? Might fall asleep in an hour or so, but until then, I’m all yours.”  
Crowley settled on the sofa with a glass of water and waited for Dean to say something.   
“So? Annoying twat and?”  
Dean was still standing and had probably a stupid grin on his face.   
“I wasn’t really referring to a talk…”  
“Oh?...Oh!”  
“Yeah…’oh’. You game?”

It was fascinating to see the surprise on Crowley’s face turn into a smirk. And his posture change from relaxed to attentive.  
“What are you suggesting exactly?”  
“Well. Took a shower at the gym. A very thorough shower. Excessively detail oriented shower.”  
“Did you now, love? You sure?”  
“Damn sure. Heck, I drove here at 5am. Early morning booty call kind of deal”  
Dean settled in Crowley’s lap to drive the point home. His favorite position for kissing. Made him feel like he had the upper hand, bracketing Crowley’s thighs with his.  
“Should I feel used?”  
“Hey, you can say no and no hard feelings… hard….right. Well something’s hard and will stay that way and I’ll keep it to myself. But do you really want that?”  
“No…I’m game. Love seeing you all assertive.”

The statement was obviously true with the way a promising start of an erection was tenting Crowley’s pants.   
The walk to the bedroom didn’t betray the urgency Dean was feeling. Dean was so proud of that. Peeling the sweats off was faster than Crowley’s fight with his suit. Who wore a suit to a night shift? Dean started to help and found it weird to take off a tie from this angle. They were kissing sloppily now and groping enthusiastically. The tattoos were a blur in Dean’s eyes and closing his eyes seemed to intensify things. And this time of morning Dean was all for a little quick and dirty. 

To move things along he just pushed Crowley on the bed. He seemed a bit passive to Dean’s current mood. Might as well try it this way. Dean had seen it work plenty of times in porn. Seemed like fun. So he settled on top and gave Crowley a stare.  
“This okay?” Keeping in mind the whole consent obsession of his boyfriend.  
“God, yes. This is great”

The lube was cold against his overheated fingers when Crowley poured it. Reaching back to lube himself was a bit strange while upright, but totally doable. And feeling the brush of Crowley’s hand on his backside when he put a condom on was a nice distraction from the slight indignity of staring at his boyfriend while fingering.  
The logistics of actually lowering oneself on a dick were frustrating. It was harder to relax. At least he had total control over the speed. Finally Crowley stabilized his own dick and guided Dean with a hand on the hip to the right position.

“Breathe, love. Go slow, and breathe deep.”  
Okay, the breathing helped. And HELLO! There it was. Remembering to push back and concentrating on relaxing allowed Dean to sink down. It was interesting to see Crowley’s eyes close and mouth open. It felt similar to the last time: the fullness and the slight burn.   
Dean started to get comfortable and decided to try moving. Just a bit of a slow grind to possibly find his prostate. And the sudden inhale and ‘Jesus’ from Crowley sounded so sexy, Dean was soon trying out the up-and-down movement. That stimulated his prostate a bit and encouraged him to pick up speed. Crowley’s hands travelled to his waist for support.   
He must have made a sound or done something as Crowley’s eyes got more intense. Darker? More dilated? Crowley looked more attentive suddenly. And lifted his hips to thrust up into Dean. And the next thing Dean knew was a pair of strong arms rolling him to his back against the bed. 

“Love, can’t take it anymore. Please, please… let me do this”  
While the words were stumbling from Crowley’s mouth he was already grinding deep inside Dean. It was not entirely clear what Crowley wanted to do. And the man’s eyes were closed so a subtle questioning facial expression didn’t do any good. Dean trusted Crowley and was turned on too much to really care as long as there would be orgasms at the end of the line.  
“Yeah, yeah…”  
Holy shit. The pounding really was intense after Crowley got the permission. Crowley wrapped himself around Dean effectively and had him in a bear hug to presumably keep Dean from moving too much. It was a bit claustrophobic, but God it felt great. Crowley’s chest hair was rubbing Dean’s nipples and the deep groans right next to his ear were sexy.   
Soon Crowley got up and took a hold of Dean’s dick while still thrusting with force. Unlike the closed eyes and breathy moans, now Crowley had his eyes all open and drilling into Dean as if to convince him to come. Or to tell him who was really in charge. 

“You want it hard, Dean? Huh?”  
Oh! Dean was actually expected to answer that? All he could do was offer a nod and a very breathy yes. Almost a whisper. It’s just that Crowley was hitting his prostate and it was very difficult to concentrate on producing anything but moans and whimpers.   
And then Crowley seemed to really start. A constant litany of encouragements and groans reached Dean’s ears as even the bed started moving. Trying to stay in place to make the thrusts really hit deep, was getting difficult, until Crowley actually held him down by the shoulders. And that was the end for Dean. He had no idea getting pinned down like this would render him a moaning and squealing mess. A stream of ‘yes, yes, yes’ seemed to egg Crowley on.   
He came so hard he could feel his abs cramping. And Crowley was still pumping into him, increasing the intensity of the aftershocks. Finally Crowley tensed and made an intense ‘I’m coming now’ –face, just before slumping on Dean in a panting heap.

\-------------------------------------

Jesus Christ, that was intense. Crowley was aware of his own fast breathing and his dick sliding out of Dean. Grabbing a hold of the condom before a messy accident could happen, he got up. And decided to just roll over on the bed.   
“You okay, love?”  
“…yeah. Shit. Yeah. That was…”  
“Intense?”  
“Yeah”  
Dean seemed okay. Judging from the sounds the man had made, he was pleased with the experience.  
“Sorry I took over”  
“Nah… was great… what I needed…”  
“You seem surprised?”  
“Yeah… I guess. Maybe I’m just tired. Any chance of getting a short rinse and maybe a few hours of shut eye here?”  
“Naturally. You know where the shower is. I’ll be right there”

Getting rid of the condom and quickly changing the bottom sheet only took a bit of work. And it was worth it to get to sleep in something that did not smell of sex.   
After cleaning up, the sun was already showing between the curtains. Cuddling up with Dean turned out to be the best sleeping aid and Crowley was soon fast asleep.  
Waking up to a face so close to his eyes, he could count pores on the skin, was a shock. Crowley jerked back and almost ended up falling off the bed. Dean found this hilarious for some reason. 

“Now you know how freaky it feels when you stare at me in the morning!”  
“I do not stare, love! I appreciate with my eyes”  
“Yeah, yeah… Whatever you say Doctor… You doing doctoring today?”  
“Huh? No I have the day off”  
“No, I mean… you know. Checking…”

Checking what? On my job? Wait no… This was Dean’s second time doing this. Of course he would model the morning after from the weekend.  
“Oh! Sure… Do you feel sore?”  
“Not really. It’s not necessary. Just if you felt the need to…”  
“Let me know if you change your mind.”  
The blush was adorable though. Crowley had been worried during the weekend. And really didn’t mind checking Dean over. It just wasn’t the most uplifting thing to do in bed with the boyfriend after a night… morning… of wild sex. 

Getting up at noon had its perks.   
“You wanna come out for a lunch?”  
“Sure… I need to go home and change though. I only have my gym stuff on me”  
“That’s fine. I’ll pick you up, or…?”  
The predictable ‘No, you don’t have a real car’ was thrown at him from the door. 

Having a lunch was a great idea. The morning romp had taken more of Crowley’s energy than he realized. The lunch was a hearty affair of pasta and salad. Enough to satisfy them both fast. And it was only natural he would tag along with Dean to his apartment and watch senseless comedies for the afternoon.   
Sam returned from his classes before dinner time and put together a decent pizza with Dean. Since apparently Crowley should be treated to a nice night. Beer and pizza did fit into this nice night and even Sam’s presence didn’t make Dean distant. He was leaning on Crowley on the sofa and ended up with his head in Crowley’s lap. Decidedly a domestic thing to do.  
Crowley caught Sam looking at them at one point.

He seemed ashamed for getting caught. Crowley just smiled at him. It was understandable. They hadn’t been around Sam much and the poor kid seemed curious about the whole thing but too polite to ask anything.   
“Sam, you can just ask. Staring doesn’t seem to help.”  
“Sorry, sorry…”  
Dean looked to Crowley. Did he step over a line here?  
“Sammy, it’s fine. Rather not be creeped out by your stare at all times of day and night…”  
Sam looked unsure, but the curiosity apparently won over.  
“Do you guys go out on dates and stuff?”  
Well that was tame.

“Yeah… We date like normal. Well, except when Crowley says it’ll be two minutes, it really is two minutes.” Dean’s smile was genuine with that comment.  
“Okay… and is it true you didn’t have sex when Dean stayed over that first night?”  
“Jesus, Sam! Rude much?” Dean seemed honestly surprised about the question. Crowley was not at all.   
“True”  
“Sammy! I told you about this.” Interesting. Dean had talked to Sam about them at least a bit.  
“Love, he would have kept wondering.” And so would Crowley in Sam’s shoes. Especially knowing Dean was so closed off normally. He could have been lying to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

“I was just curious. I don’t think I have ever done that. Waited. Nor have you, since you were like 16.”  
Damn, Dean had started his sex life early… Had his parents known? Or this Bobby character?  
Maybe that’s where the whole consent issue, or lack of talking about it at least, came from.   
“Shut it, Sammy. No need to bring up old stuff”  
“I was just curious. And you are so… You seem comfortable with yourself. And with Crowley.”  
“Thanks? What do you want me to say, Sammy? I prefer the home team? I’m super gay for Crowley?”  
At least Dean was smiling as he delivered the comments.  
“It has nothing to do with sex, Dean. You seem genuinely happy. I don’t think I have seen that ever. It throws me every now and then, okay…”  
Crowley followed the conversation between the brothers intently. He was aware of Dean’s stoic nature, but apparently he had been treated to the mushiest version of it.   
“Well… I’m just me. Just normal Dean…”

“You really don’t see it?”  
“I have been in relationships before. It just happens to be with Crowley. I still live here, I go to work, drink beer… everything’s just A-Okay, Sammy”  
Interesting to hear Dean describe himself like this. Crowley saw Sam give up on whatever point he had been keen on making.   
“Well in either case, I’m happy for you. Let me know if you guys need me to vanish for the evening or something. I’m not inclined to have a detailed soundtrack of whatever you get up to behind closed doors. CLOSED doors.”  
Ah, a reference to the incident with awkward miming in the morning. Not subtle at all. Message received loud and clear. Maybe they should stay more at Crowley’s apartment. 

\--------------------------------------

Dean was just a bit mortified about the whole conversation with Sam. Crowley had encouraged it too. Which was ridiculous. Or maybe he was sucking up to Sammy? Excellent strategy probably.   
They decided on a movie and beers to wrap up the day. Sammy retreating to his bedroom before 11pm claiming he needed a full night’s sleep before taking LSAT, GSAT, WSAT, or BSAT… or something. The acronyms for standardized testing had always mixed in Dean’s mind.   
“So… you wanna stay over?”  
Crowley did look tired. And Dean would have to drive him home. Which he really didn’t want to do. It was still cold outside and it was pleasantly warm on the sofa.   
“Sure. Just…no hanky panky…”  
“Because of Sammy? He sleeps like the dead.”  
“No. I’m tipsy. And you know… might be a good idea not to overdo it.”  
Well that was a good point. There was a sort of background ache in Dean’s backside. Maybe a good idea.   
They made their way to Dean’s bedroom and arranged into the bed. Inevitably there was cuddling. Dean felt Crowley’s arm snake around his midsection and thighs nudging into his. The exhale of relaxation from both of them was strangely domestic. Was this how married people were? The real happy ones. Not the mess his parents had in the end. Or the strange nuisance it had been with Lisa. Or maybe this was still the honeymoon phase or something.   
Then it hit him. This was the only time he had been the little spoon. Was that what made all the difference? Dear god, Dean was a fluffy little bottom boy. Like a needy chick or a kid! This would not do. He immediately turned around and manhandled Crowley to face away from him. There. He was a big spoon guy. 

“Okay?” Crowley seemed a bit confused.  
“Yeah”  
They settled in again. It was interesting to look at Crowley’s shoulders and the tails of dragons. And the mess of dark hair on his head. It smelled nice. Crowley’s shampoo must be awesome to give fragrance after a full day.   
Crowley apparently drifted off easily. But Dean stayed awake for a long while trying to analyze the whole spooning issue and what it actually meant. And when he woke up in the morning, his head was on Crowley’s shoulder and Crowley’s arms surrounded him. Clearly Dean was no longer a big spoon kind of guy…

Which prompted him to see his shrink the following week during lunch.  
The office building was bland and the waiting room had magazines from the eighties in it. It was familiar to Dean. He had been here tons before. Especially after coming back from the last deployment. 

His shrink, Dr. M. Cain, was an older gentleman with graying curly hair. Dean didn’t know how to bring it all up to him. But this was his session and where else would he ask about this. The man knew much about his psyche already. There was no motivation to break in a new person. Heck, the shrink had seen him cry and made him see the most humiliating things about his own behavior. It had helped. The man knew what he was doing. So why not add this to the whole mess.   
“Nice to see you, Dean. It’s been a while.”  
“Yeah… it… it has. Thanks for getting me in this fast.”  
“Not a big deal. I had a cancellation”  
“Lucky me…”

Trying to smile was not working. Dean could feel his face straining with the faking.   
Cain did his usual thing and sat down with his ever present notepad. Blue this time. Dean could also see his file on the desk. He also knew Cain would be silent until Dean started talking. It was a long established pattern, obviously meant to make Dean feel like he was in control of the sessions. Sitting down on a firm arm chair with a decorative pillow in his lap, Dean finally started talking. 

“So, I’m a bit gay” Dr. Cain smiled.  
“I thought we established that you might be bi almost a year ago. Has something changed?”  
“Yeah. Quite a bit actually”  
“I see you are smiling. So it’s good?”  
“Yeah. It’s good. I am seeing someone.”  
Cain looked at Dean again with that probing stare. By now, Dean knew it meant Cain was waiting for him to elaborate.

“It’s a guy… We met few… like five months ago? Not entirely sure… Anyway… It’s been great.”  
“And you are waiting for the sky to fall on you?”  
“What? No…”  
“So why are you here? In my experience, you only get an appointment if something’s a bit wonky or there is some sort of anxiety. Not that I don’t appreciate a social call.”  
“Right… well…”  
This was difficult. Dean felt his cheeks heating already.   
“I like to be on the bottom… a lot. It really turns me on when he orders me to do stuff and praises me”  
There. Done. And Cain was staring at him again with raised eyebrows.  
“And this would be a concern?”  
“Could it be some ‘daddy issues’ surfacing?”

“Do you think of this man as an authority figure?”  
“What? No.”  
“Have you considered this is just a… preference of yours? People do have those.”  
That was just a polite way of saying Dean had a kink of some sort, wasn’t it?  
“What are you implying?”  
“In last few sessions we had, you were extremely introspective. Analyzed your relationships and interactions, and somehow managed to turn each mistake into your own fault”

Dean did have an abysmal track record with intimate relationships. That was just the truth.   
“I don’t see how that has anything to do with this”  
“Well… Does this man order you around normally? Does he decide what you do?”  
“Not really”  
“Does he take care of your everyday needs in an overly familial way? Or talk down to you?”  
“No. And his name is Crowley.”

“Okay. So Crowley seems to not view you as his child”  
Well that was obvious considering what they got up to…  
“And you don’t behave as a child would, do you?”  
“I… No? I’m always the little spoon…”  
“Excuse me?”  
“You know. When we cuddle or sleep…”

“Dean. People like that regardless of their past life. It’s a natural need for comfort. You might just have a preference.”  
“So… You are saying that I am a… a…. kinky little bitch?”  
“No, Dean. You are boringly normal.”  
Cain had his half smile of ‘I-know-I’m-right’ on.  
“And just as a side note: You use the pronoun ‘we’. I’d say this seems to be a relationship you consider yourself equal to your partner. Anyone else… that would be in any relationship. The whole romantic idea of an entity formed by two people. But you, Dean, have a bit more rigid views… and this is a good thing.”  
“Did I just waste a trip here?”  
“Not if you think this helped at all.”  
“Okay”

“Did you have something else on your mind? Any panic attacks? Anxiety or flash backs?”  
“I... Just one, when Benny got shot. It was short. I was fine.”  
“Do you want to talk about that?”  
Turned out, Dean did want to talk about it. Even if it seemed like he was doing it to bring up Crowley again. Cain naturally poked about it. At least he had the decency to not pester about the whole doctor thing like Sam had done. That had been annoying and made Dean feel like a gold-digger. Maybe Cain saw it in his face or something. Or maybe it was a courtesy to fellow doctor or something. The main thing was, that it was not made an issue.

The session ended as usual, with Dean feeling a bit drained and Cain looking smug.   
“Dean, you can relax. Have some fun with your boyfriend.”  
Those parting words only seemed suggestive to Dean when he was already in his car.  
Fine then. He had the green light from a mental health professional to go wild.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally this thing has come to an end point. Thank you to every single person who has read this, left kudos, and left comments to encourage me in this process. Hopefully it was a decent journey and not too traumatizing.

Dean was enjoying this submissive role more than he thought he could. He wanted to be pushed firmly to the mattress, and boy did he like it when Crowley really gave it to him from behind and whispered dirty little things in his ear.  
Needless to say it was slightly awkward to answer a call from Bobby not ten minutes after some afternoon delight on a fine Saturday.  
“Hey, Bobby”  
“Ya sound drunk, son. Did something happen?”

Jesus, he got that from ‘hey, Bobby’?  
“No! I’m not drunk! It’s hardly past noon”  
“Did ya just wake up?”  
Did Dean really sound groggy? Hadn’t thought about that. Did he have a post-orgasmic voice? Would Bobby be able to figure it out? Possibly. Better not give him the time for that.  
“No. What did you want, Bobby?”  
“Just touching base with ya.”  
“Like a checkup call? Really?”  
“Yep.”

“Hey Dean, did you want rice or potatoes with the chicken?”  
Thanks Crowley. That introduced an actual topic to the call…  
Whisper-shouting ‘Rice!’ was idiotic, but there you go. Every opportunity to try and not make this a focal point of the call…  
“Was that your boyfriend? That Crowley fellow?”  
“Yes, Bobby. That was Crowley.”  
“He making lunch for ya?”  
“Yeah”  
“That happen often?”  
“Yeah”  
“Good. God knows you burn water and avoid vegetables like they are toxic”  
“Hey! I can make food. Just choose not to, if it can be avoided. You know I kept Sammy fed for a few years before we moved in.”

It was always ‘before we moved in’ or ‘before you took us in’. No reason to dig too much into the past.  
“I know. Just glad you have someone to do that for you every now and then”  
“Yeah, it’s nice” And the kind of domestic thing Dean wanted to keep to himself. There would be none of that couple’s dinner crap. Crowley’s cooking was all for him. Well maybe the leftovers could go to Sammy or something. Which now sounded possessive as hell. Was Dean that kind of a person now?  
“So were ya plannin’ ta visit again soon?”  
“I don’t know. Have you talked to Sammy? He has some important sounding interviews this week. Not sure if he’s up to it right now.”  
“Yeah, he’s up to it. Rang him up yesterday.”  
Well damn. Visiting after the whole ‘btw I’m gay’ thing was bound to be different than usual.  
“Sure. I’ll be there. In a few weeks maybe?”  
“Bring that boyfriend of yours too, why don’t ya?”  
What? Wasn’t that too early?  
“Why?”

Dean was an adult. It would have no consequence whomever he dated. It was not like he was living under Bobby’s roof or eating at his table. Apart from visits.  
“Don’t I get ta see if he’s good enough for you?”  
“Wouldn’t I be the one deciding that?”  
“Sure. But look at Sammy…”  
Dear lord, that was going to be brought into every single relationship discussion of theirs for the foreseeable future, wasn’t it?  
“Just because Ruby was a…” bitch? Weirdo? “…troubled, doesn’t mean that everyone we date is bat shit crazy…”  
“Of course not. I just wanna meet him. Ta make sure.”  
It was difficult to decipher if Bobby was serious or just making fun of the situation. 

“Not sure if Crowley’s up for that…”  
Crowley had wandered to Dean’s side and had that questioning look on his face.  
“Up for what, love?”  
Christ… Covering the receiver on his phone, Dean turned to address Crowley.  
“Bobby wants to see you…”  
“Okay. When?”  
“What? ‘Okay’?”  
“Okay. I’ll see him.”  
Crowley wandered back to the kitchen.

‘Dean? Dean, are you there?’  
Bobby was still on the phone. Right.  
“Yeah.”  
“Where did ya go?”  
“Just talked to Crowley.”  
“And?”  
“He’ll see you.”  
“Really? Just like that?”  
Exactly. It was weird. Dean’s exes had to drag him kicking and screaming to see their family. It was uncomfortable and a hassle. So why was Crowley so….eager?  
“Apparently. Look, I’ll let you know when, okay?”  
“Okay, son. Take care. I’ll be interested to see this Crowley of yours”  
Conversation was best ended right there. 

“What the hell, man? You actually wanna see Bobby?”  
“Well, yes. Isn’t that what people do? He wanted to meet me.”  
“Well yeah, but you don’t have to. I wouldn’t hold it against you, you know…”  
“I want to. He is your family. And it doesn’t hurt to be on good terms with your boyfriend’s family.”  
“So… you want me to come and see your parents?”

“A cemetery in Oregon? Not really.”  
“Wait, you don’t have any family alive?”  
“No-one close. I think there might be a few cousins down south.”  
Dean was surprised. It had never really come up apart from that one night when Crowley told him about the parents reacting to his coming out. And now that he thought of it, there were no family pictures in the apartment. How could Dean have missed this big of a part about Crowley?  
“Man, I’m sorry. I always just assumed… And it’s been months! I am an inconsiderate asshole…” 

Crowley settled right in front of Dean to get his attention. His eyes bore into Deans to presumably get Dean’s attention.  
“Dean. You are fine. I never go around advertising this. I’m old enough to have dead parents.”  
“Still… I should have asked.”  
“I don’t mind. Really. You’ve seen my co-workers, and some of my friends in passing. I’d say that is plenty of socializing.”  
Dean started pacing in the kitchen to give himself something to do instead of bolting and driving his Baby for an hour. That would not be received well.  
“But I have an obnoxious brother! He has been up your business since day one.”  
“Sammy’s delightful. Dean, you have noticed I am a bit of a loner, right?”  
He had. He wasn’t blind.  
“Still wonder sometimes why you tolerate me here messing up your apartment and taking up all your time…”  
“Hey, I prefer to spend my time with you. You know I love you, right?”  
They had never said those words outside the bedroom. This threw Dean off. And his blank stare combined with the sudden stop in his pacing drew Crowley’s attention. 

“Love, are you okay?”  
“…yeah?”  
“You do know? That I love you? Dean, did you think I was just sleeping with you?”  
“I know you’re not just… You’ve said it before, I know… It…I haven’t… I thought it could have been just a post orgasmic thing. You know… hormones and stuff.”  
“Well it isn’t. When you said it back… was it just to say it? Or did you really mean it?”  
“I… meant it… I think at first it just slipped out. And then it kept happening. You didn’t make a big deal out of it. Which I appreciate, by the way. It was… is accurate. Just embarrassing to keep blurting that out loud…”  
Crowley’s face tried to communicate something complicated to Dean. Maybe pity or compassion. Never great at facial expressions, Dean was relieved when Crowley hugged him.  
“Love, you can tell me anything. Don’t hold back on my account. I know it’s not in your nature to talk about feelings. Consider me as your exception.”

______________________________________________________________________________

It was weird sitting in Dean’s car for five hours straight with Sam in the back seat. Crowley could imagine the fight over seating arrangements, as he could hear Sam sigh and bend his too long legs every ten minutes. But when he had offered to sit in the back, Dean had gone all ‘you’re my boyfriend- it’s my car’ on him and that was that.  
The road trip might have been a relaxing one, if Crowley hadn’t started to feel his nerves after the first ten miles.  
“Hey, you get to see Dean’s embarrassing old room!” Sam seemed very delighted about the whole thing. It could turn out to be a massively comical show for the kid, no matter how things went.  
“It’s a normal room, Sammy! Crowley, just remember I was seventeen.”  
“Will do, love”  
“You call Dean ‘love’? All the time?”  
“Not all the time.”  
“That is some real couples shit there. Bobby will be so happy.”

It was difficult to tell if that was sarcasm. Dean looked red in the face too.  
“What am I against here, guys? What’s he like?”  
“Bobby? He’s great. Bit gruff. Curses a lot. Likes books and watches soaps on TV. Hunts every fall, taught us to shoot too…”  
Sam’s description was not calming. All Crowley collected from that was, Bobby has a gun and knows how to use it.  
“Come on, Sammy. Don’t leave it at that. Crowley, you’re going to be fine. He’s a nice man”  
They say that about dogs too, and those things can, after sniffing your crotch, bite down your leg damn fast. ‘He’s a good dog’ doesn’t cover the spectrum of behavior. Just like ‘He’s a nice man’ doesn’t tell anything.  
“Okay then. Anything I shouldn’t say or do?”  
“Don’t eat his bacon and always look him in the eye”  
Jesus, that sounds like directions to deal with wild animals…  
\- -  
The house seemed run down on the outside. The flaky yellow paint had seen too much weather to look clean. Inside was clean though. And warm. The furniture was old and looked well worn. There were books everywhere and the paintings of deer and moose dominated the sitting room walls.  
Crowley’s hands were sweaty. His hands were never sweaty. This was not like going to see his date’s parents before prom. This was an important man, who was likely going to try and find a reason to shoot Crowley with salt pellets for corrupting his sweet kid. At least Dean looked equally nervous. 

The man who had opened the door was just a touch shorter than Dean and had an impressive beard-mustache combo. The cap on his head looked old. But not the kind of old hipsters liked. The real kind of old that had developed a personality. The hand he shook was callused and firm. Reminded Crowley of the two truckers he had operated on last week after an unfortunate accident with a heavy tool of some sort. Good blood volume and high blood pressure.  
Shuffling to the living room with their overnight bags left everyone awkward. Dean introduced Crowley to Bobby and it would have been adorable, if Crowley was less on edge. 

“Take yer stuff upstairs. I assume you guys are gonna bunk together. Ain’t no reason ta make Sammy sleep on the sofa”  
Dean immediately aimed his eyes to the floor and blushed something fierce.  
“Thank you, Mr. Singer”  
“Don’t mister me, boy. Ain’t these two ever done it. Go on. Dinner’s ready in a tick. Dean, don’t be an idjit and take you boyfriend upstairs.”

_ _______________________________________________________

Dean threw their bags on the bed and closed his eyes trying to relax.  
“You okay, love?”  
“Yeah. It’s just excessively weird…”  
If the tension didn’t go down, it was going to be an exhausting weekend. Funny how Crowley, Sam, and Bobby seemed far more at ease than Dean. Like they knew how this was supposed to go from the get-go and Dean was left in the dark about all of it.  
“So… Bobby seems nice…”  
Directing his attention to Crowley’s nervous smile grounded Dean in the reality. Because really, Crowley was the one thrown to this as an outsider.  
“You’re fine with staying here then? We can get a motel too.”  
“I’m fine. The bed looks narrow, but… you know… all the more reason to cuddle closer.”  
“You ever been to see a boyfriend’s family?”  
“Once”  
“How was that?”  
“Awkward. And his mother kept calling me his ‘special friend’”  
“…so this is okay thus far?”  
“Yes, Dean. Don’t worry. Bobby seems nice enough.”

Heading downstairs for a dinner of chicken and pasta behind Sammy got Dean more nervous.  
Plates loaded full of food and showing pasta down his throat was Dean’s defense against having to talk. But apparently he was not the one expected to talk anyway.  
“So, Crowley, where are ya from?”

Bobby started the questioning after Crowley had his second mouthful. Here we go. Mapping the route to the whiskey bottle in his mind, Dean braced for the awkward.  
“I’m originally from Seattle, moved to Chicago for medical school”  
“Why did ya decide to become a doctor?”  
Crowley’s chuckle signaled unnatural amount of confidence and being comfortable with the situation.  
“I was interested in how complex things work. And I guess a bit of morbid fascination in the human physiology helped make the decision.”  
“Not to help people?”  
“If I wanted that, I would have become a nurse.”  
“Fair enough. So how do you deal with patients then?”  
“Surgery allows me to do the fixing without communicating too much with patients.”  
“I see. So you don’t care about the patients?”  
“I care about getting them better and not fucking up. Can’t afford getting all weepy over a body, when the next one is as important.”  
“That happen often?”  
“Six times thus far.”

Jesus it was like a match of speed tennis with sharp objects. Dean was impressed with Crowley’s ability to not stumble over anything and not to bend under pressure.  
“Bobby, let Crowley eat. Jesus, you were never like this with Lisa…”  
“Lisa was a girl”  
“Sexist much?! You are like Lisa’s dad!”  
And that apparently made Crowley laugh.  
“Sorry, Dean. I don’t mind valid questions, really. Bobby’s entitled to worry”  
“I’m an adult. I really don’t need it…”  
“We’re never adults in the eyes of our parents, love”

_________________________________________________________________________________

The silence from Dean and Bobby indicated a direct hit. Shit. Was this something they never talked about? Too much for the first day with Dean’s family? Sam was at least still smiling at Crowley.  
“…um. Sorry?”  
“Huh? No… I guess that’s true…” Dean reached for his hand under the table.  
Bobby excused himself from the table wiping his eyes. Jesus. He really fucked up.  
Sam got Crowley’s attention then.  
“Dude, I think you just won the boyfriend of the decade.”  
“Sarcasm?”  
“No! That was the first time Bobby has been referred to as Dean’s parent. I think he had given up hope.”

Dean gave Crowley an unsure smile. Okay. It still felt like stepping on an emotional landmine only to find he was not really hurt.  
Putting the dishes and leftovers away with Dean, allowed Dean to try and reassure Crowley. But when he got a glimpse of Bobby on the porch, he decided to bite the bullet and talk to him. 

Slipping away from the bickering brothers and the pie, Crowley stepped into the cool evening.  
“He really think that?”  
Straight to the point then.  
“Seems like it. Didn’t mean to upset the balance you guys have”  
“Ain’t no problem”  
“Well. Still, not my place to-“  
“It’s harmless, boy”  
“Okay… and I haven’t been a ‘boy’ in a few decades by now.”  
“Don’t I know it”  
What was that supposed to mean? Crowley’s stare made Bobby finally face him.  
“I just mean that… ya know…Oh fuck it. Break his heart and I will find a way to hide yer body all over the state.”  
“Fair enough”  
“Glad to know we have an understanding”  
“To be clear, if that ever happened, I would save you the trouble and incinerate myself at the hospital morgue. I have access. Ashes are easier to spread.”  
Bobby chuckled and the small smile was genuine. “Well then. Why don’t we try and catch the last bits of pie Dean and Sam are undoubtedly fighting over”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

After scraps of pie and very little conversation, everybody retreated to their bedrooms. Dean was full of pie and anxious to interrogate Crowley about the chat with Bobby.  
“So? What did you guys do outside?”  
“Had a chat. We have an understanding”  
“Understanding about what?”  
“You. Look, it was just the ‘hurt Dean and I’ll kill you’ speech.”  
“Oh god… I’m sorry”  
“Hey, it was nothing I didn’t agree with. And much less rambling than Sam’s version. Where’s the bathroom?”

Directing Crowley to the upstairs bathroom and handing over a stack of clean looking towels left Dean wandering to downstairs and locating Bobby with his whiskey in the living room.  
“Ya doin’ okay?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Where’s yer boyfriend?”  
“Taking a shower. You really didn’t need to threaten him you know…”  
“Well I know it now. He’s a decent chap”  
And that was the highest praise Dean had ever heard from Bobby in terms of his dates.  
“Yeah.”

“Still don’t mean ya won’t get hurt or end up hurting ‘im”  
“I know. At least he’s unlikely to throw a hissy fit like the girls would. And the perks of dating a dude are so obvious. None of that overtly romantic bullshit: romantic comedies, candles, shopping trips… and the whole getting ready to go out – 2 minutes.”  
“Seems like ya have it good”  
“Yeah. So do you mind if Crowley makes breakfast? We kinda have this thing we do during the weekends and his omelets are really good…”  
“Well finally someone else is gonna drag some of tha weight around here. God knows you and Sammy have the culinary palate of a four-year-old.”  
“Hey! I resent that.”  
“Resent all ya want. Crowley’s welcome to the fridge and all that.”  
“We got some stuff on the way… as to not touch your sacred bacon”  
“Damn right. That stuff is specially cut for me.”

Dean got back upstairs just as Crowley was toweling off in his old bedroom.  
“Hey, we’re on breakfast duty tomorrow.”  
“Good. Would feel all kinds of wrong to just get served here like in a hotel.”  
“It’s my old home… I should be the one serving you stuff. Now you’re gonna be stuck in the kitchen because your boyfriend sucks at cooking”  
“Well… isn’t that our normal Saturday anyway? Not a huge deal to make a few more.”

And that was true. Made Dean feel like a spoiled princess, though.  
To separate himself from that notion, Dean promptly got on his knees. Quick glance towards the door to make sure it was closed, and Dean swallowed Crowley’s soft cock in one go. Crowley’s swearing was cut short as he got hard and bit down on the towel he had been using to dry off. It was more exciting than usual, considering they would need to keep quiet and of course the lack of a lock on the door… Well, Dean was turned on by the risk of it. He was distracted by the sound of Sam’s footsteps in the hallway and his attention snapped back only when a muffled groan signaled the imminent end of this activity. He felt Crowley’s hands on his head suddenly squeeze. And there was the flood of cum. Swallowing was imperative. There was no way he was going to explain Bobby, why the carpet needed to be cleaned.

“Love, you definitely don’t suck at that…”  
The word choice made Dean chuckle as he wiped his lips on the back of his hand.  
“Good to know. Maybe it will one day make up for the lack of cooking”  
“I like cooking for you.”  
No-one had ever said that. Not that it was anything romantic or huge to say. They both climbed in the small bed and settled in a close cuddle, Dean almost on top of Crowley. He didn’t mean to ask really anything important. Just something about how Crowley liked the house. But instead…  
“What on earth do you see in me?”

Crowley’s smirk was wicked and having that aimed at him usually meant some funky times.  
“Well you are a delight in the bedroom, love.”  
“Oh come on, Crowley. You could get that from a variety of dudes at the Blackstone’s”  
“Hah…right. To be honest, you are an adventure. You have the confidence to really be equals with me and you don’t make a fuss about unimportant things. Satisfied with that? Can we go to sleep now?”  
“Yeah. I mean, you too. You’re great with the equality and stuff”  
“What a sound analysis, love. But I’m tired. The bed is warm. And the adrenalin from dealing with Bobby has finally worn off.”  
“Sorry. Good night.”  
The sloppy kiss on his cheek was the most intimacy Crowley had given Dean in this house thus far. It was satisfying to curl around Crowley and thank Bobby in his mind for getting him a relatively sturdy twin bed.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Crowley woke up to Dean blowing into his face.  
“Hey… How did you sleep?”  
“It was okay. Have you been up long?”  
“Nah. I’m hungry.”  
Crowley smiled at that.  
“So you woke me to get breakfast? At 7am?”  
It was far earlier than they used to get out of bed.  
“I’m on Bobby time here. It’s a whole separate time zone. Never could sleep past eight. Probably some sort of conditioning”  
Crowley could see that. Dean had his repeating rituals. The omelets, the shower before bed, and the 11pm bedtime. He had thought it was all from military. Maybe it started earlier.  
He got out of his head to notice Dean was already wearing Crowley’s old sweat pants and standing at the door.  
Crowley congratulated himself for the decision to give those pants to Dean. Now all he needed to do was try to not have an erection.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Bobby was quietly pretending to read a newspaper at the kitchen table when Crowley and Dean prepared what seemed like a fancy breakfast.  
They moved around each other with an ease that spoke of a long relationship. Dean was mainly just handing vegetables around and staring at Crowley. It was the happiest Bobby had seen Dean. Even the birthdays the boy had under Bobby’s roof seemed subdued. Not many friends came over and each gift was cordially accepted with praising comments. There was hardly any real enthusiasm and for a while, Bobby had considered setting Dean up with some sort of counseling. 

But now, with an omelet in front of him, Dean seemed happy. The constant commentary on the goodness of the food might have been for Bobby’s benefit. And his eyes followed Crowley the entire time it took to finish up the rest of the omelets to be served for Bobby and Sam.  
And the food was good. Hearty and tasty. Bobby could understand Dean’s excitement about the meals Crowley prepared. If Crowley was a woman, Bobby would have possibly flirted to get the recipe for the omelet. And maybe an omelet maker too… Which made Bobby think about how this whole omelet thing had started. The domesticity of the scene hinted for a long standing tradition. 

“So this is yer normal Saturday then? Omelets.”  
“Yeah. Ain’t it great? Fluffy egg, tomato… perfect.”  
“It’s good, yeah. Good to have a backup plan if the whole doctorin’ don’t work out”

“Good to know, Bobby. Glad you don’t mind me invading your kitchen.”  
“Not at all. Ya already ‘invaded’ something more… dear to me than a kitchen. Unlikely that I would make a fuss”  
Crowley blushed and dropped the spatula.  
“Bobby! Jesus Christ, did you have to say that?! That’s disgusting. I’m trying to eat here…” Dean’s indignation was so funny, Bobby decided to come up with more fun remarks. For the first time Bobby felt like Dean was with someone he could maybe consider a part of their family in the future. 

___________________________________________

Showing Crowley the overlook Dean had his first real kiss on, was the kind of thing Dean used to think was stupid. But now it felt like he wanted Crowley to know everything. All the little details and the embarrassing mishaps. Like the time he was caught having sex with Mandy Mortens by the gym teacher. Or how he had shot his first duck and swam after it, because the dog didn’t like him.  
And all the while Crowley smiled and listened. Laughed at appropriate places and seemed curious about these mundane things. He even told Dean some of his own stories. Despite the too small bed and stealth blowjobs, Dean didn’t really want to leave on Sunday afternoon.

They were packing the car and Crowley was preparing snacks inside, when Bobby took Dean to the garage. After handing over some spare parts for the Impala, Bobby looked to Dean.  
“Dean, just so ya know, I think Crowley is a great guy”  
“But…?”  
“But nothing. He seems great for you.”  
“I know…”  
“Just sayin’. Don’t let this one get away. You’d be surprised how difficult finding yer person can be.”  
That was a surprise. Well, he was sure Bobby wouldn’t berate their relationship, but this was unexpected. And now Crowley was ‘his person’. Whatever that meant.  
“Okay… I’ll keep that in mind.”  
“If he was a girl, I’d tell you to buy a ring”  
Holy shit.  
“Too soon, man!”  
Bobby seemed to enjoy watching Dean splutter.  
“Yer right. See if ya can live with him first.”  
“Bobby, I appreciate your… enthusiastic acceptance of this. But calm the fuck down! My heart can’t take this shit right now.”  
“Yer heart’s fine, son.”  
And it was obvious Bobby was not referring to the organ.

Piling into the car and driving in silence was refreshing. And allowed Dean to think. For the whole five hours. Sam was asleep in the back seat, slightly hung over after a wild night with his old high school friends. Crowley was content with listening to the music and, as far as Dean could tell, drifting off to la-la land every once in a while.  
Bobby was right. Crowley was perfect. Well, as perfect as an adult human can reasonably be.  
Sammy would be moving away for law school after the summer, if the signs were to be believed. There had been some envelopes addressed to Stanford on the kitchen counter. The brochures from law schools had littered the coffee table for a while now.

 

\- [Two months later] -

It took a lot more planning than he thought. Dean had packed the last of Sammy’s things during the weekend. There wasn’t much left. Just a desk Dean was planning to use in the now empty, soon to be office. As far as he knew, Crowley hadn’t renewed his lease yet. 

It was a Tuesday. And Dean made sure Dr. Newman would call for an unnecessary consult at the ER. Then it was just a matter of bribing the triage nurse with doughnuts and handing Dr. Newman the incredibly decent bottle of scotch to gain him access to one of the exam rooms.

He was pacing the small room and sweating through the impeccably pressed shirt. A small box with a key to his apartment in his pocket.  
The nurses brief “The doctor will see you now” with a wink made Dean’s heart skip a beat.  
At least they were already in a hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending is left a bit open on purpose. It did not feel right to end it any other way. Epilogue is not in the cards at this point, but I can't completely rule it out.


End file.
